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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say that 'fart' is not an appropriate word for a 2yo?

271 replies

IcecreamBus · 03/12/2015 20:53

Basically, DH thinks it's fine to say farty-farty whenever DD has wind, which she thinks is hilarious and now copies.

I've said that I don't think it's a nice word for a child to learn. My argument is that fart is along the same lines as 'crap', not offensive as an adult but you wouldn't want your toddler saying it. He says it's not the same at all and that fart is utterly non-offensive. It's not a huge deal, we're kind of just a bit bemused with each other's views over it. So who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

SelfRaisingFlour · 04/12/2015 16:24

I once worked with an adult married man, who genuinely believed that women don't fart. The women in the office assured him that women do, but he'd just never heard a woman, even his wife, do it (sheltered life I guess).

squoosh · 04/12/2015 16:24

And 'beep beep' for fart? Does that not lead to hilarity for kids when in traffic situations?

Fart means nothing but fart, whereas a lot of these other terms seem to have dual meanings.

tuilamum · 04/12/2015 16:39

I call DD fart pants all the time. She's only 4mo but I'm sure she'll pick it up, I don't think its a swear word at all, its a word kids find funny, I remember my DB giggling his arse off saying the word fart, with musical accompaniment iyswim... Mum used to tell him not to be disgusting bit I don't think that was because of the word tbh
(I'm 21)

reni2 · 04/12/2015 16:40

We tend not to dwell on it if somebody farts, I think it needed talking about 3 or 4 times in 15 years' worth of parenting.

queenmools · 04/12/2015 16:52

Beep beep is especially fun when we sing wheels on the bus!

azerty · 04/12/2015 16:54

Different families different opinions. Have friends who think fart is offensive but tell each other to shut up. We are the other way round...

VestalVirgin · 04/12/2015 17:06

My argument is that fart is along the same lines as 'crap', not offensive as an adult but you wouldn't want your toddler saying it.

Frankly, I don't get that logic. Either I think a word is offensive or I think it is not.

The only thing I'd be worried about in that context is the child not being able to choose the appropriate words for different situations. But the danger that a child makes a comment when someone farts is independent from which word you teach her.

liz70 · 04/12/2015 17:08

I wouldn't want DD3 (6) using it, either. She is Miss Bot Blaster when flatulent. :-D

reni2 · 04/12/2015 17:13

"But the danger that a child makes a comment when someone farts is independent from which word you teach her." Agreed, VestalVirgin.

And since the done thing in the UK is not to notice much less mention it if somebody farts, surely you don't want to teach your kids words for it? I mean other than the usual fart they'll hear everywhere, if you want a cutesy-poo word for it you have to discuss and later correct it. By the end they think fart=must discuss it. Least said soonest mended I think. If they fart say "go to the loo please".

Sallystyle · 04/12/2015 17:17

Why does the OP need to get a grip? (Aimed at an earlier poster who told her to get a grip)

She said she wasn't offended and she was just bemused by it.

cruikshank · 04/12/2015 17:23

Fart has never been a swear-word afaik, but we were encouraged not to use it while growing up. Now my dcs say it and so do I, and it always feels like a small act of rebellion.

cruikshank · 04/12/2015 17:24

Jobby is Scottish for poo, isn't it?

squoosh · 04/12/2015 17:33

Yes, but not in polite company.

FlightofFancy · 04/12/2015 17:47

I prefer fart to all the alternatives - many of which I think are really twee and a bit hyacinth bouquet - eg parp or bottom burp. Don't think it was an issue growing up either - and I'm 37.

Have just been encouraging 6 year old DS to say fart rather than parp.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 04/12/2015 18:04

Tbf although I hate most expressions for it, I do think parp/trump/guff/bottom burp/pop pop etc are all way worse than fart. But I think blow off is the nicest way, although I can live with fart but prefer any talk of it to be kept to a minimum.

I have no problem with poo or wee (although struggle to say poo in front of my mum). I never swear in front of my mum and that definitely includes crap. I wouldn't say fart in front of her either though it isn't a swear word. She didn't let us say knackered but I never understood why not. We weren't middle class, we were 'underclass'.

As I said earlier I'm 28 so not that old. My mum said bottom not bum and she said wind. Eurrgh and 'front bottom'. I say vagina. (Please don't get in my face vulva people, I only learnt about vulva about 3 years ago on mn and it's too late to change my vaginal ways).

squoosh · 04/12/2015 18:06

'blow off' sounds too oral sex related for me.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 04/12/2015 18:09

No sqoosh! It took me years to get OK with blow off. You're going to destroy it for me!

LeaLeander · 04/12/2015 18:15

It was not an accepted word in my family of origin and I have continued that as an adult. I don't discuss bodily functions and I tend to withdraw from those who do. There are many non-uptight adults who nevertheless find it uncouth - men as well as women.

I realize one does have to explain certain things to children who are learning about what their own bodies do but there is no reason not to use clinical terms and certainly no reason to not be teaching the child that one is discreet about what emits from one's alimentary canal.

I'd have a hard time getting turned on by a man who guffaws at flatulence humor, to be honest. The DH might want to keep that in mind.

pretend · 04/12/2015 18:22

I'm finding all the pearl clutching over a normal part of everyday existence, a natural bodily function that everyone does, hilarious

It's so English

It's a fart here or a trump. DS is three and to be honest I'm not too bothered about language

Pipbin · 04/12/2015 18:25

I teach reception and it's not a word I would use with a child. However many of the children in the class do use it.

I think knackered is a similar word. I'd not use it in front of children but I wouldn't be offended or tell a child off for using it.

pretend · 04/12/2015 18:29

If DS farts we fall about laughing, although I do encourage an "excuse me!". I fart in front of him with impunity

All these families where kids have to pretend they don't fart - it's bonkers!

Narp · 04/12/2015 18:31

Pipbin

I agree

My mum use to say 'whoopsed'

LucyBabs · 04/12/2015 18:39

The pearl clutchers would be horrified in our house.

I ask ds (4) "What are you ds"
"I'm a little shite Mammy"
Cue howls of laughter.
I adore ds really

wallywobbles · 04/12/2015 18:53

We all do it and it's important to talk about it when your kids have tummy ache. If they don't / can't fart it can cause real agony. As we know from various trips to A&E.

I'm bemused by some people's reaction to farting. My dad was a noisy farter and me and my partner too. It's fine and I love not having to worry about hiding it as I have IBS.

The DCs were at pre-school with someone who had to stand outside for 5 mins to fart. Bizarre stuff.

Katedotness1963 · 04/12/2015 18:57

When ours were little we called it a "windy". What's that smell? Did you do a windy?

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