Bossy Teaching assistant daughter in year 6 forced into social group

[Brighteyes27]

My DD is in year 6 she is bright, creative and lovely natured but she does have dyslexia and struggles a little with literacy. She works hard and attends a large primary school. Her school stream the children for literacy and maths. Anyway she is at the top of the middle set for maths and at the top of the bottom set for literacy. Tonight she came home upset as a bossy teaching assistant (who is there to supposedly support a boy with Aspergers in her class). Told her off for helping a boy with numeracy and she had been asked to do this by the numeracy teacher. She actually said 'I don't think so you shouldn't be helping anyone with anything'. This same teaching assistant took her to one side and told her she had to attend a social group with this other child who has behavioural issues to help this child make friends. This girl is trouble and basically doesn't want to be in school and my daughter doesn't like her. But to make matters worse some of these sessions take place during literacy and numeracy. And she has also been told she has to play with this child most break times and neither her or her best friend are happy about this. Can this be right? Would you be happy about this? Help advice wanted please.

Yes the OP obviously has right to say no and suggest this.

Nothing wrong with being more aware about the background to the child though

I hope so.

It's not that I think OPs DD is right for the job.

It's just I feel for a child who is possibly being misjudged.

I don't even see what the big problem is with OP just saying no to the school and explaining the reasons.

There is a huge difference in encouraging children to play together and forcing them to play together. This sounds like the latter. I don't know why anyone thinks forcing one child into a situation they don't want to be in will work. Children aren't idiots and the other child will pick up on the ill feelings and resentment. No one gains.

Yes it's not well managed

your dd's perception is that the TA is ignoring how she feels and putting her down. No child shd have to deal with this ignorant behaviour from anyone far less a person paid to work in classrooms with other people's cc. I had a TA at one point who def thought she shd be in charge of the class. If the teacher is weak the TA may have taken over. The partnership is supposed to be under the teacher 's guidance. Something is out of whack in this classroom. You may want to ask the HT to be present at the meeting.

Just to say with the Barrington Stoke thing and the TA...my son is dyslexic and was diagnosed by an Ed Psych at the request of the school's SENCo. The SENCo had never heard of Barrington Stoke at that point . I would therefore suggest that the average TA wouldn't be aware of the books either and if you don't know, they do look 'too easy' and are somewhat weirdly set out. Her comments may be out of place, but they are perhaps not surprising.

The new curriculum encourages more able children to explain issues to those if they need it. Even the most able will benefit from seeing more than one method to solve/interpret/deduce a subject etc.

As for the child being foisted on the op daughter. This is unacceptable. Nobody needs to be with people they don't want to be with, it's teaching our children they have no say in their lives. At year 6, she's old enough to work out who her friends are and make those decisions herself.

In years 7 upwards, it may be that friendship issues become more complicated, so it's important for our children to learn how to navigate these issues as far as possible in their own way.

What a sad thread. My boy has SN and on the face of it, his behaviour is tricky. His SENCO is meant to implement "circle of friends" and a buddy system at playtime as he struggles socially. Whilst I appreciate no one should be forced to do things they don't want, it really is bloody insulting and infuriating to read again and again that children are just "naughty" and the product of feckless parents. Until you've sat down with the child's file and SENCO you have no right whatsoever to make any judgements.
My son NEEDS your children to help him grow socially. It's not a nice-to-have, and it might be that your child is asked to play with mine. Take it as the compliment that it is.

Hissy, what do you suggest? How charming to suggest children need to "negotiate away" from helping others with difficulties.

Perhaps learning and behavioural difficulties are OK to discriminate against? I wonder should children be encouraged to negotiate away from helping other kids with physical difficulties?

I agree. .if OP's DD is old enough to decide who she helps then OP should encourage her to make kind compassionate choices and not judge people and their parents.

I understand Franco.

If children are more challenging to be friends with then all children will naturally choose to not be friends with them unless encouraged or they have it explained why being inclusive is kind.

Otherwise it seems it's fine for some children to have no friends as long as your NT child is happy.

I agree giraffe. I do agree it's a very tricky issue.

Forcing friendship won't work.

But telling kids it's fine to just be friends with the fun easy people isn't the right way either IMO.

Very difficult.

Circle of Friends:
The Circle of Friends approach is a method designed to increase the socialization and inclusion of a disabled person with their peers. A Circle of Friends consists of a "focus" child, for whom the group was established, six to eight classroom peers, and an adult facilitator who meet once weekly to socialize and work on specific goals. Most available resources about the Circle of Friends approach are geared toward its use with school-aged children with various difficulties.

"Weekly meetings of the Circle of Friends: At weekly meetings, classmates play an important role in helping the focus child set and reach goals. Some research suggests that all children involved in the Circle of Friends benefit from the experience and not just the focus child."

There's plenty of info out there. My extracts are from Wikipedia

I am astounded that a school would arrange social group sessions during literacy and numeracy time for any pupils. I teach MFL one day a week in a primary school and have noticed that children seem to be taken out to attend interventions and social group stuff during my classes, as it is not a core subject (which I completely understand).

Because social function isn't as important as maths and literacy???

"Nice kids"