AIBU to find this term offensive

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

A colleague at work in reference to someone sitting down relaxing in a chair said "he's monging out"she was surprised when I said I was offended by the term and that it was disabilist.
What is your definitions of the term mong.

Wow. Words really do hurt most people though. Is it so hard to not use words that you know are offensive and hurtful to others?

You don't see how it would hurt that people online are calling the Isis attackers "retarded". And calling people with racist views "retarded"

I once wrote to the BBC to complain about a report showing a politician calling the BNP "nutters", with nobody acting like there was anything wrong with it. I got an email back telling me that they were sorry if I was offended on behalf of the BNP!

Innocent use of offensive words can't be condemned in DCs who genuinely don't know what they mean.

DS1 (aged 6) called DS2 a spaz. I asked if he knew what it meant and he thought it was a swear word meaning a stupid person. I told him what it meant and he hasn't used it since, like most reasonable people.

I only heard of retard as a noun in American TV programmes, it wasn't widely used here years ago. I can remember reading or hearing about a car's progress being retarded - meaning impeded - I think that is another meaning, isn't it?

I wouldn't used it to describe a person - who would?

You used to have to advance and retard the ignition on cars to get them to start. And there used to be a delayed-release painkiller called Voltarol Retard. But I havent heard it used by any Brit about a person in recent years.

Sadly, flid has made a come back in my area.

I have heard many teens say it. Even my son. And yes, I told him what it meant and he did apologise and swear not to use it again.

Spaz is still in common usage in US TV and had heard it in Neighbours FFS until recently.

I grew up with a sibling with CP in the 70s............spazzing has very specific connotations and is horrible.

God, just accept some words offend and move on you naysayers!

I've not heard that in years (probably secondary school 15 years ago!) but yes I would take it to be short for Mongol :(

"I only heard of retard as a noun in American TV programmes, it wasn't widely used here years ago. I can remember reading or hearing about a car's progress being retarded - meaning impeded - I think that is another meaning, isn't it?"
The word comes from the French "retarder" which means slow. Therefore to retard something means to slow it down. Which is why it started being used as a diagnosis to describe people who were "mentally slow", and, as those words so often do, it became an insult from there.
So it's in a very basic sense the same meaning, but with very different context and connotation.

spaz and spag not heard them in a long time thankfully. In leics there's a charity called Menphys for children with special needs- so 'Menphy' was the insult of choice for some during high school too :(

It brings out the worst in people, this stuff.

I haven't read the middle pages of this thread, so I can cling to the hope it hasn't happened here yet, but it's rather arrogant when people plough ahead using very upsetting words just because they

ignore the actual meanings of words and decide they can make the whole world delete the horrible meaning just because they themselves don't happen to be aware of it.

Sorry pressed sent by accident!

I was going to add that as a disabled person, it's not for other people to tell me that certain words are no longer offensive. If you've never been shouted at in the street when you can't get away from them, or had a group of kids laughing at you whilst calling these names as you try not to cry and give them more to scare and hurt you with , "Spaz, cripple, fucking mong" complete with the pulled faces and nurrr noises... Then I don't think you get to say 'oh but I didn't mean it like that', as, well, other people clearly do. It doesn't matter that these words aren't even accurately applied, as the degrading humiliation carried in the insults still makes its mark. I'm not sure if it's better or worse to be called a spastic bitch (inaccurate), or a fucking cripple (all too accurate). Both have the effect of marking me out as different, defective, and a lower type of human than others.

I would politely suggest not using words that others use to hurt or degrade people. Or if you do decide to use those words, don't be surprised when people believe you too use them to cause hurt and suffering, as that's what they mean.

If you find it offensive then YANBU. It doesn't bother me.

I'm really sorry that happens to you MiscellaneousAssortment :(
Wtf is wrong with people?

Words aren't just words, they influence and shape our attitudes to the world. Using dehumanising words about any group of humans helps to make them 'other' and directly contributes to abuse and degradation.

It was used commonly in the late Nineties and early 2000s to mean relaxing.

Language does evolve and it can cause difficulties between generations or regions because the intention of message and the received communication don't always work where a word is in flux. Sadly, it is not always possible for a younger person to know the older meaning of a word when they have only heard it used in one context.

Some other examples are in this link for anyone who is interested. For example, the word 'nice' used to be an insult.

blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/10/change-in-word-meanings/

It is absolutely fine not to know that a particular word gives offence. What is not fine is carrying on using it once you do know. It's quite simple really!

Oh Miscellaneous that's horrific that people have treated you that way
I think that once you know something is offensive you immediately stop using that word. Why would anyone want to persevere using it knowing the hurt it can cause, all in the name of arrogance?

I've never heard it commonly used to describe relaxing and I was quite young in the late 90s!

I'm 37 too. I'll ask my 14 yo when he comes in.....

Actually I'm not, I'm a year older as I've just had a birthday

I once wrote to the BBC to complain about a report showing a politician calling the BNP "nutters", with nobody acting like there was anything wrong with it.

If words genuinely cause offense, then I would not want to use them.... but at the same time I don't think the capacity for many of us to become offended is healthy. The pattern seems to be:

1. A word is used to describe factually a member of a disadvantaged group. It's generally accepted as reasonable and not derogatory

2. Bullies and other mean spirited individuals appropriate the word, shorten or adapt it into the word they use designed to cause offense

3. The majority who don't want to cause offense recoil from the word and another is chosen

4. Over time, perhaps a generation or two, the word, and its abusive counterparts, falls out of common usage and either dies or morphs into something else.

My issue is when a word does morph into something with a very different emphasis and no discernable link to the offensive (or the original) meaning, I don't see why it can't be rehabilitated.

I accept 'monging' clearly does cause offense, and given that mong has been used relatively recently as a term of abuse then fair enough, it shouldn't be used... but 'nutter'.... really? I would have put that in the same category as 'sod off'. Whereas a level of sensitivity regarding language is reasonable, I don't see what's to be gained by developing an ever-expanding list of taboo words just because they may have been used in an offensive context generations ago by some people.

In relation to this, is there a word that can be used as a synonym for 'nutter' that couldn't be deemed 'offensive', if we're determined to search out the source of every word and how it may have been applied by bullies, or by general society in a less enlightened age?