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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to want him to take this unpractical gift back

155 replies

Mrsbattleaxe · 27/11/2015 09:33

This year me and DH have decided to reign in christmas for one another. DC has been bought for with a few bits left to get. Me and him need nothing and don't really want anything apart from a few practical little bits.

We have not long moved and there is a fair bit we need to do with the house when the weather gets a bit better. We have a bit saved up for this and have said that money has been put aside for x y & z and he was happy with that. We have been together 13years and have done the extravagant gifts in the past and tbh we both agreed it's very hard to buy for each other now.

I had a tesco delivery yesterday and ordered a few nice chocs wine biccies ECT to put away for Xmas so thought this morn il pop them down in the garage.

We have a half converted double garage, the previous owners have left the garage doors on but have had flooring laid and a false celling put in so its in effect a large room. As it's not attached to the house we were unsure what to do with the space but loved the potential of it so decided on it being a games room for the time being and it gets used when people visit.

Have taken the tesco stuff down there this morn and I thought we had been burgled as there is boxes and stuff strewn across the floor and we do keep the side door open so dc can go in when whenever. We have been storing the new Christmas decs and some gifts, panicking thinking someone has gone through the boxes.

I've seen something in the corner wrapped with old bed sheets and old rough looking foam so have gone over and had a look, it's a full size fruit machine. One that you see in a pub.

I had a wtf moment and thought where has this come from. Then thought he has bought it for himself but why without saying anything. It's not useful, we don't need it and there are plenty of things and work that needs doing.

I've gone back to the house to text DH to ask what the hell and I have a message from him saying down go down to the garage as he is storing my Xmas gifts in there.

So am I right in thinking this is my Xmas gift? It is isn't it. He has form for this kind of thing but it got nipped in the bud a few years back after I admired a basketball hoop in a sports shop saying its a shame it's no good for dc as at that age I would of loved one. I ended up with that for Christmas.

In a way it's sweet he does listen but it has happened many years in a row and I had to have a tactful chat with him how I felt I couldn't look at anything without fearing he was going to get it.

I have no interest in fruit machines, never even been on one so why he thought it was a good idea is beyond me. I don't want to come across as ungrateful but I just wanted some nice chocs slippers and pjs this year.

He set a max £200 budget last week. He did simular last year and bought gifts up to the budget and then bought me a MacBook. It was a nice thought but impractical and I had no use for it so it got returned. I felt awful Christmas day that our gifts weren't equal and deciding how to tell him I really didn't need this gift.

Do I speak to him now? Do I tell him I've seen it? I don't think I can fake enthusiasm for this on Christmas Day and he's going to be disappointed.

AIBU to think it's got to go?

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2015 12:24

How so, Keep. Do you mean 'know what a fruit machine is' or know that the DH had bought it for the OP for Christmas?

Aren't fruit machines common knowledge (in the UK at least) possibly excluding people who have never been in a pub or amusement arcade at the seaside?

LaContessaDiPlump · 27/11/2015 12:25

I think we need a fruit machine icon to symbolise a really badly-chosen gift. Sort it out MNHQ!

Aramynta · 27/11/2015 12:26

Fuck me, OP. You need to gave serious words with him.

In future perhaps have a "Lets set a budget together for our gifts to each other and buy ourselves something we like in that price range" arrangement.

He won't be able to get it wrong and feel bad, and you won't feel frustrated by his lack of thought that way.

BolshierAryaStark · 27/11/2015 12:26

Sorry but this has made me lol, poor you OP. This is clearly a gift for himself which he's bought in the guise of a gift for you. Tell him no worries, he can have it as his Christmas present as he thought it was such a fab idea.

TheExMotherInLaw · 27/11/2015 12:29

tell him that's his Christmas gift from you

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2015 12:30

I suppose this problem could be solved by you buying him chocs, PJs and slippers in your size and to your taste Grin.

