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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take our pet back home

242 replies

Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 12:01

We have been having a huge amount of work done in the house for the last few months.

A few weeks ago (when it was very disruptive/dusty/noisy) we asked dm if she would mind having our rabbit till the work is finished. She agreed. He has a big indoor cage and an outside run. Dh dropped it all round to dm

I go there after school drop off to feed him and dh goes through clean litter tray etc when it needs doing. At weekend dm feeds him.

The work is nowhere near finished and our house is an absolute tip atm
Dm has declared today the rabbit has to be gone by Christmas ??? She knows we are nowhere near completion of the work and that we have a house full at Xmas.

Dm in the other hand will be alone in a big three bed house and is complaining she wants her house 'tidy' for Xmas (by 'tidy' she just means no rabbit as house is spotless except for one room where dsis has stored furniture for 2.5 years)

AIBU to just say no? If we don't actually take him home she has no way of getting him back to ours herself and I'm annoyed as we had agreed she would have him till the house was ready?

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 30/11/2015 13:53

Well everyone thinks Yabu so just take the pet back or organise th boarding job done and no need tout the rabbit to sleep which is the third option.

MyCatColin · 30/11/2015 13:55

Did you miss the bit where I've said I will try and sort the playroom out for the rabbit to return home ?

Yes I did actually but seriously op if you mother doesn't want him there then you have to do whatever necessary to keep the rabbit happy, so if you can sort playroom then do. If you can't then boarding him would be the better option just until you manage to sort yourselves out.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/11/2015 13:56

Look into rabbit boarding. We used to send ours to a boarding facility whenever we went on holiday as we didn't have any relatives able/willing to look after an indoor rabbit, and she was our responsibility, no one elses. It was lovely and from memory cost us about £20 for a 2 week holiday.

spritefairy · 30/11/2015 13:57

Ok I see what's going on here

Your mum is being totally unreasonable. Of course she should take care of your bunny in her huge 3 bed house that she has to herself. She should understand you NEED to put the tree up and is totally selfish to demand you take your rabbit back while your house is such a mess!

Better??

In all reality, you need to collect him. Either make room or board him. Those are your options. That is it.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 13:58

Ill look into boarding for the future , holidays etc

I really didn't realise it was an option for smaller pets

OP posts:
AskingForAPal · 30/11/2015 13:58

Aww, I was all set to say how unreasonable you are being (and you are, and I think you know it now) but you clearly love and miss the rabbit, and will make it work, and it's all just a bit horrible because of the difficult relationship with your mother anyway.

Good luck with it!

Side note - people with pets often underestimate how much of a massive pain that pet can be to people who've agreed to temporarily look after it out of the goodness of their hearts. (And I say that as a lifelong pet haver/lover.)

Your elderly dog or cat that "just occasionally has an accident, poor thing, but is a good boy really", for example, can be a floor-ruining, house-wrecking nightmare to those on whom it's been foisted.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 13:59

Did you miss the bit where I've said I will try and sort the playroom out for the rabbit to return home?

I didn't miss that. I particularly didn't miss the 'I will try and sort the playroom.

What happens to the rabbit if you don't succeed with your 'trying'?

Will your Mum still be lumbered with YOUR rabbit that she doesn't want, or will you sort out boarding. You will have to deal with the potential boarding issue very soon, BTW, as those places will be all booked up for Christmas.

Janeymoo50 · 30/11/2015 13:59

The answer lies in the fourth word of your post title. You are taking advantage I think.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:04

I can't say I will definitely 100% sort the playroom out immediately. I'm going to have to see where I can move things to etc

Dm may have to wait a few days till its ready and then we can take rabbit home. It's not just a case of doing it now, I'm not at home today so will have to sort it out when I can

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 30/11/2015 14:05

Remove the rabbit from your mother's house, then take a savage delight in not relying on her for ANYTHING for the next few years months. If she wants to be awkward, let her reap the reward.

I bet she gets upset when she realises that you don't need her as much.....

