AIBU to find this term offensive

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

A colleague at work in reference to someone sitting down relaxing in a chair said "he's monging out"she was surprised when I said I was offended by the term and that it was disabilist.
What is your definitions of the term mong.

I was wondering if it was along those lines - people born out of wedlock are now so completely and wholely equal with the rest of society that the term has lost its offensive nature. So, hopefully in the future, when disabled, gay and other minorities are so integrated that no-one considers them different, then perhaps some of these terms will make an acceptable come-back.

The evolution of profanity is an interesting subject.

Well, almost completely equal, sorry Maryz.

Oh, and of course the fact that disablist insults are, more often than not, used to attack a disabled person. Bastard is used towards anybody as an insult.

I think this is interesting as certain words have evolved from a specific time. DD, who is disabled, has been bullied quite badly at school. A boy in her class called her a Flid a month ago. I complained to both the teacher and then later the head. Neither seemed to have any idea what the word meant or why I was quite so upset. God knows where this kid heard it (his parents maybe) as I didn't realise it was still in use. But I was genuinely surprised that the staff hasn't heard it and it made me wonder just how much other disablist language is still used unchallenged like that in the playground.

Wow, MrsTodd. That particular insult was in very common usage 40 odd years ago. I really thought it had died out as those damaged by thalidomide have grown older.

I'm the mummy of a 6 yo DS with mental retardation ( yep that one of his diagnosis!) I used to get so het up about retard being used!!!!
Over the years you just give up the fight .... Who cares what other people want to use to diss each other, they would never be describing my son because he is fooking amazing!!!!!!!
I had an argument with a woman who went crazed because Kanye used spaz in his song!!! In the USA it's totally different context !!!!
It's only a bloody word!

yes its just a word.....until its used to hurt your child......then its not.

but if you think spaz is just a word....well...me telling you to fuck off....thats just words

I've known it's meaning since I was a kid, I remember my mum telling my friend why she shouldn't use it after calling my brother it. Friend felt awful.

I know a couple of people who use it as an insult, and they know exactly the meaning of the word, they are arseholes in other ways too.

I'm surprised by how many people didn't know it was offensive on this thread.

"Spaz" does not resonate the same way in the US as it does in the UK; it is more like using the word "idiot." There are a lot of reasons for this, one of which is that "spastic" was never generally used in the US for cerebral palsy as it was in the UK. With more globalized discussion, however, it is becoming less acceptable in the US.

Retard is definitely offensive in the US. I have never hear "mong" or "monging."

Where I live it is used quite a lot to mean chilling I have said it before. I wish I hadn't now I know the origin but I wont use it again. I would be happy for anybody to point out something I might not realize is offensive. It might not be meant offensively but that doesn't mean it should be used.

Flid was a word I heard a lot when I was younger (am 42) but I am pleased to say I havent heard it used in years. Shocking that a young child said it.

That said, my "uncle" (friend of my parents) took great pride in the fact that his eldest grandchilds word was "coon". So it wouldnt surprise me to find that someone taught him to say it deliberately. :(

So you can be offended if I call you a retard but I shouldnt be offended by you calling me a "spaz" Mooma?

Funny how you are only offended when the word relates to your childs disability and not mine isnt it?

Oh wait, not funny. Fucking offensive, thats what I meant!

"eldest grandchilds first word...."

I hate it when people say "it's only words." Words can seriously fucking hurt.

When I was younger, it was used, like Helmet said, as a drug reference. To be 'monged out' was to be 'stoned'. We had no idea then the link to Down's, but I wouldn't use it now. I don't know if the drug reference came from the same word or is an unfortunate coincidence?

"Spaz" does not resonate the same way in the US as it does in the UK; it is more like using the word "idiot." There are a lot of reasons for this, one of which is that "spastic" was never generally used in the US for cerebral palsy as it was in the UK. With more globalized discussion, however, it is becoming less acceptable in the US.

^This.

Growing up in the US, I didn't even learn the origins of spaz until I was well into adulthood. Now I just sort of shy away from it. It's not offensive, but it's not used as much as it used to be either. It's meaning of idiot has been replaced with derpy or derp anyway. Cartoons have cut it out completely in the last 10 years.

