AIBU to find this term offensive

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

A colleague at work in reference to someone sitting down relaxing in a chair said "he's monging out"she was surprised when I said I was offended by the term and that it was disabilist.
What is your definitions of the term mong.

If it wasn't for mn I wouldn't be aware of the offensive roots. I thought it jusrt meant chilling out/relaxing often when high. I don't think many people who use it mean it offensively or are aware of what it means.

Honestly, for me, with words like nutcase as an example, it depends hugely on intent,

Intent is everything. There are some words that are universally recognised as highly offensive, and therefore using them automatically signals the user is being intentionally hurtful. Many others less so.... I think people ABU to be offended by a word when there's genuinely no intent to offend, thus creating this long list of taboo words that the general population uses innocently. It's a shame IMO there's not more tolerance for the evolution of the word mongoloid into monging (used to mean relax with no intention of offense or awareness of origin) as if allowed to embed into vocabulary in this way, it would usurp the old meaning relegating it to history as it should be - it would be a missed opportunity as those rightly concerned about stigmatising those with Downs inadvertently keep the offensive use of the term mong alive.

Flash I really think you've learned nothing from this thread

Iggi. I think I have. I've learned that monging is offensive to many so I therefore would no longer use it.

I just think some people's capacity to be offended is counter-productive. Bullies love to needle and find weak spots... The more potentially offensive words can be neutralised the less potential bullies have.

I think some people seem to be offended that others are less offended at a word they find offensive.... It's as though their support for a disadvantaged group is measured by the amount of offence that is taken at certain words. For instance, by calling out nutter and bonkers as offensive they are in the vanguard of promoting the interests of those who are mentally ill more than those who are more relaxed about it... And I write here as someone who has experienced mental illness personally and in my family and friends, who absolutely believes that mental health is a very important issue that society should take more seriously.

I agree that the issue is that 'monging out' has reached the stage of being partially evolved to the stage whereby a large number of people have no idea of the original definition and no intention to insinuate anything negative about disability. We can see other words that have fully evolved to the point that it seems ridiculous to call offence at their original definition. At some point there is going to be an uncomfortable split, which will be even more pronounced and jarring in this time of internet communication.

I am not suggesting that it is correct to continue to use a word that you discover to be upsetting, but I do think it should be a mitigating factor in the offence taken that the word may well have developed a new meaning.

do people not realise that most likely that "spastic society" changed their name more to do with the fact that people are not spastics now. it is not used as a stand alone dx anymore. you can have spastic CP or other forms of CP with spastic tendencies..but won't just have it by its self. saying that even the other terms of CP have changed other the years. my child was dx'd with one kind and now years later that is called something else(yep I am confused too)
yet the ignorant bullies still call my child a spaz. my child can't speak or even stand. so I have to speak and stand up for them against the bullies.

charities often change names to keep up, St Dunstans for instance is now now called Blind Veterans UK, I am sure there are others too.

these threads are so annoying, why the fuck can't people accept that some terms are wrong. mong being one of them. just because some people choose to still use them, doesn't make it right....or can we all say nigger now?? (of course not)

Intent is not everything. Perception is important too.

I know that it's really, really easy not to be aware of the connotations of a word. I've done it myself.

However, the right response is surely not to lash out at the person who gently points that out, but to apologise and learn?

I think part of the problem is that there is this kind of leaping on people who misuse a word, and treating it as if it is an eternal sign of their evilness. If it's a really, really objectionable word that no-one could mistake (e.g. the n-word) then perhaps it is an indicator of character - but in other cases, as the start of this thread showed, it can be a mistake or a very genuine lack of awareness. It's still not 'right' and it still needs sorting out, and people absolutely should speak up in those circumstances. But I think there are ways of doing it that lead to understanding, engagement and compassion and ways that lead to defensiveness and maybe even entrench the behaviour.

Everyone should just be kind .

ducks hail of missiles from vipers

I heard the term Mongol used to describe people with Down's syndrome regularly in the 1980s, I wouldn't connect Mong with it now though.

I just think some people's capacity to be offended is counter-productive. Bullies love to needle and find weak spots... The more potentially offensive words can be neutralised the less potential bullies have.

People who are easy targets will be easy targets regardless of words used. Words are rarely used to bully people anyway. It's more of a constant chipping away to get under their skin and playing passive aggressive games to upset them. Not blatantly saying offensive words.

I've called people different things before, and no one kept pushing the point to get a reaction, because I have good social skills and didn't put them in a defensive position. A playful "That's sexist/mean! You dork!" with a light smack to the chest is all that's needed. They laugh, I laugh, the word or phrase is never used again.

Words have meaning, but taking away meaning doesn't change that bullies will find other ways to not so subtly imply you are lesser.

Samcro, my daughter was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, hemi and something else, at the grand old age of fifteen and I'm so confused it's happened that I haven't asked anyone anything about it :o

When people pull me up on stuff and I'm wrong I feel really upset I've upset other people. I do have a tendency to be defensive first and then rational after. I think the vast majority of people don't want to upset others, especially people much more vulnerable than them.

There are bullies in all walks of life, the narcissists. You can't change them them, but you can learn to avoid them, some times no point arguing with them. Pity them instead

just because some people choose to still use them, doesn't make it right....or can we all say nigger now?? (of course not)

Not the same. Nigger is still in general use as a major insult so everyone knows the context. And unlike mong it hasn't acquired another meaning which to many people is completely innocent and innocuous.

I thought being monged out was like being stoned

Where the fuck do people think the word mong actually came from?
I mean really it must have come from somewhere
That somewhere is from mongoloid features which was used to describe people with downs. Syndrome

YANBU

It is also offensive to Mongolians (the phrase came about because Mr Downs thought Mongolians' 'mongoloid' features resembled people with Downs.

It is also offensive to Mongolians (the phrase came about because Mr Downs thought Mongolians' 'mongoloid' features resembled people with Downs.

Now that's an interesting twist... Is it unreasonable for a Mongolian to be offended to have said to have a facial resemblance to those with Downs, and if so, why? Isn't finding it offensive to be compared to someone with disability implying that disabled people are less worthy?

Where the fuck do people think the word mong actually came from?

I suppose you know the source of every word! Some on here made a guess at 'mongrel'... Incorrect perhaps, but not unreasonable guess and shows the extent to which the word seems to have evolved.

@Flash

I take your point, but given that Dr Down's description for people with Downs was 'Mongolian idiocy', I can understand why the Mongolians objected to the use of the word mongoloid.

I think it would be offensive even if it weren't a persin with a disability that Mongolians were being compared to - it reduces their characteristics to a flatter than average face shape and some epicanthic folds.

I heard this word being used by a young person today. He will probably still use it, but not in front of me. And maybe it will stick in his mouth a bit the next time he goes to say it.
Don't we all have a responsibility to say ^something, to hopefully/eventually make life a tiny bit better for people with disabilities?