AIBU to find this term offensive

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

A colleague at work in reference to someone sitting down relaxing in a chair said "he's monging out"she was surprised when I said I was offended by the term and that it was disabilist.
What is your definitions of the term mong.

So, flash, monging out to mean behaving in a dazed and dopey way isn't offensive to people with Down's syndrome, when that's where the phrase came from?

Ok, I see your point, and the link between being lazy and that someone with Down's may be offensively be regarded as behaving I'm a lazy way due the nature of their syndrome.

I didn't see that link before as I have never thought of laziness being an attribute the some people might associate with Down's (though now it's pointed out to me it seems clear) I will therefore desist in using 'monging'.

Mary give up. mn has been taken over by wind up merchants

It's exactly as offensive as the equivalently disablist terms spaz/spazzing referring to spastic which was previously used to describe people with cerebral palsy.

Very.

Flashbangandgone wow could you be more offensive

they knew what words would hurt. don't pretend that young people don't know... they do. and dont think words don't hurt cos they do

Of course they hurt, if someone is using the word deliberately and offensively knowing full well what it means, whether there's someone with Down's Syndrome around or not.

If someone uses it knowing only one meaning (chilling out etc) then they are not intending to be hurtful. If they do it in your hearing, educate them. But only castigate them if they do it again. Anyone who uses it unknowingly deserves one chance.

Well done for coming back and admitting you were wrong flash

At last the penny drops. I'm glad you can see it now.

I actually defend those that have never known mong or monging out as an offensive term. You can't compare it to calling someone a retard, a paki or a nigger. Everyone knows these are offensive words, they have been for along long time.

I only know the term mongoloid because my dm (rip) grew up around the time children with down syndrome were sent away to homes because it was shameful to have a child with ds.
My dsis has a child with ds and when she was born my dm almost had a breakdown, to her this was a death sentence. When she was growing up it was the worst thing that a child could be born with.
Sorry off point. My dm never knew that mongoloid was an offensive term until I pointed it out to her.

I'm in my 20s. I've never heard "monging out" but throughout the first half of my life I heard "mong" used as an insult regularly. My mum, who worked with many children with Down's syndrome and other disabilities would never allow disablist language used around her. However, as someone with AS who had disablist slurs used for using the facilities for disabled pupils, that still hears them today, I'm definitely not prepared to accept "words change meaning". Yes they do, but disabled kids are still being called names and making excuses for why you're not part of the problem by using these words certainly isn't helping.

wow this thread is the gift that keeps giving

It is offensive, yes, but I can believe that people may genuinely not know its meaning. Often language, especially slang, is learned from those around you, and you infer a meaning from its context. Eg if someone uses "monging around" in a " slobbing around" context, you might reasonably infer they were synonymous, especially if the term Mongol or mongoloid for DS hasn't been used since before you were born. Obviously, once educated you would no longer use it, but I don't think you can assume people are deliberately using it hurtfully.

Until MN I had inferred that "twat" was the northern form of "twit" and used it synonymously...

My son has cerebal palsy and was once called a spastic. It was by a friend of his who knew he had CP, and called him a spastic because he had fucked up on a PS game. DS said that yes he was, did his mate know where the word came from? And his mate was absolutely mortified, genuinely upset, as he hadnt known, he just thought it was like pillock or wanker. He has never said it again.

Thats why I said younger people may very well not know, and when they find out, are embarrassed and dont use it again. I prefer to educate than condemn if I think the person genuinely didnt know.

"it's exhausting all this education."
I agree thats why I wish MN HQ would shut stuff like this down. its same old same old.

It's the fact I never associated the word 'monging' (I.e chilling out and relaxing) as having any link with Down's that lay behind my posts... However I can see that those who are used to the term 'mong' or similar being used as an insult for someone with Downs struggled with that, so I won't use in future.

Apologies for any offense caused. I was genuinely not trolling, just exploring why a word that clearly meant something very different to me (ie nothing to do with downs at all) couldn't continue to be used in a way based on that way,
But as i wrote I will use it no longer

thanks flash

I agree Maryz but hopefully as the generations move on, there will be less and less of them.

A related thought - wondering why it is still acceptable to use the word 'Bastard'. It is a derogatory term for people born out of wedlock, previously a shameful status. Now these people are viewed completely equally to everyone else, but the term persists to be acceptable (well, as acceptable as other common swear words) Why?
Also calling something 'gay' (meaning rubbish) is unnaceptable, but calling someone a 'sod' is (more) acceptable. Enlighten me!

maryz my Mam didn't know mongoloid was offensive that was my whole point. She wasn't using it as an insult. She genuinely didn't know mongoloid was offensive. Yes I agree if a teenager or anyone for that matter knows that spaz ,(although when I was a teenager it was spa) mong, retard is used as an insult then they are a cunt! We can't all know everything all of the time

WiIdfire
no
because as far as I am aware there is hate crime against people who have un married parents these days.....but disabled people....(thanks Scameron) its allowed.(my family have suffered through disabilty hate crime)

What samcro said. If you actually tried to insult somebody for having unmarried parents, well, they'd just look at you as if you had two heads. It's not something that bothers people anymore.