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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Done to death but.... Fear of motorways...

131 replies

TheMightyMing · 29/11/2015 15:14

I have been driving since 1995 and have never had a accident other than a couple of people crashing into me at low speed. I used to drive anywhere without even thinking. However about 7 years ago I had a minor incident where I broke down on a motorway and ever since have developed a stupid fear of motorway driving and haven't been on one since.
I don't have to use motorways for work which is just as well as the ones by me are always packed- but it's becoming a real pain. My sons school and best friends live 15 minutes away by motorway but the best part of an hour by normal road.
My husband is a policeman and advanced driver and he has offered to come with me but I think it might make me worse. I am not a nervy person otherwise so I don't know why I am so scared.

Any ideas on what I can do?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/11/2015 11:10

Good for you, FC

Ifiwasabadger · 30/11/2015 11:22

that's excellent news! i'm now checking out the same where I live, nothing that seems to fit the bill sadly. i have tried to go out with my husband but i fear it will ending divorce. maybe a good friend instead...please keep us updated!

PoppyAutumnScarlettRuby · 30/11/2015 13:01

Having read this thread I decided to face my fear head on. I avoid motorways where possible having previously broken down one and having my children in the car. The AA are offering free motorway driving courses on completion of an application form. I've completed mine and hopefully I will be offered a course, if not I am definitely going to take a course of some description to help me do this.

Good luck to all those with the same fears Smile

talkinnpeace · 30/11/2015 14:31

Ming
WELL DONE
You came to AIBU digested the advice and picked the best possible outcome.
And yes, your DH getting you it as a Christmas present is an excellent idea as then you'll both remember when you conquered the M40 Grin

Come try the M3 - whole darned thing is at 50mph with the Yellow Peril cameras at the moment Smile

AnyFucker · 30/11/2015 15:13

Best of luck, Poppy

Original poster
TheMightyMing · 30/11/2015 15:45

Thanks again for all the comments - I am quite excited now it was in my to do list! I will get back on the m6 again !!!

OP posts:
Girlfriend36 · 30/11/2015 17:51

Well done Ming Smile I think at some point I will just bite the bullet and do it, I am having counselling for general anxiety but I actually think you just have to force yourself into these situations sometimes!

Good luck to all fellow scaredy drivers!!

bbcessex · 30/11/2015 20:06

Well done Ming and well done ForCh1na...bloody brilliant.

There is a HUGE difference between being a bad driver and having anxiety about it.

I thought about you all as I was on the road for 4 hours today there and 3 hours back. For 10 years I wouldn't have been able to get down the slip road, now I love driving again. It really is possible.

Keep driving, drivers BrewCakeBrewCake

hiccupgirl · 30/11/2015 22:01

Well done Ming and everyone else who's been inspired on here.

I'm hoping counselling makes a difference to me but will do some motorway lessons as well - I'm thinking I could ask for them for my birthday next year which gives the counselling some time first.

I really miss just jumping in the car and going out without worrying about how to get there.

hiccupgirl · 30/11/2015 22:06

And a big thanks to bbcessex for all the encouragement Grin

shinynewusername · 01/12/2015 08:12

Good luck everyone. I drove down the M1 in the driving rain yesterday and I was fine. 3 years ago I would have been a gibbering wreck. Hang in there.

bbcessex · 01/12/2015 10:21

Thanks hiccupgirl. good luck to you, you will solve it.

There are so many people who have issues with various things and think "oh well, that's just my life now". It's those of us who don't give in and keep trying that make the changes :-)

Shinynewusername excellent post Grin here's to more driving in the rain and enjoying it!!!!

PoppyAutumnScarlettRuby · 14/12/2015 16:33

I did my motorway course today for two hours along the M6. I certainly feel a lot more confident and plan to do a few short journeys alone to build on the progress I've made today.

Good luck to everyone else Grin

hollinhurst84 · 14/12/2015 16:44

Motorways for me - fine. Did Lancaster to Newbury without batting an eyelid
Town centres that I don't know? Petrifying Grin
I have a huge thing about Manchester city centre particularly

Loulou87 · 14/12/2015 23:30

I've never minded motorway's till last week when I had to drive home from DS's (10) football teams Christmas party.
Was on the M18 and the wind was terrible I was trying to stay calm so DS didn't get scared, but could feel the wind hitting the car and we were only doing around 30 mph along with the rest of the traffic, it's put me off them now.

Waxlyrically · 15/12/2015 00:06

I'm the same as you hollin terrible with town centres I don't know. I study them on google obsessively before my journey and sometimes chicken out and get a train. Inspired by this thread though and the brave people tackling their fears in a positive way. I wonder if advanced driving would help with my driving fear.

Original poster
TheMightyMing · 01/07/2016 23:25

I'm waking up a zombie thread with a positive post.

I'm doing the advanced driving course, started it a while back. It's been brilliant! I've had to spread it out over a few months due to commitments, but I'm driving on country roads, motorways and everything! I'm reverse parking and generally much more confident.

The men who volunteer at my local IAM have been fantastic . They are very much 'men of a certain age' who live and breathe the advanced driving thing, but they have been amazingly patient and encouraging . I feel like my general driving has improved as well.

Not sure if every group is a good as our local one, but for any other nervous drivers I can highly recommend. I'm looking forward to taking the advanced driver challenge in due course, but I'm in no hurry to do so.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/07/2016 23:32

Yay Smile

Original poster
TheMightyMing · 02/07/2016 00:06

Aw AF bless ya! How's the driving with you? My hero (ine) :)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/07/2016 07:32

Same Sad

I think driving on motorways is something I am never going to be completely comfortable with. I can live with that.

Savagebeauty · 02/07/2016 07:41

I have never driven on a motorway as I simply don't need to. But regularly go on a major dual carriageway and can happily do 70 miles an hour.
It took me a long time to get over the slip road panic, but I forced myself to go out at quiet times and do it.
I tell you what freaks me out and makes me sweat....driving on country roads at night with no street lights or houses visible. I did the Chichester to A3 drive at night and was gripping the steering wheel like a demented woman.

heron98 · 02/07/2016 07:43

The only way to get over it - is to do it.

I was the same - avoided motorways at all costs until I realised that it was stopping me going anywhere and I was being a pathetic twat.

I took the plunge and did it and after a while it was fine.

I still don't like slip roads and I hate big roundabouts between motorways but I just have to man up and do them.

Original poster
TheMightyMing · 02/07/2016 08:56

Yes I don't like getting on and off but I'm getting there. But anyway , would definitely recommend the IAM courses as a starting point. It's been literally life changing for me and the best £140 I ever spent.

OP posts:
LunaLoveg00d · 02/07/2016 09:06

Completely disagree with the advice that people who are terrified of being on the motorway should just get out there and do it. If they're that petrified, they are a danger to the rest of us who are more than comfortable whizzing along at 70 and a bit. We've all seen the person crawling along at 30mph in the inside lane being overtaken by HGVs and that sort of hesitant, unsure and unpredictable driving is what causes accidents.

What's needed is proper driving lessons with an instructor who can assess driving ability and then help with the practicalities of driving on motorways. A dual control car may also help nervous people feel more secure. But please don't just go out there and do it.

Dozer · 02/07/2016 09:12

That's great MightyMing!