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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take our pet back home

242 replies

Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 12:01

We have been having a huge amount of work done in the house for the last few months.

A few weeks ago (when it was very disruptive/dusty/noisy) we asked dm if she would mind having our rabbit till the work is finished. She agreed. He has a big indoor cage and an outside run. Dh dropped it all round to dm

I go there after school drop off to feed him and dh goes through clean litter tray etc when it needs doing. At weekend dm feeds him.

The work is nowhere near finished and our house is an absolute tip atm
Dm has declared today the rabbit has to be gone by Christmas ??? She knows we are nowhere near completion of the work and that we have a house full at Xmas.

Dm in the other hand will be alone in a big three bed house and is complaining she wants her house 'tidy' for Xmas (by 'tidy' she just means no rabbit as house is spotless except for one room where dsis has stored furniture for 2.5 years)

AIBU to just say no? If we don't actually take him home she has no way of getting him back to ours herself and I'm annoyed as we had agreed she would have him till the house was ready?

OP posts:
WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/11/2015 14:36

In my own time I'm not about to cancel pre arranged spots in the next fortnight just to help dm out

How is it helping her out?? Surely it's just putting her back in the position she was in before she helped you out?
My dad often helps us out by having our dog for a few days. If he couldn't do it, or offered and then changed his mind, I would make other arrangements. Because it's his house and he's allowed to decide whether our dog is there or not.

TheOnlyColditz · 30/11/2015 14:36

Yes. Cancel all those things, which you clearly don't have time to do, and go and get the pet rabbit you have burdened your mother with.

If you'd left an unwanted rabbit with me, I'd have eaten it, so consider yourself lucky to have a mother who gave you plenty of notice.

Enjolrass · 30/11/2015 14:36

Clicked her fingers?

She gave you til Christmas

LaContessaDiPlump · 30/11/2015 14:38

It sounds like the op is dealing with a lot at the moment (doctor appointments, house renovation) and is having a bit of an emotional reaction to the fact that the rabbit-sitting arrangement has unexpectedly been overturned. Once she has recovered from that emotional response, I'm sure she will leap into action with speed and sort it all out. Won't you, op?

IME it feels like having a mountain loaded onto you when someone adds yet another job to the pile (esp one you weren't expecting), but the weight of that mountain rapidly falls when you're a bit less stressed and more ready to deal with it as it were.

IMO it's not unreasonable to feel a bit blindsided when a person who agreed to take care of your pet indefinitely suddenly decides that they won't do it anymore and demands for you to remove it ASAP......

Rishaar · 30/11/2015 14:38

Always the way... You do someone a favour and end up being the bad guy!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 30/11/2015 14:40

Of course you can't just 'say no'! Shock You can't just refuse to pick up your pet because it doesn't suit you. Do that and I think you seriously risk bunny being taken to Pets at Home for adoption by your mother.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:41

I'll take it before Christmas but I will not be moving any of dc spots just to speed things up for dm

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:42

Sorry phone keeps changing appt to spots

OP posts:
Notimefortossers · 30/11/2015 14:47

I think you're getting an unnecessarily harsh time OP Flowers

I agree that you would be unreasonable not to take him back, but your DM hasn't asked you to come get him immediately. She's said by Christmas. So you have time to sort something out. You don't have to rush right over there and get him.

I have 3 DC, soon to be 4 and I never stop crazy running around and juggling things, so I get how hard it would be to just drop everything and run right over there.

Take a chill pill OP and everyone else

spritefairy · 30/11/2015 14:47

So are you saying I should cancel the following in order to get the rabbit out of dm house quicker ?

Physio appt today
Camhs and Xmas concert tomorrow
Gp wed
Gp thu
Consultant appt dd next week
Ds pre op appt the following day
Plus all the usual school run stuff etc?

I'll do the playroom. I'll take him home before Xmas but there's no way as much as I love him that I'll put a rabbit before my dcs*

How will those jobs take all day?
I take my DD to nursery, been to the doctors, picked up your prescription, done a bit of shopping, fed my ds, done all housework and still found time to sit around doing nothing. I also have a bad back, don't drive and ds is 9 months

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:47

I sympathise with your predicament. However, if you are so pressed with arrangements, how on earth are you able to find the time to entertain more people at Christmas?

