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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to want him to take this unpractical gift back

155 replies

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 09:33

This year me and DH have decided to reign in christmas for one another. DC has been bought for with a few bits left to get. Me and him need nothing and don't really want anything apart from a few practical little bits.

We have not long moved and there is a fair bit we need to do with the house when the weather gets a bit better. We have a bit saved up for this and have said that money has been put aside for x y & z and he was happy with that. We have been together 13years and have done the extravagant gifts in the past and tbh we both agreed it's very hard to buy for each other now.

I had a tesco delivery yesterday and ordered a few nice chocs wine biccies ECT to put away for Xmas so thought this morn il pop them down in the garage.

We have a half converted double garage, the previous owners have left the garage doors on but have had flooring laid and a false celling put in so its in effect a large room. As it's not attached to the house we were unsure what to do with the space but loved the potential of it so decided on it being a games room for the time being and it gets used when people visit.

Have taken the tesco stuff down there this morn and I thought we had been burgled as there is boxes and stuff strewn across the floor and we do keep the side door open so dc can go in when whenever. We have been storing the new Christmas decs and some gifts, panicking thinking someone has gone through the boxes.

I've seen something in the corner wrapped with old bed sheets and old rough looking foam so have gone over and had a look, it's a full size fruit machine. One that you see in a pub.

I had a wtf moment and thought where has this come from. Then thought he has bought it for himself but why without saying anything. It's not useful, we don't need it and there are plenty of things and work that needs doing.

I've gone back to the house to text DH to ask what the hell and I have a message from him saying down go down to the garage as he is storing my Xmas gifts in there.

So am I right in thinking this is my Xmas gift? It is isn't it. He has form for this kind of thing but it got nipped in the bud a few years back after I admired a basketball hoop in a sports shop saying its a shame it's no good for dc as at that age I would of loved one. I ended up with that for Christmas.

In a way it's sweet he does listen but it has happened many years in a row and I had to have a tactful chat with him how I felt I couldn't look at anything without fearing he was going to get it.

I have no interest in fruit machines, never even been on one so why he thought it was a good idea is beyond me. I don't want to come across as ungrateful but I just wanted some nice chocs slippers and pjs this year.

He set a max £200 budget last week. He did simular last year and bought gifts up to the budget and then bought me a MacBook. It was a nice thought but impractical and I had no use for it so it got returned. I felt awful Christmas day that our gifts weren't equal and deciding how to tell him I really didn't need this gift.

Do I speak to him now? Do I tell him I've seen it? I don't think I can fake enthusiasm for this on Christmas Day and he's going to be disappointed.

AIBU to think it's got to go?

OP posts:

Ouriana · 27/11/2015 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mintoil · 27/11/2015 10:36

I don't think the fruit machine is for you OP - I reckon he has bought it for himself. The reason he has told you not to go down there "or you will see your presents" is just so you don't go down there!! He didn't want you to see it.

What are you going to do now? You have to tell him you have seen it and ask him WTF surely?

Original poster

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 10:37

Right I've looked on ebay and you guys are right they are dirt cheap so that's made me feel a tad happier as I thought we would be talking about a grand. So on that front it's not too bad.
But still there is a fucking fruit machine in the garage! I'm going to have to have a think about what I'm going to do.
I can't even use the we haven't got enough space as at the moment it's fine out there it's not like it's in my lounge but I just can't see it being used. It's not practical.
Don't get me wrong it could be a lovely gift for someone if you like that / own a pub. Just not for me.
I hope it's for someone else I really do

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 10:40

Then tell him you've already been in the garage, as you told us, and would like to know whom the fruit machine is for.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2015 10:40

you don't know it came from.ebay tbh. could also be from one of those conventions that sell juke boxes and the like.

expat is spot on

SweetAdeline · 27/11/2015 10:40

I don't understand why anyone would want their own fruit machine. Surely the only fun part of it is that you might win money - it's not really a "game" in its own right. If it's you're own money/you don't win anything, what's the point?

CheesyWeez · 27/11/2015 10:41

You said your garage is a games room when you have guests. Maybe it is meant to stay in the garage and be used by your Christmas visitors? I hope so!
You could text "I've already been in there I'm afraid. I didn't find my present so that's ok. Who's the fruit machine for?"