But the US had no problem slinging insulting words such as gay, retard, mental quite flippantly. In the 90's the most popular phrase here was "Oh. My. Gawd. You are sooo retarded", now you'd turn heads and get dirty looks. It hasn't been until the last 10 years that those terms were seen as damaging in the first place.

It was never PC, it just wasn't seen as utterly offensive as it is today. Tropic Thunder's "Full retard" quote never would have made it to cinemas if it was made today. Which is a good thing. But lots of offensive words don't really resonate the same way in the US because "shock humor" and one line "zings" where characters insult each other is very popular and still uses sexist/racist/disabilist insults to get laughs. I have a theory that since we're a more physically violent culture we put more stock in our actions instead of our words than the UK, so they don't carry the same weight when you throw an insult, if that makes sense.

'Oriental' is a word that is not used down our way - I have been open-mouthed on more than one occasion to see it freely used on here. Not everyone is clued up, that's for sure.

I was also somewhat aghast to come across the DJ collective many moons ago in my clubbing heyday, called Da Mongaloids. It includes many well known/prominent DJs (Armand Van Helden, Basement Jaxx, Daft Punk, DJ Sneak, Ian Pooley, Junior Sanchez, Laidback Luke, MAW, Roger Sanchez, The Rhythm Masters, Todd Terry) - to this day, I am surprised by the moniker.

"I object strenuously to the word bastard, and try never to use it."
As a bastard, I much prefer that word to "illegitimate" - which literally means "not legal" and which I find rather nasty and insulting.

Actual synonyms of illegitimate, according to the OED: Unauthorized; unsanctioned; fraudulent; misbegotten. Bastard just means bastard.

Using bastard as an insult doesn't bother me either, but that's probably because I honestly don't think there's any sting in it when used in modern context. That's just me though, I understand that others might disagree.

SummerNights I'm the same age as you and we've always known it to be offensive and an insult. No-one I knew used the word in the context you are describing and I went to one of the most deprived schools in the city, yet we were still educated enough to know that it was a word that was off limits as well as the R word and S word already mentioned on this thread.

My cousin (with Downs) is 24 years old and I remember when she was born, someone around 60ish using the word Mong and how the family tore her to shreds for using it.

'Sod off' is an interesting one... Most people probably don't known its origin (I didn't until about 10'years ago), still less use it as a term of abuse for gay people.

Obviously if I called someone a 'sodomite' I would clearly be being offensive (and very weird and archaic).... But although 'sod' in this context has it's roots in sodomise, it's entirely lost its original meaning when used in sod off. Given this, should it be off limits because of it's now forgotten origins?

If it genuinely causes offense then in my view it shouldn't be used despite the lack of any intention on the part of the user, as I recognised (belatedly!) by the reaction on here from the word 'monging' (when innocently used as a synonym for relaxing), but if it didn't cause offense, I'd argue there's nothing wrong in using it simply because it has unpleasant origins that have long since been forgotten.

There is a girl (age 15) at DD's school who freely uses most of the vocabulary highlighted on here.

She is an attention seeking, foul mouthed, aggressive bully who has reduced DD to tears on many occasions, and who is now making veiled threats on Facebook about what she is going to do to DD at a party they have both been invited to.

DD isn't going to this party - she had already decided before she knew that bully girl was going.

If anyone had pointed out to bully girl how offensive it is to call someone by these names she would just laugh in your face.

I love the phrase sod off. I have never ever thought of its origins

*"It's not meant offensively"
*
But it is offensive.

I hate that excuse "I didn't mean to offend / upset / hurt you". It's implying that the person who is upset / hurt / offended has no right to be because it wasn't meant.

Seneca Nope you foul language isn't offensive to me!!!! Say what you want !!!!
I'm not in the USA but I've got better things to stress about than context or terminology of a word!!!! Especial ally when it's used on social media!!!!
I'm coping with a disabled child and you can call him what you like.... He doesn't understand but I do and then I understand your level and I walk away or delete!!!