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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if teacher was unreasonable

121 replies

Parrotparties · 27/11/2015 20:23

A good friend is upset and annoyed after a phone call with a teacher, basically her DD and others were standing round the door at the end of lesson and teacher told them to go and sit down, when they didn't the teacher put her hand on friends DD, friends DD shouted don't touch me.

OP posts:
Bigpants4 · 27/11/2015 21:28

I think the friend was wrong to not move. Why didn't the student move when the teacher touched her shoulder?

Teachers are allowed to use reasonable force if necessary. What the teacher did was reasonable.

ArmchairTraveller · 27/11/2015 21:28

Place your bets on the OP bothering to come back.
It's getting more like Jeremy Kyle on here every day.

Original poster
Parrotparties · 27/11/2015 21:29

Ok ... I'm the teacher, I've been stressed out of my mind thinking I did something really wrong in touching the girl in case I'd brought back memories of previous abuse or something. Fwiw they were all crowding round the door demanding to be let out 10 minutes early and I was trying to calm the situation down. I didn't know any of them because I was on cover.

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 27/11/2015 21:29

Perhaps a cattle prod? For moving stubborn...individuals along.

Paddletonio · 27/11/2015 21:29

The dd is u and a brat

KeepOnMoving1 · 27/11/2015 21:29

Sounds like it was the ops daughter.

echt · 27/11/2015 21:30

then teacher said don't think you are so amazing everyone wants to touch you

This made me laugh. I'll remember it for the next time this happens to me.

FWIW, in the 35+ years I've been teaching, when such a situation has arisen, it's always followed direct disobeying of a teacher instruction by the pupil. I've never seen it said in a genuinely angered or frightened way, invariably calculating.

Now I think of it, always with an audience, too.Hmm

OP, your DD's friend is an arse.

ArmchairTraveller · 27/11/2015 21:31

bet you'll never touch another student again. Nothing like your first encounter with a teenage arse to give you a wake-up call about how vulnerabe you are.
How much experience have you got with this age group?

Fizrim · 27/11/2015 21:31

And I'm out ....

dodobookends · 27/11/2015 21:31

I think that at the end of a long week of undoubtedly having to put up with a bunch of rude, insolent, entitled, arseholey teenagers, the teacher was remarkably restrained!

echt · 27/11/2015 21:31

Ah, cover.

Carte blanche for teaching teachers like shit.

Youarentkiddingme · 27/11/2015 21:32

The teacher touched her shoulder or back as a prompt. Totally within what bild would allow.

Don't touch me is heard constantly in schools. I've restrained a pupil who was trying to put their hand through a glass window. They were telling me to get the fuck off them the whole time. Duty of care wouldn't allow me to let them cut an archery.

Plus,mid there is known past abuse then there would (or should be) a positive handling plan about how this pupil would be dealt with through any physical touch.

PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2015 21:33

I was really hoping it was a reverse. You did nothing wrong. You could talk to the girl one on one and ask if there was a reason she was yelling at you but I'd be very surprised if it was anything more than she was a mardy teen.

How did the mum react when you rang her?

Youarentkiddingme · 27/11/2015 21:33

X posts. But hopefully the bild but reassured you. There is a bit in there about maintaining god prefer and disapline.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/11/2015 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 27/11/2015 21:35

If you are the cover teacher then I feel for you because you are beating yourself up over something the girls have probably already forgotten about. Take a deep breath and enjoy the weekend.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/11/2015 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCrimshaw · 27/11/2015 21:37

WTF?!! This is surreal. Is this sort of thing the norm on Mumsnet?

parrot Talk to your line manager, this is what they are for. Behaviour management is part of the job and skills can be learned. You might also want to revisit your child protection training. Can I also suggest TES instead of Mumsnet for work-related situations like this in future?

EvilTwins · 27/11/2015 21:43

MrsC - WTF???

Not sure the OP needs any training.

Wolfiefan · 27/11/2015 21:47

Oh bless you.
She was a complete cow.
You were trying to do a difficult job.

This is why I always tried never to touch any student though. There are kids who will lie about how you touched them or use it as an excuse to turn round and punch you on the nose.

As an aside. You are with a union yes? You can always get advice from them. X

FoundNeverland · 27/11/2015 21:48

I hate reverse threads! Should be banned.

OP - you would have received support regardless. No need for the subterfuge.

MinesAPintOfTea · 27/11/2015 21:48

You shouldn't be touching pupils because the more that it is normalised, the easier it is for someone who does want to groom them to push further. But the hand on shoulder alone is not wrong. Maybe make detailed notes whilst you can remember exact words/order of actions then Brew Cake and try to relax

Oakmaiden · 27/11/2015 21:49

Can't see why, MrsC. The OP has a right to post wherever she wants, and to ask parents for their opinions if that is what she feels like.

MrsGradyOldLady · 27/11/2015 21:50

God I couldn't do you job OP. I'd have felt like sticking the nut on her.

Although, after the week I've had I do feel like slotting lots of people. Care to join me for a glass Wine ?

TwoSmellyDogs · 27/11/2015 21:51

Why did you do a reverse? I will never understand why people do this. Anyone got any kind of explanation?