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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain about the father Christmas we saw?

40 replies

Carrotpuree · 07/12/2015 15:45

On a visit to a national trust property this weekend, we excitedly took DS (nearly 3) and Granny to meet Father Christmas. This is the first year he's really started to understand Chistmas, the idea of presents and of course the big man in red. he also has a clear understanding of what naughty / nice is. Apart from being a bit shy and hiding behind his Dad's leg DS was perfectly nice, gave his name etc although didn't sit on Santa's lap so when the moment came for the "have you been a good boy this year?" question we were expecting a photo moment, big smiles, gift etc... However Father Christmas said he thought DS had actually been quite naughty this year. Cue tears from DS. He'd already asked DS's age so knew he isn't even 3 yet. I want to write & complain, If its "only" a joke and "just" a visit to Santa then don't charge £3.50 and advertise it for small children, but for the national trust I would someone who gets that you don't joke about being too naughty with a small child on the subject of Christmas pressies....AIBU?

OP posts:

Aramynta · 07/12/2015 16:48

Sounds awful OP. I would definitely complain. Even if the children ho come to see Santa are little shits misbehave, it's not for him to actually say anything.

As far as it being a "joke", who the fuck does that to a kid?

Daisysbear · 07/12/2015 16:52

"I find the whole thing of going into a grotto and sitting on Santa's lap unbearably creepy"

Why do some people have to see unpleasantness in everything

OP YANBU. I would complain.

PrivatePike · 07/12/2015 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhetherOrNot · 07/12/2015 16:56

I will not be telling my kids about Santa

I wonder how old they will be before they find out and call you a liar???

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 07/12/2015 17:00

We were at one yesterday who said to my two dcs (my youngest being same age as your son) have you been naughty and they laughed and said no. It was just banter, nobody got upset and I answered too and said no they have been good santa.

I don't understand why he was upset at not getting a plane though, did you not explain that he was to tell santa what he wanted on Xmas day and wasnt actually getting it yesterday but would get something else.I'm not surprised it was an owl since it was a national trust property and they are generally all about nature etc.

I guess it was all to do with his tone too, if you think it was out of order then complain.

glentherednosedbattleostrich · 07/12/2015 17:04

Yep complain, and re the 'wrong' present, the easiest way to explain that away is Santa is saving the proper present for Christmas, and an owl still flies doesn't it!!

derxa · 07/12/2015 17:04

it just didn't endear Santa to him any when it was a small owl
Would a large owl have been better?

GreenPotato · 07/12/2015 17:34

*"I find the whole thing of going into a grotto and sitting on Santa's lap unbearably creepy"

Why do some people have to see unpleasantness in everything sad*

I don't see unpleasantness in everything, I find grotto santas creepy that's all!

And let's face it before the days of CRB checks (and even today), if some santas weren't/aren't genuinely dodgy I'll eat my elf hat. It's the IDEAL situation for someone who's a bit suspect around kids to get themselves into. But that aside, it's a bit creepy anyway - strange dark room, bloke you basically don't know, judging you on how good you've been because he's been WATCHING your every move. Fun for some kids maybe, others are a bit more sensitive.

BlueJug · 07/12/2015 18:56

I agree that Santa is creepy - always have thought that. Saw "him" once when I was a kid and hated it. Never took my kids. They were not believers anyway. Hate all the good/bad crap.

Ours understood that Christmas was magical and exciting but the Father Christmas myth didn't ever really take off.

Of course you will not get a plane from some random Santa. Obviously you will get a NT gift. Naughty/ Nice is horrible but it has always been a mainstay of the Father Christmas myth so the Father Christmases in grottos usually play along with it. Maybe DS was a bit young, maybe the Santa was a bit rubbish, maybe you could have handled it better by showing it was a joke.

Hope it all goes well on the Day! No disappointment.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 07/12/2015 18:59

I only joke like that with kids I know well and know that they have the understanding to know I'm joking. They're much older than 3! If you don't know, you shouldn't chance it, especially with littlies! I appreciate it may encourage some children to be less shy, but it is equally likely to make them cry as in your case

AllTheChefs · 07/12/2015 19:08

Many years ago our local Santa was sacked for being drunk. Local newspaper headline was 'Blotto in the Grotto'.

Daisysbear · 08/12/2015 13:00

"But that aside, it's a bit creepy anyway - strange dark room, bloke you basically don't know, judging you on how good you've been because he's been WATCHING your every move. Fun for some kids maybe, others are a bit more sensitive"

Fair enough, if you have a child that's nervous of the idea of Santa you have to work around that.
But describing the whole process of visiting Santa, which is part of the magic of Christmas for most children, as creepy etc is a bit bleak.

Damselindestress · 08/12/2015 13:19

YANBU. It was an ill-judged joke that a small child wouldn't understand, of course he would be upset to think that Santa was disappointed in him! Someone who is working with the public should have better people skills.

MrsToddsShortcut · 08/12/2015 13:41

YANBU about Santa, but a tiny bit U about the owl.

DS and DD went to see Santa at a large SE shopping mall. DS was 6 and very excited. Santa himself was absolutely fine (if around 25 under his beard) but the grotto was full of 'Ice Guards' who were dressed up and chatting to the kids. One of them, a young woman who was clearly taking her thespian role very seriously, had adopted a strange sort of 'Ice Guard' voice (a bit like Cary Grant on steroids).

She approached DS and asked if he had been good and he giggled and said yes. She then replied "I don't think you have! I think you've been naughty! Have you been naughty?". He said no again, and she insisted "No, I think you have been naughty". He then promptly burst into tears. She then got really embarrased and looked really out of her depth and then tried to apologise which made DS worse, as he just wanted to get away from her at this point. She kept following him around, and in the end, after I'd asked her to leave him alone, the woman behind us in the queue told her to go away and "Quit while you're ahead". The whole things was a bit hideous, but it was obvious that she didn't mean any harm, she just didn't have a clue how to act around young children.

LauraMipsum · 08/12/2015 13:49

YANBU OP. I'd have been fixing Santa with the look of death that suggested one more word along those lines and I'd be feeding his bollocks to Rudolph and saying something like "Oh gosh, it's a good thing we came to see you before Christmas! You must have got DS mixed up with another naughty little boy, whereas actually DS is very, very good!"

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