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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To support dd ?

64 replies

Teenagecrisisagain · 03/12/2015 18:57

Dd1 is 14

She is very bright and has been doing really well at school
She also has some quite debilitating health problems and really struggles on a daily basis

Did has decided she would like to be a make up artist. Normal make up and special effects and it's something she's really interested in. I want her to be happy and to do a job one day that she enjoys

However, we've had nothing but negativity from friends family and even the gp!!?
Dd had an appt and there were the usual questions what school do you go to? Do you like it? What job do you want one day? And then mild shock when dd replied "I'd like to be a make up artist" and other careers then suggested ?
Dd knows she will need to do gcses and wants to do a levels so that she has good qualifications but ultimately wants to be a make up artist and I don't think there's anything wrong with that

Family members think she is wasting a good education. I just want her to be happy. She's 14 and that's what she wants to do currently. She's on her way to getting good gcse results I think so if she ever did change her mind regarding potential careers she could but surely that's up to her ?

I hate the attitude that somehow beauty therapy/make up artist is somehow beneath her just because she's intelligent ??

OP posts:
LunchpackOfNotreDame · 03/12/2015 18:59

She can go onto theatre school and study stage make up or at least tell people that's what she's going to do for uni...once she's 18 it's her choice

Yanbu BTW

goodnightdarthvader1 · 03/12/2015 19:01

Nothing wrong with that! She could end up working with loads of famous people, or on a soap opera or something. She should go for it.

KeepOnMoving1 · 03/12/2015 19:01

Tbh op I think makeup artist jobs are a dime a dozen. Anybody and everybody is a MUA these days. It's also what a lot of people do on the side. Can she pursue this as a hobby rather and see where it takes her.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 03/12/2015 19:02

I jut want her to be happy with whichever career she chooses and not push her into something everyone thinks she should do

She has so much to deal with and at one point I worried if she would ever actually be able to one day work. She tried so hard and is doing so well and is really interested in this subject and we want to support her. If she changes her mind it's up to her, if not it's fine

I really don't like people discouraging her

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 03/12/2015 19:04

Dd has said herself she is going to try and get good gcse and a level results and she works hard so that she has other options if changes her mind but she currently is very set on make up artist

I really don't mind what she does as long as she's happy and her health isn't affected
I've just been very surprised at people's reactions
Family members have been aghast we've had comments like "but you got 100% in your physics exam why don't you become a scientist" (???!!)

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 03/12/2015 19:05

Firstly she needs to really look into it.

Loads of people are training as make up artists now. It may be a flooded market.

Yanbu to support her. She needs to decide which area she wants to get into. Beauty, theatre and film, fashion etc and look at what her options are.

It's also quite a demanding job, is her health up to it?

If she has considered all this and still wants to do it that's great.

Most people thinks of make up artists as being the people in department stores selling products. Rather than the wider job role....most of the staff in department stalls aren't MUA. But it's what people think of when you say it.

Nothing wrong with that job but it's not really make up artists.

TheCarpenter · 03/12/2015 19:06

Fuck everyone else. Tell them to shut their pie hole. My DS wants to be a game designer. He might not end up doing it, but no harm in him trying as long as he keeps an eye on his studies.

She sounds cracking OP. Jesus, wish I knew what I wanted to do at that age. I only made up my mind in my 30's. No matter how clever you are it's shite doing a job you hate and wishing 'if only'.

AnyFucker · 03/12/2015 19:07

I think it is great she has a very clear idea of what her goals are. So many teens do not.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 03/12/2015 19:09

She's lucky in that I have a friend who is a mua and has given did a few little lessons and had a chat with her about it all
Also have family in the film Industry so dd can talk to them as well and decide if it's definitely for her

I can't say long term how her health will be tbh but for now, I want to be positive and really don't like how negative everyone is family/friends etc

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 03/12/2015 19:10

Agree with AF.

Also, I didn't follow my dream career, ended up regretting it and retraining in it at 28, going to uni while working full time. Fucking knackering.

HemanOrSheRa · 03/12/2015 19:14

You carry on supporting her in her choices. FWIW I really wanted to be a beauty therapist when I was your DD's age. I was steered towards more academic subjects because I was the nerdy one.

