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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if teacher was unreasonable

121 replies

Parrotparties · 27/11/2015 20:23

A good friend is upset and annoyed after a phone call with a teacher, basically her DD and others were standing round the door at the end of lesson and teacher told them to go and sit down, when they didn't the teacher put her hand on friends DD, friends DD shouted don't touch me.

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 27/11/2015 21:11

victim of abuse

She may have been. It's possible

But more likely, she was being a mouthy cow who was not doing as she was told and trying to deflect her bad behaviour by trying shove blame over to the teacher.

Clearly her behaviour was bad enough to warrant the teacher phoning on a Friday evening about it. I hope your friend totally backed this up but I suspect, because of this post, that you both had a kick off about how dare the teacher touch a child Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2015 21:12

Has she been a victim of abuse? That's a really big stretch...

In my experience teenagers do not always take kindly to being told what to do and will hurl all sorts of insults at you with no logical reason at all. That's not a reason to apologise.

MrsCrimshaw · 27/11/2015 21:12

How could someone being touched on the shoulder by a teacher trigger memories of abuse more than anyone else touching them on the shoulder?

Makes no sense.

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2015 21:14

Blimey I think I've seen it all now Grin

PurpleGreenAvocado · 27/11/2015 21:14

Well according to my teenage DS, the child was being unreasonable and the teacher wasn't.

gobbin · 27/11/2015 21:16

Me at home with my terminal and 30 compliant and hard-working students logged on at home. Out of sight and touch. I could teach in my Onesie and communicate by email

Lol was just having this conversation with a radiographer today when discussing schools today - the virtual classroom with a pint and PJ bottoms just off-camera would suit me fine! Grin

BananaThePoet · 27/11/2015 21:16

Unless the child has a statement of special needs which has been written up due to them having some sort of issue regarding being touched and the teacher went against that statement of needs - then you and the parent and the child are being unreasonable about being touched on the shoulder to encourage them to follow instruction.
As for being a victim of abuse or some other issues - again teachers are not psychic and reasonable human interaction such as a hand on a shoulder should not be a reason to cause a teacher to be complained about.
Just a child saying don't touch me is not reason for an apology nor for the teacher to alter their behaviour in any way. Pupils do not instruct teachers in a school it is supposed to be the other way around.
But if the pupil has an autistic spectrum disorder and has been diagnosed or statemented as such then that is a different matter and procedures and strategies should be in place and stuck to in order to make sure the pupil teacher relationship works. But the pupil still needs to make an effort to comply with reasonable requests and instructions.

PushAPushPop · 27/11/2015 21:18

Wow.

My daughter is 16 and if I'd found out she had even tried to utter those words to make an issue out of it I would have made her apologise.

So many people post about their precious kids not being looked after properly at nursery, or the school did this or didn't do that but then you see many post moaning that the teachers / carers don't treat the kids like the parents do. Basically, I spent my daughter's school life with the motto that when I wasn't there, they were the parent.

They either are or they aren't; can't have it both ways.

ArmchairTraveller · 27/11/2015 21:18

Save us having to teach them all those basic life and social skills. Need to tie your laces? Brush your teeh? Wipe your arse?
Here's a youtube link.

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2015 21:19

When I was at school during the 80s, my classmate 'didn't like the way the teacher spoke to her'.

She threatened to ring Child Line?!?

The teacher said, "Ok you can use the phone in the school office. Don't forget to press 01 for the outside line" Grin

She didn't know what to do, so she just sat back down and slunk back into her chair Blush

KeepOnMoving1 · 27/11/2015 21:20

teenager sounds like she has a horrible attitude, no respect for teachers. Think all these 'rights' have gone to her head. Why was she not listening to the teacher.

YouTheCat · 27/11/2015 21:20

No wonder we get so many kids who behave like the world owes them a living.

This child's parent wants to wake the fuck up. Her dd needs to learn to do as she's told. If she behaved like that in a place of work she'd be sacked.

ArmchairTraveller · 27/11/2015 21:20

'if the pupil has an autistic spectrum disorder and has been diagnosed or statemented as such then that is a different matter and procedures and strategies should be in place and stuck to in order to make sure the pupil teacher relationship works. But the pupil still needs to make an effort to comply with reasonable requests and instructions.'

Agreed, but unless there's a massive drip feed on the way, that isn't the case here.

CalleighDoodle · 27/11/2015 21:21

Ffs im sick of parents telling their perfect children that they are absolutely not responsible for anything they ever do.

Teenager was behaving poorly. she should sit the fuck down and behave herself. Pretty simple Really.

Janeymoo50 · 27/11/2015 21:21

My utmost sympathy for many teachers grows by the day. Is it your daughter??

goodnightdarthvader1 · 27/11/2015 21:22

Jesus Christ.

CocktailQueen · 27/11/2015 21:24

Rude child. Teacher did nothing wrong. Your friend and her dd need to grow up and apologise.

PushAPushPop · 27/11/2015 21:25

Worra I reckon the 80s/90s version of the recent "don't touch me or I'll report you" was "If you do anything to me I'm ringing Childline".

ilovesooty · 27/11/2015 21:26

I still believe that there are lots of pleasant teenagers and supportive parents out there but stories like this make me so fucking grateful that I don't teach any more.

Fizrim · 27/11/2015 21:26

So the child refused to do as she was (sit down) and then shouted at the teacher (don't touch me) and the child is expecting an apology? The child should be apologising and you should tell yourself friend that the child brought the situation on herself by not sitting down as requested in the first place!

MidnightHag · 27/11/2015 21:27

This

BrendaandEddie · 27/11/2015 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wolfiefan · 27/11/2015 21:27

Worra I love that!

Goingtobeawesome · 27/11/2015 21:27

I think the OP is the teenagers mother.

Kid is a pita

Teacher needs a break

Throwing in potential trigger abuse related is cheap and uncalled for.

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2015 21:27

True Push