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 10:44

Because swearing and sulking to get what you want for Christmas is grown up? I'm sure OP is capable of having a reasonable conversation about this, there is no need to try and create conflict. Clearly they do need to discuss present expectations but realistically a conversation starting with telling him she is disappointed in his shite choice of present isn't going to end well. And a Macbook, which you used as an example of previous, isn't a shite present. Misjudged and impractical perhaps but clearly well intentioned. Even the OP said it was a nice thought but impractical, not shite. It almost seems like you are trying to inflame the situation.

GreenPotato · 27/11/2015 10:44

I understood it differently - you said you've seen the fruit machine, so he knows you have been in the garage, and he says don't because you might find your presents i.e. other stuff?

He needs to address your question of why there is a fruit machine there, but it might be that he bought it for himself or whatever.

Pin him down. "I saw a fruit machine, if that's for me I'm sorry but I'd rather let you know now I don't really want that. Can you tell me why you got it?"

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 10:45

Sorry x-posted that was in reply to expat

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 10:45

CheesyWeez Love your idea!

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 10:48

Nah, tell him. 'WTF, a fruit machine!? This is a new low, even for you.'

Christmas is all about getting drunk, anyway.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2015 10:56

It sounds like you are on totally different pages with christmas gifts - a £200 budget is not 'a few bits'.

But I can see his logic - he has bought a fruit machine for your 'games room'.

Is your garage big enough that it can just sit in there and not be in the way?

Christmas present buying is hard work for a lot of people - there is so much choice out there - I find it impossible and would really rather not have to bother. I would rather just choose and buy my own stuff when I want/need it rather than have to wait until christmas to receive a variation of the thing I want, that is not my choice.

And I don't see much point in writing a list of specific items that I have chosen - by then I have done all the shopping work, I might as well follow through and buy it then.

Have you said that you want chocs, PJs and slippers? If you don't want him to spend loads or buy unsuitable presents, it's probably best to give a general list where he can make some choice/effort and there is an element of surprise.

My list for DP is:

Some gin (not Gordon's)
Anything from Hotel Chocolat or similar chocolates
A calendar for my office
A little surprise

The surprises have been variable but mostly successful and are usually things like mug, handcream, phone case etc.

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 10:56

OP, what's the end goal? Do you want the fruit machine off your property all together even if was something for him or do you just not want it to be your present? Because that affects how you tackle it. If you just don't want to be given a fruit machine then you don't need to make an excuse like not enough space, the fact you have no interest and would never ever play it should be enough. It will be easier to tackle this when you find out if it was intended for you, him or someone else.

SurlyValentine · 27/11/2015 11:03

I love CheesyWeez's idea - make out like there's no way the fruit machine could be yours, because you know he'd never buy you anything that ridiculous!

SarahSavesTheDay · 27/11/2015 11:06

What is a fruit machine? What does it do?

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 11:11

It's a big machine you normally get in pubs ( a slot machine if you are in the US) you play simple games like pulling a lever and seeing if 3 fruits match up to win money. I can't understand the appeal of having one at home personally as the games are not involved or interesting, the only point is winning money, which presumably at home you put in yourself!

Original poster

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 11:12

I've bitten the bullet and text him as someone suggested up thread just saying sorry too late I've only just seen your message. Don't worry not come across my gifts from you but out of curiosity who is the fruit machine for.

I don't really use that room much, I use it for extra storage I hardly go in there. If he wants if for himself and it wasn't ££££ thats fine with me but I don't want it for a gift for myself IYSWIM.

OP posts:

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 11:12

Like this

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 11:16

Great message, can't wait to see the reply. If you don't mind him keeping it for himself and he hasn't spent silly money on it I don't think it will be a big problem. The fact you would never play it should be a reason not to give it to you, don't feel you have to make excuses. I hope it all works out.

SarahSavesTheDay · 27/11/2015 11:16

Oh, I see. That's not at all what I thought it was.

Not an ideal present in any case.

ShortandSweeter · 27/11/2015 11:19

DON'T Do what expat says, whatever you do.

MiniCooperLover · 27/11/2015 11:19

Ah that's a very good message, hope he comes back with a positive message

trulybadlydeeply · 27/11/2015 11:21

Great response OP. Let's hope he does have a different present lurking in there that's actually for you!

Aeroflotgirl · 27/11/2015 11:22

Bloody hell, I would ask him what he's playing it, with the fruit machine in the garage.

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