If you are reluctant to accommodate your own pet, why on earth did you have him in the first place? And if you can't manage to look after him and would prefer to put Christmas guests before his welfare and the goodwill of your mother, then get him rehomed, to someone who will actually love and appreciate him.

Your DM hasn't 'clicked her fingers' from what I have read. What I have read is that you are being difficult and demanding.

With the rabbit out of the house we just though go for it. Had a couple of hold ups and it was all meant to be done and finished but now I think it may just be done in time but literally last min the and I didn't want to be rushing around 23/24 dec picking up a rabbit when dh is working up till 24 and da has hospital that day

And your post above ^ compounds my theory! 'With the rabbit out of the house we just though(t) go for it. I didn't want to be rushing around picking up A rabbit'. Hmm Not 'our' rabbit or 'my' rabbit just A rabbit. And with the rabbit out of the house - okay, just dump on Mum, while we have a lovely time.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 30/11/2015 14:48

You do realise it's not speeding things up for your mum? It's collecting your own pet. She's given you almost a month. Stop complaining. The amount of time you've spent posting here, making excuses would have been enough to start clearing a playroom. I honestly think that we've not had quite the full truth from you on this but at least you admit YABU and will remove the rabbit.

Agrestic · 30/11/2015 14:51

I also sympathise but op he's your bunny. Stop calling him it, sort the playroom out and go and get him. You can do it all tonight if you stop making excuses.

Viviennemary · 30/11/2015 14:52

Of course you should take your pet back. Your Mum was very good to have it in the first place never mind for an extended stay. Put the rabbit in a pet kennel. I'm sure there will be some who cater for rabbits. I agree with your pet your responsibility. YABU totally. Your Mum must be a saint.

Wagglebees · 30/11/2015 14:53

I looked after a friend's rabbit. It was a lovely little thing and I didn't mind having him for the week but I rabbits take a lot more care than I'd realised. Maybe your DM has realised this too. Perhaps she was expecting it to be like having a hamster when it's more like having a cat or some larger animal.

Rabbits need attention, regular exercise, routine, they do smell even when cleaned out very regularly, they're messy and their cages/runs take up a lot of space. Very entertaining and intelligent animals and make a great pet if you've chosen to have one but your DM hasn't chosen to have a rabbit and yet here she is with one for months.

poocatcherchampion · 30/11/2015 14:58

But if you /dh are over there the whole time to feed or clean it then it is no big deal to just bring it home - and you will have time freed up once you are not doing that repeatedly. Agree a time in a week or so and get on with it.

You seem on a real downer about the whole thing..?

Rishaar · 30/11/2015 15:00

What really makes me chuckle is OP has been replying throughout the last 3 hours, while complaining she hasn't got any time to get sorted Grin

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 15:02

I've been sitting in the hydrotherapy pool waiting room I can't exactly tidy playroom from there and now on way back

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 15:02

Glad it made you chuckle though .....

OP posts:
MuddhaOfSuburbia · 30/11/2015 15:02

if my kids ever want me to look after their pets while they get shit done, I will

I like my kids and I like animals- and I know how shit having work done is, round a family and pets

just sayin

Arfarfanarf · 30/11/2015 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 15:13

Yes I phrased it wrong I just wasn't expecting her to want him gone just yet

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 30/11/2015 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 15:40

I'm considering changing storage unit to the next one up so we can put all our stuff in there . I will check if they have any available

OP posts:
PurpleHairAndPearls · 30/11/2015 16:14

Surely you would save time going over there twice a day to feed him, plus mucking out? Can't that time be used to tidy, you literally need to move some stuff from a couple of feet of space first to put him in.

December is the busiest month I know, I am disabled and DC have SN so believe me I know what it's like, but you really don't want to give your mother the moral high ground here. She has done you a favour, she wants to stop, you can't insist on people helping you unfortunately, no matey how busy you are.

Just go and get the rabbit, it will simplify your life.

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