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:09

Dm may have to wait a few days till its ready

Really? Confused

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:11

Why can you not just cancel your extended Christmas guest list? I honestly don't understand why they are more important than your own pet.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:13

Yes. Not because I'm being difficult but because I need time to clear a space for him and then try and find a time when dh can go and collect him (he's working extended hours at the moment) so if she really wants him gone she's going to have to wait till we can put everything in place it won't be immediate

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:15

They are not more important? They are not staying overnight so not taking up any space the rabbit could have used

I have said I will try to sort the playroom out for him. Hopefully that'll be ok.
I was just anxious as the work will possibly be done at last minute then it's more cleaning and tidying and I do have a habit of storing too much stuff so need to sort that out so the rabbit can have his space back which is currently not in use as is full

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:17

It would take a couple of days (at most) to clear a space. You have three weeks or more to organise this.

LOOK INTO BOARDING.

Why are you saying things like "If she wants him gone"? You asked her in the first place - that little rabbit is your responsibility. You are posting as though you are doing your Mum a favour by taking YOUR rabbit off her hands, when you don't appear to realise that your Mum has been doing you a favour by looking after YOUR rabbit for all these weeks.

TheLambShankRedemption · 30/11/2015 14:19

I I I I I I I I I

Me Me Me Me Me Me

is all I'm reading.

Pick your rabbit up before Christmas and give her a thank you gift. She has done - and is still doing - you a favour no matter how annoying you say she is; she's given you a fair amount of notice too. Honestly. YABU.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:20

Actually, looking at your username TeenageCrisisAgain - are you actually a teenager looking for help because your Mum or Dad are behaving badly and you do want your rabbit home for Christmas?

Serious question.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:20

I will clear a space. In my own time I'm not about to cancel pre arranged spots in the next fortnight just to help dm out
I'll sort the playroom and we will take him home at a time convenient to us. Yes it'll be before Xmas but not ASAP. She's sprung this on us after previously being ok with it all so I'm not changing my plans on her say so

Iam a little concerned about him getting cold by the back door and the dust etc but hopefully it won't do any harm. He didn't like noise though so I'll have to see how he goes

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:21

*appts

OP posts:
Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:21

No I'm not a teenager! My eldest is 14 it was in reference to her recently

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/11/2015 14:23

I'm not about to cancel pre arranged spots in the next fortnight just to help dm out

Aaarrrggghhh - are you actually understanding what you are writing?
Your Mum has helped YOU out by looking after YOUR pet.

Unbelievable. I can't say any more. I have work to do. Poor rabbit, poor Mum.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:25

So are you saying I should cancel the following in order to get the rabbit out of dm house quicker ?

Physio appt today
Camhs and Xmas concert tomorrow
Gp wed
Gp thu
Consultant appt dd next week
Ds pre op appt the following day
Plus all the usual school run stuff etc?

I'll do the playroom. I'll take him home before Xmas but there's no way as much as I love him that I'll put a rabbit before my dcs

OP posts:
Sequine · 30/11/2015 14:29

Take your rabbit home. It's not fair to burden your mum with it.

I used to bring my rabbits inside in cold weather. All rabbits smell (even if you can't smell it!) and a warm house brings out the smell more. Also they are noisy, they scratch and thump and make a racket playing with toys or drinking from bottle. And they kick bedding out of the cage. Hay alone creates dust. Mine also used to spray wee out of their cage!!

futureme · 30/11/2015 14:30

How long does it take to clear a space? An appointment in the day doesn't mean you can't spend a couple of hours clearing. Why not do it now! If you have a playroom just clear space big enough for the cage even if that means piling some bits in a corner.

I'm amazed you can't see how unreasonable you are being towards your mother. Try and get it asap. It sounds like you're intentionally delaying to irritate your mother.

Original poster
Teenagecrisisagain · 30/11/2015 14:33

I don't drive so appt a take up a fair amount of time. Been out at physio most of day as dcs had hydrotherapy so haven't got anything done today at all

I'll do a bit tonight and see how I get on. I'm not being deliberately obstructive but I certainly won't be killing myself to get it done ASAP just because dm has clicked her fingers

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