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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to want him to take this unpractical gift back

155 replies

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 09:33

This year me and DH have decided to reign in christmas for one another. DC has been bought for with a few bits left to get. Me and him need nothing and don't really want anything apart from a few practical little bits.

We have not long moved and there is a fair bit we need to do with the house when the weather gets a bit better. We have a bit saved up for this and have said that money has been put aside for x y & z and he was happy with that. We have been together 13years and have done the extravagant gifts in the past and tbh we both agreed it's very hard to buy for each other now.

I had a tesco delivery yesterday and ordered a few nice chocs wine biccies ECT to put away for Xmas so thought this morn il pop them down in the garage.

We have a half converted double garage, the previous owners have left the garage doors on but have had flooring laid and a false celling put in so its in effect a large room. As it's not attached to the house we were unsure what to do with the space but loved the potential of it so decided on it being a games room for the time being and it gets used when people visit.

Have taken the tesco stuff down there this morn and I thought we had been burgled as there is boxes and stuff strewn across the floor and we do keep the side door open so dc can go in when whenever. We have been storing the new Christmas decs and some gifts, panicking thinking someone has gone through the boxes.

I've seen something in the corner wrapped with old bed sheets and old rough looking foam so have gone over and had a look, it's a full size fruit machine. One that you see in a pub.

I had a wtf moment and thought where has this come from. Then thought he has bought it for himself but why without saying anything. It's not useful, we don't need it and there are plenty of things and work that needs doing.

I've gone back to the house to text DH to ask what the hell and I have a message from him saying down go down to the garage as he is storing my Xmas gifts in there.

So am I right in thinking this is my Xmas gift? It is isn't it. He has form for this kind of thing but it got nipped in the bud a few years back after I admired a basketball hoop in a sports shop saying its a shame it's no good for dc as at that age I would of loved one. I ended up with that for Christmas.

In a way it's sweet he does listen but it has happened many years in a row and I had to have a tactful chat with him how I felt I couldn't look at anything without fearing he was going to get it.

I have no interest in fruit machines, never even been on one so why he thought it was a good idea is beyond me. I don't want to come across as ungrateful but I just wanted some nice chocs slippers and pjs this year.

He set a max £200 budget last week. He did simular last year and bought gifts up to the budget and then bought me a MacBook. It was a nice thought but impractical and I had no use for it so it got returned. I felt awful Christmas day that our gifts weren't equal and deciding how to tell him I really didn't need this gift.

Do I speak to him now? Do I tell him I've seen it? I don't think I can fake enthusiasm for this on Christmas Day and he's going to be disappointed.

AIBU to think it's got to go?

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 27/11/2015 16:38

Wow Shock

Aramynta · 27/11/2015 16:51

Agree with expat

"Not someone you say no to" has me thinking he either throws a huge fit and stirs up drama, or he is violent.

GET RID! And your DH needs a grip.

NadiaWadia · 27/11/2015 16:54

I don't understand how any kind of gambling machine could be fun to have at home though? Because you would obviously have to stock it with your own money, so nobody is actually 'winning' anything, are they? Same with the toy grabber.

I can see how a jukebox might be fun though, or maybe, was it a pool table, someone else mentioned up thread. Or some kind of video type game, space invaders (is that still a thing?) etc.

diddl · 27/11/2015 16:55

"after reading through the thread I'm seriously tempted to buy my DP a fruit machine for Christmas."

I think OP might have one to get rid of!

SpellBookandCandle · 27/11/2015 16:59

I'm so sorry, Op. This sounds like a different level of problem. Is your dh afraid of violence if he offends fruit machine machine?

SpellBookandCandle · 27/11/2015 16:59

fruit machine man

Jux · 27/11/2015 17:08

How close are you to Fruit Machine Man or his wife? Is it worth having an unhappy word with his wife, telling her you're really angry her h foisted this ridiculous thing on dh etc. Has dh actually paid for it? Does FMM have the money or was it paid straight to whoever the machiner used to belong to? How much chance is there that dh will get his money back?

LillianGish · 27/11/2015 17:14

Can someone explain why you would want your own fruit machine? Pinball would be cool, but are you seriously going to invite people round and expect them to put their money in it? Or even put your own in come to that? What's the point?

Floggingmolly · 27/11/2015 17:14

Do people really have "friends" they're afraid to say no to? Shock

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 27/11/2015 17:21

It sounds like your DH is the spineless joke this man exploits whenever it is convenient. Pathetic all round. Confused

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 17:25

OMG I would be evil if DH did that. What a loon. I think your DH does have plans to convert the garage into a pub with pumps and a bar and a juke box. Sad Wine

reni2 · 27/11/2015 17:25

Stick it on eBay and ditch the "friend".

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2015 17:46

They can't stick it on ebay reni. When I was nosying at the cost of fruit machines on ebay, I learnt that it is legal to have one at home for domestic use, but to sell them or have them in a business premises, you need a gaming licence.

In fact OP, that might be your way out. If you suspect that the fruit machine has been obtained 'under the table', you could threaten to report the seller to the Gaming Commission if he refuses to take it back.

pinkyredrose · 27/11/2015 18:02

What do you think might happen if your DH stood up to this 'friend'?

reni2 · 27/11/2015 18:20

Well, that is the way out then, it was illegal to sell, but not to buy. So get the seller to take it back, get the money, done.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 27/11/2015 18:35

to sell them or have them in a business premises, you need a gaming licence.

So the friend-of-pushy-friend has broken the law by selling it to your DH?

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 18:36

I can't see either of you standing up to this dickhead so it looks like one of you is getting a fruit machine for Christmas. And it should be him since he tried to palm off his lack of backbone as a gift for you. Really don't understand having someone whom you 'don't want to piss off' in your life voluntarily. There's nothing nice about someone who treats a mate like this.

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 19:48

Whoever said up thread about it being illegal is right. After looking online you have to have a license to sell them so we would be stuck with it forever so it's going back!

I have told him to tell his mate or I will that is is going to go back.

I'm going to pick my own gifts from now on I think. In all the years I've had some really great ones but I had a few dodgy ones!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 20:55

Stand up to this guy. He's a bully and he's not worth keeping in your life.

diddl · 27/11/2015 21:06

So if the "friend" has broken the law by selling it, has OP's husband done anything wrong by buying it?

SistersOfPercy · 27/11/2015 23:24

Can't see the point of owning a fruit machine unless you want to fleece your guests

You can set the internal chip to anything you like so you could 'fleece' guests or set it to win a small amount every time so they basically get back what they put in. Alternatively you can set up free play where your guests pay nothing to play, but equally the only thing they get for a win is a happy tune.

Some people do enjoy them, fair enough op doesn't but owning one doesn't mean you're out to con all your friends.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 28/11/2015 00:03

If it doesn't go back tomorrow, I'd borrow or hire a van and deliver it to the "mate's" front door.

Jux · 28/11/2015 01:02

Buy your own gifts, yes! Good decision. The best presents I have had in recent years were the ones I bought myself. DH just has no idea or doesn't think or he might even think that he knows better than I do what I would like! Cue, awful things I wouldn't choose myself in a month of Sundays. Apparently, he can't even look at an Amazon wish list!

19lottie82 · 28/11/2015 11:40

I'm sorry but your husband is a grown man and should have said "no way", when his mate suggested it. I'm not buying the "he's not someone you say no to" excuse. Either your DH works on standing up for himself, or he should find a new mate!

fuzzpig · 28/11/2015 14:24

I think choosing your own present might be a good idea. Bad enough to choose someone a present that they don't even like (if good intentions were there) but to palm off something they unwillingly ended up with is just ugh.

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