LineyReborn · 27/11/2015 12:32

This is one of the top three shite gifts from DHs ever on MN, the other two being a baking tray (all the poor woman got for Christmas) and the offer of a private hysterectomy.

partialderivative · 27/11/2015 12:35

A Juke Box would have been cool!

Not so sure about a fruit machine

KeepOnMoving1 · 27/11/2015 12:38

Barbara possibly you're right, I'm not originally from the uk so haven't come across it before. And don't really like pubs so haven't really seen much.
I'm still Grin that it's actually a thing, and why also why on earth would you get someone that as A gift.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 12:39

He bought it as a gift to him for you, IYKWIM. Be straight with him. Or do what Barbara says.

YakTriangle · 27/11/2015 12:39

Why on earth would anyone buy a sodding fruit machine for a person who has never expressed any interest in them whatsoever?? Was he having a funny five minutes or a head rush or something?

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 12:42

'In future perhaps have a "Lets set a budget together for our gifts to each other and buy ourselves something we like in that price range" arrangement.'

This.

All this, 'Oh, don't be rude to him.'

The OP has specifically said no unpractical gifts, please, set a budget, and he has gone against this wish and bought her something she expressed NO interest in.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2015 12:43

this is one of those gifts where he's trying to appear generous bit is actually bloody thoughtless and it's nasty. 13 years he should know you better.

but i bet your now painted as the ungrateful wife who spoilt the surprise and all his friends won't see a.problem as they all want one

fuzzpig · 27/11/2015 12:43

oh dear :(

I hate, hate, HATE presents that are more liked by the giver than the receiver. It's something a 3yo might understandably do (I like Elsa so I'll get mummy an Elsa!) but an adult... no. My mum always used to hand over my one present at birthday or Xmas - every single time with the words "if you don't like it, I'll have it". It's a sore point for me!

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 12:45

This makes the guy from last year whose wife had asked, nicely, 'Please no more perfume as a gift,' and he got her perfume look nice. Except you can easily return perfume.

BYOSnowman · 27/11/2015 12:45

We call it a Homer present (after homer gave marge an engraved bowling ball with homer in it and holes to fit his hand perfectly)

SweetAdeline · 27/11/2015 12:51

I'd rather have baking trays.

OlafLovesAnna · 27/11/2015 12:53

My FIL is always doing this to MIL, and she's just been accepting it for 40+ yrs.

Well done for tackling it OP rather than just going along with it. I hope it all turns out ok after the 'chat'.

KoalaDownUnder · 27/11/2015 12:56

How does this thing even work in your own home??

Do you put money in yourself and then sit there pulling levers to try and 'win' it? Confused

LineyReborn · 27/11/2015 12:58

Maybe your houseguests put money in it to play it and you take it off them?

Postchildrenpregranny · 27/11/2015 13:26

£200 budget is 'reining in' ? Is that each ? (leaving out DC)

Damselindestress · 27/11/2015 13:26

Oh dear, he's really not taking a hint is he? With people this (deliberately?) dense I either arrange with them that as adults we don't need to exchange gifts to avoid the awkwardness or, with their permission, offer a couple of suggestions for things I would like as a gift. That way it's still a surprise as I don't know which suggestion they will pick but it's not a surprise like a fruit machine! He might be open to this as it would remove the pressure of Christmas shopping or the possibility of getting something you would hate. I think you have to spell out to him as you have here that fruit machines are not your thing, you wouldn't play one and you just wanted some nice chocs slippers and pjs this year. Then he can see if he can return the fruit machine or keep it for himself, maybe that can be your present to him? Good luck!

quietbatperson · 27/11/2015 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littlef00t · 27/11/2015 13:30

If you have a games room I guess it's gonna stay in there, so it won't take up valuable space. After a couple of years you could demonstrate you've never used it and get rid?

carrielou2007 · 27/11/2015 13:32

I remember the 'don't get me perfume' thread! Not in this league sorry OP Flowers