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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I didn't go to a strip club, are you proud?'

27 replies

jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 20:58

..is what my charming ex said to me earlier after bringing our 1 year old dd home. He went out for his work's Christmas party on Friday and told me he couldn't remember a thing but that he got punched in the mouth on the dance floor in some night club and now has 2 wobbly front teeth. He also nearly went home with some 'fit 23 year old Finnish girl' - the willpower it must have taken.

AIBU to be so incredibly thankful that I'm no longer with him but also a bit sad that dd has him for a dad?

OP posts:
ShamefulPlaceMarker · 06/12/2015 20:59

Oh dear!

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 06/12/2015 21:00

Yanbu to be thankful :)

Sleepingbunnies · 06/12/2015 21:01

Yes immensely proud GrinHmm

DeltaZeta · 06/12/2015 21:04

So would he like a medal for not going to a strip club?
Perhaps you should also give him a certificate for spending time with his DD?

Then everyone will know what an all round nice guy he is.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 21:07

Yeah he does his 3 hours per week of 'parenting' and seeks to think that he has it so difficult. I'm worried about what influence he will have on dd but at the same time I just feel so lucky that I didn't settle and spend the rest of my life with him like I very nearly did!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 06/12/2015 21:13

God, he's enough to make you sing "Reasons to be cheerful" isn't he?

NotEnoughTime · 06/12/2015 21:14

Thank goodness he's your ex.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 06/12/2015 21:16

Yes, it sounds like you should be very proud.

Of yourself. For dumping him.

Grin
Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 21:26

I don't know why I moped around crying when we broke up. I really don't. I knew I was over him but I realised just how much when I literally could not have cared less if he did go home with the girl! He said the only reason he didn't go to the strip club is because he didn't have enough money Hmm

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 06/12/2015 21:31

He ... considered going to a strip club with your daughter in tow?
Confused

febreeze · 06/12/2015 21:39

Well he is you ex and single?

If he wants to go out drinking, go to a strip club and shag a 23 year old it is none of your business.

How would you feel if he criticised your dating or entertainment choices.

ShebaShimmyShake · 06/12/2015 21:41

febreeze, of course he has the right to do those things, but it's rather oafish to boast about them to the mother of your child even if she is your ex...and he's certainly a shithead if he thinks he deserves a medal for not doing them while in charge of his infant daughter.

I can't believe I had to explain that.

HirplesWithHaggis · 06/12/2015 21:42

No, Vestal. He had his dd for 3 hours today, the non-visit to the strip club was Friday night.

ShebaShimmyShake · 06/12/2015 21:42

Incidentally, OP, while I understand why you're worried - who wouldn't be - he doesn't sound intelligent enough to know how to get involved with your daughter at any meaningful emotional level. I'm very confident that as your daughter grows up, she'll see him as the lumbering, useless dickhead he is and actively seek out men who are nothing like him.

abbsismyhero · 06/12/2015 21:44

he sounds like he thinks he is something i bet the 23 year old finnish girl was the one who punched him Wink

Owllady · 06/12/2015 21:47

I'd ask him to stop telling you this stuff tbh why do you need to know any of it?

atreya · 06/12/2015 21:51

Thank goodness he's your ex! How revolting.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 21:51

I really, really hope you're right Sheba - he doesn't connect with dd on any emotional level whatsoever and never did with me come to think of it.

febreze you're right, it's absolutely none of my business which is why I didn't want to hear about it or be asked whether I'm proud of his ability to refrain from going to a strip club or going home with someone. And I'm not criticising strip clubs as a form of entertainment, I'm criticising my ex for being a dick!

OP posts:
Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 21:52

abbs that's exactly what I thought Grin

OP posts:
atreya · 06/12/2015 21:56

Revolting was your ex, and his sharing this information, not the strip clubs (though I'm not a fan of the idea of strip clubs).

VestalVirgin · 06/12/2015 21:56

No, Vestal. He had his dd for 3 hours today, the non-visit to the strip club was Friday night.

Oh, good. That combination shocked me.

However, I would not feel comfortable leaving a child in the care of a man who would go to strip clubs if he had the cash. Not even for three hours.

It is rather unfortunate that he is the father of this poor child.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 06/12/2015 21:56

I think he was trying to make me feel jealous Owl - unfortunately for him it had the opposite effect.

OP posts:
OutsSelf · 06/12/2015 22:02

Proud that you meet a basic standard of decency? Nope.

You're well rid, OP.

Heatherplant · 06/12/2015 23:01

Sounds like a man I used to know! I think that the only truth in his account of said 'epic night' is he got punched in the face and he's too broke to visit a strip club. I'm willing to bet the 'fit 23 year old' spent the night trying to avoid him. How did you keep from laughing in his face? Hope he grows up soon.

Fratelli · 07/12/2015 07:42

Ohh dear! What a knob! Yanbu at all!

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