How the hell can dads just up and leave their kids?!

[harboromummy]

Feeling super hormonal tonight.

Left abusive ex husband over two years ago. He was around the kids the first year, this year he's been shocking. Haven't heard from him in over a month, doesn't pay csa, demands to have the kids on his terms (I.e every time it's someone in his families bday so he looks "good").

My dd isn't that bothered, she's 7 and my ds whose 6 doesn't really talk about him. But they adored their dad.

I'm heartbroken for them. They must be. How can someone just leave like that?! How can he carry on his life and no be bothered especially having spent 5/6 years with them practically full time?! I'm so angry.

I've just read your other thread about how your "D"P refuses to buy your child anything for Christmas and only gives you £100 a month for household bills - and you're still defending him?! You even state that he "isn't the best father" to the child you have together, so why are you so willing to pin all the blame on his ex?

You said the reason for no maintainence being paid was as he didn't know if the child was his. What's his excuse with you and your joint child?

Can you not see that he is the issue?

My abusive ex did it to punish me for leaving hm. He said that his condition for remaining in DS1's life was that I went back to him, otherwise he would opt out entirely and DS would eventually hate me for depriving him of his father. I didn't go back and since that day I have never heard from him or any of his family. Their loss. It has been a million times easier just getting on with life without him and DS really is better without someone so unreliable and manipulative in his life. He is more or less an adult now and has asked questions but never requested to find his dad.