30 years on I have a job that I love, working with people. But if I had the chance at the age of 43 to retrain to be a therapist I would jump at it.

badg3r · 03/12/2015 19:15

YANBU, good for you for sticking up for her. She is only 14, and she may well change her mind (several times!) So as long as she keeps her options open, which she has recognised she is doing, then everyone else should butt out.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 03/12/2015 19:17

Good for her. Look into it with her - it could be a fabulous job. I think there's a make up artists college next to Elstree Studios which has a good reputation. Might be worth seeing what qualifications they need.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 03/12/2015 19:17

I'm just glad she has something in mind and is positive about her future. She may well at some point change direction as she's only 14 but she seems pretty set on being a mua and I like it that she has some direction
I just really really can't abide the look firstly people have done when she says what she would like to do and then the suggestions of other careers

Dh spoke with dd at length and said we fully support her choices but that at this stage it's always good to work hard at everything so she has the most options available to her later down the line and that we are proud she has something she's aiming for

I'm aware being a mua may not always provide reliable full time work but if dd is doing something she enjoys everyday that can only be a good thing surely ? She's said herself she may have to have another job alongside

OP posts:
jay55 · 03/12/2015 19:18

Support her. She'll possibly change her mind over and over in the next couple of years but your support will mean she'll be confident and motivated in her choices.

beelights · 03/12/2015 19:20

I went to Uni, as did most of my classmates. However, one of my secondary school mates dropped out after GCSEs and did hairdressing and makeup. Guess who ended up travelling round the world and working for Vogue....?

Go for it!!

RoseWithoutAThorn · 03/12/2015 19:21

Definitely support and encourage your DD. My DS had his heart set on being a pilot at 13 and lot of friends and family laughed at the time. He never lets them forget who had the last laugh when he sees them now though. My friends DD is currently doing an HNC in something to do with make up and theatre and loves it. Support her all you can is my advice.

Whatthequack · 03/12/2015 19:32

I have a friend who went on to University to specialise in Prosthetic and Special Effect make up. She did a foundation in Art and Design after completung her A levels. Usually you need a portfolio of art work to show your creativity at interview level if she's wanting to go on to University to specialise in it . Also if she wants to have a 'head start' some local colleges do once a week night courses in Theatrical and Media make up which can lead to body painting competitions and doing work experience in theatres for different plays. Your DD could probably do that while doing her A levels.

BonitaFangita · 03/12/2015 19:33

Oh to be young and have all that future ahead of you!
I think it's wonderful at her age that she knows what she want to do and is obviously a very creative and intelligent girl. It always helps when your child has something to focus on and work for to achieve their best at school.
Like other posters have said the possibilities for her go as far as her ambition allows.

Snowglobe18 · 03/12/2015 19:33

If that's what she wants to do, great. Just be aware, along with vet, marine biologist, dancer and archaeologist, MUA was one of those careers that a huge proportion of girls in my class wanted to pursue at 14.
We have one vet, but the others all developed different interests pretty quickly.

Molio · 03/12/2015 19:39

If you don't want family members commenting then why are you involving them so closely in your DD's education? I'm astounded that any family member beyond a mother or father would know exactly what results a DC got in a public exam, let alone a 14 yr old's test. Extraordinary.

knittingwithnettles · 03/12/2015 19:42

I know someone whose daughter said exactly the same at 14. They supported her (despite feeling really irritated by her choice of "career")and she did A levels which were compatible (think Drama, Media, Art Pysch), except that once supported they found she did very well at GSCE and at ASlevel and has now decided to do Pyschology at uni. So just laying down a confident plan at 14 can lead to a different confident plan at 17/18.

When someone is 14, you should just be glad they have plans at all!

lunar1 · 03/12/2015 19:48

My friend is a makeup artist, she has an incredible life and travels the world. She studie business at university and makeup in the evenings.

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 03/12/2015 19:49

Being a makeup artist is actually very doable! You don't even need to go on a residential course at a makeup academy, you don't need to work as an assistant to an established MUA (though they are both legit ways in). I know a young woman who did two correspondence courses (one was Illamasqua, don't know the other), then boom, set herself up as a qualified makeup artist!

She did free makeup for test shoots and for photo sessions to build up a portfolio, and it snowballed. Weddings, proms, people even book her for halloween makeup! No-one cares that she was shit at anything creative at school and that she didn't go to college. As long as your dd can keep herself motivated, she has a strong shot at building a good career.

nickandboo · 03/12/2015 19:51

I ignored BOTH my dream careers to go for something 'better' as I got very good GCSEs and ended up with my mental health suffering a lot and taking years to get myself feeling better and back to what I wanted to do. I didn't even end up financially better after all of it, so I'd say just encourage her, especially if she's willing to still do as well as possible in all subjects etc, not ignore them in favour of just focusing on make-up. Personally think getting self-esteem and self-belief back takes FAR longer than getting any qualifications/experience does - she can always change her mind.

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