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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think cooking two fillets of fish for one person is a bit much?

325 replies

MarianneSolong · 01/12/2015 18:43

I'm going out. Spouse is cooking two salmon fillets for himself. I think it's a bit greedy and he should either have just one - or save the packet for a night when we're both in.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 01/12/2015 22:04

I cook two each, they are not big at all.
MN always seems so food miserly.

SarahSavesTheDay · 01/12/2015 22:09

It sounds like maybe you view sharing of food as a barometer for generosity, which is reasonable. Perhaps there are larger issues here, but it seems reasonable that you let him organise his meals without interference.

ouryve · 01/12/2015 22:33

Is he completely on board with the mostly vegetarian meals, Marianne?

MrsJayy · 01/12/2015 23:09

Maybe the guy thought woohoo i can eat some food she is going out i mean 8oz steak between 2 is stingy so 2 salmoln steaks which were probably miniscule would filll him id probably eat 2

maybebabybee · 01/12/2015 23:15

I'm sitting here genuinely shocked that there are people here going 'well I couldn't eat two'.

Have you seen the size of those things?!

Cabrinha · 01/12/2015 23:40

It's OK to have 2 because you're hungry.

It's also OK to have 2 because you just bloody like them and even though 1 would satiate you and meet your nutritional needs, you just want another.

Nobody can comment on his motives. Not least because we don't even know how much bloody fish we're talking about!

But from your last post OP, it doesn't sound like it's about food at all. You're upset because you shared the sea bream and the pastries and he didn't share the salmon.

Either there's a wider context that he's a selfish arse, or that you invest too much meaning in food sharing!

If he's just eaten both your protein or treat budget for the week, then it wasn't on.

But otherwise - he wants salmon, he eats salmon, as a household you just buy some more salmon.

Simple!

CremeBrulee · 02/12/2015 00:24

No Maybebaby, that's just it, none of us has seen the size of them!!

Sansoora · 02/12/2015 02:53

The other week I'd bought a packet of two sea bream fillets while he was out and cooked one for myself.

And yesterday I'd bought a couple of pastries - we don't tend to have much cake around - and saved one for him.

A bloke would usually need to more to eat than a woman so how about you start buying a 3rd piece of fish, cake, etc? And maybe increase the size of steak you buy as well because that 4oz each isn't really worth bothering with.

VimFuego101 · 02/12/2015 03:14

Personally I would eat one piece and bulk it out with veg - but I have no doubts I could eat two if I felt like it Grin

aprilanne · 02/12/2015 05:47

i would let my hubby eat the whole contents of the fridge if i thought he would cook for himself .

ArmchairTraveller · 02/12/2015 05:48

So it's not about the fish at all, it's about needing to feel loved and appreciated and sharing your last Rollo? That you think of him regularly and he seems to be ignoring you and you'd like a bit of pampering too?
Get over to Relationships and ask the wise women there how to talk to him about the bigger things that are going on in your relationship.
Because silent huffing won't change things.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 02/12/2015 07:23

DP could easily eat two fillets of fish, but he does manual work for 9 hours a day and comes home starving most nights! I think most pre-packed portions are pretty small though and they shrink once cooked so two for a grown man is not unreasonable. YABU.

Enjolrass · 02/12/2015 07:35

So you saved him a cake? And assume he has to do the same?

In that case you didn't save anything because you wanted to. If you were hungry enough to eat, eat both.

I suspect with your portions sizes that you couldn't eat both.

Why are you equating a piece of salmon with love?

He was hungry, he ate both. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.

You seem to be quite obsessive over food. You are connecting food to other feelings. Has food been an issue for you before?

ofallthenerve · 02/12/2015 07:45

What Sansoora said. You might be ok with one small sea bream fillet, but perhaps that isn't enough for him. Men do tend to have bigger appetites ime.

PennyHasNoSurname · 02/12/2015 07:50

Who the jeffers shares an 8oz steak 《boggles》

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 02/12/2015 07:59

Er...I would share an 8oz steak.

8oz is a ridiculously large portion! Unless you basically have nothing but steak on your plate/are a body builder/running marathons.

People's perceptions of normal sizes are insane!

Bakeoffcake · 02/12/2015 08:04

I too would share an 8oz steak.

Govt guidelines say you should only have 100g of red meat a day. An 8oz steak is 226gs. So sharing an 8oz steak is what is recommended.

Enjolrass · 02/12/2015 08:06

Govt guidelines say you should only have 100g of red meat a day. An 8oz steak is 226gs. So sharing an 8oz steak is what is recommended.

So government guidelines are always stuck to in your house and no one is allowed to veer from them?

Sounds fun!

Bakeoffcake · 02/12/2015 08:09

"So government guidelines are always stuck to in your house and no one is allowed to veer from them?"

Hmm

How the heck do you come to that conclusion from my post? I was mearly pointing out govt guidelines.

MTPurse · 02/12/2015 08:16

I can not get past the sharing of an 8oz Steak Confused

Bakeoffcake · 02/12/2015 08:26

If you ground up an 8oz steak into mince, that would be half a packet of mince, how many people would eat that amount?

It's also two quarters pound burgers. Again, who would eat that amount of meat?

Its a lot of red meat to eat in one session, unless you're very hungry.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 02/12/2015 08:33

Government guidelines work on a average though and are not an absolute. They don't in any way recommend cutting an 8 oz steak in half.

Unless you are eating an 8 oz steak every day, in which case you probably would be better cutting it in half.

Higge · 02/12/2015 08:33

I'd eat a 10oz steak - with salad no problem. I split a 8oz for the kids they like chips more than the steak. If I had to split a 8oz between two I'd make a stir fry or something to bulk it out because it isn't enough. And a quarter pounder is tiny!

firesidechat · 02/12/2015 08:33

But Bakeoff why do you care what I or anyone else eats? An 8 oz steak is pretty standard on restaurant menus and has been as long as I can remember (a very long time), so can't be that weird. I don't suppose many people eat steak regularly, but why shouldn't they have a decent amount as a treat.

The only reason we are commenting on what the op's husband ate is because she asked for opinions.

Only1scoop · 02/12/2015 08:36

Not if he's hungry.

Seems it's about the gesture rather than the fish.