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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being precious?

40 replies

knackeredNAfraid · 26/11/2015 21:46

Tomorrow is my last day at a job I really hate. Monday I start a new job. Therefore, I told DH a few weeks back that i would like us to share a bottle of wine tomorrow night to celebrate - he agreed. So I bought abnice bottle of red and have mentioned it a few times since. I've been really looking forward to it.

Tonight I get home from work and suggest we could get a movie to watch tomorrow night and he tells me it would have to be after football (on sky sports). I ask what time that is on and he says 7.45 so he will be sat at the computer from 7.30 until at least 9.30 tomorrow night. I remind him that we were meant to celebrating with the wine and he was really blaza about it, shrugged his shoulders and said "yeah, but football is on".
He's not even a big follower of football and we don't even have sky sports which is why he needs to be sat at the computer whilst he streams it off some foreign tv channel. So now my night of celebrating has turned into sitting on my own until 9.30 - 10pm by which time I'll too tired and past it to give a shit.
Is this a bit thoughtless of him or am I being precious? I was really looking forward to tomorrow night :-( and we can't postpone it until Saturday as "boxing is on" Hmm

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 26/11/2015 21:47

Can you invite a friend round to drink the wine instead? :)

MidnightAura · 26/11/2015 21:48

Yanbu!

You want to celebrate something special, you mentioned it ages ago and he agreed. It's a bit shit to decide football is more important. Your DH is being thoughtless.

TwoSmellyDogs · 26/11/2015 21:48

I don't think you're being precious, no. I think he's being a bit of an insensitive dick end though. I'm not sure what you can do about it - if you throw a hissy the potential moment will be ruined anyway - as it is now, more or less. I might be tempted to call a girlfriend and go out for a few gins - could you do that?

KeepOnMoving1 · 26/11/2015 21:50

Yanbu, he knew you had plans to spend it with him. Very mean of him to dismiss it that way.

donajimena · 26/11/2015 21:50

Is he a good husband in other respects? I think you might be a tad precious.

AshleyWilkes · 26/11/2015 21:50

Men can be so inconsiderate sometimes. You had it planned for a while , were excited about it, and he knew that. If the football meant that much to him shouldn't he have said something before?

YANBU or precious. I would be annoyed too.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 26/11/2015 21:52

Did you mention it as a "thing", or just, "Let's get a nice bottle of wine to celebrate my last day?"

I regularly suggest grabbing some wine/champagne/whatever on a particular night. Sometimes we drink it together, sometimes we drink it with me watching footie or playing a game and him on the computer, or whatever. Is it possible that he thought it was just a nice treat, rather than an actual activity?

If not, get him to watch the highlights of the game and celebrate with you, or postpone to Saturday and get him to watch the highlights of the boxing. He doesn't need to watch both. Or get Sky Sports for the night and watch it together, if you like football.

Original poster
knackeredNAfraid · 26/11/2015 21:53

It's more his attitude towards it - the complete lack of concern. I asked him what time it finished and sll he kept saying was "dunno". He knows how long a fucking match is! It's almost like he was going out of his way to be as much of a twat as possible.

OP posts:
Hassled · 26/11/2015 21:53

No, that's not precious at all. He's prioritising his wants despite knowing it's not what you want and that tomorrow is a big deal for you. Is this standard, or one-off twattery?

Original poster
knackeredNAfraid · 26/11/2015 21:55

He won't budge on the football or the boxing.

OP posts:
Original poster
knackeredNAfraid · 26/11/2015 21:56

It's becomming pretty standard. Put it this wAy - I'm started to hide how much im looking forward to certain things because if he gets wind of it, he seems to go out of his way to spoil it - usually by engineering an argument.

OP posts:
BushyTailedPony · 26/11/2015 21:57

Switch off the wifi (oh dear it's broken...) hahaha. He does seem to be being mean. I hate football.

AshleyWilkes · 26/11/2015 21:58

OP that doesn't sound good Sad

ilovesooty · 26/11/2015 22:00

Which football match is it?

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 26/11/2015 22:11

Drink all the Wine yourself. And then go and talk to him all through the football. Revenge is sweet (and drunken) Grin

crispytruffle · 26/11/2015 22:11

I'd drink the wine on my own...more for me!

Janeymoo50 · 26/11/2015 22:15

Hmmm, he is being a bit of a so and so especially as this is pretty major thing for you and especially also starting a new job too. Could you maybe go out with a friend for food (and wine) and then spend time with him when you get in (although I'd probably have had too much by then!!!). Good luck on Monday.

Justaboy · 26/11/2015 22:22

Why don't you chuck the bottle of wine thorough the TV or computer?, empty of course:) Its a real gripe with me whenever i go to see my sister the TV is on and LOUD and its invariably Football or Rugby. They never think to turn it down your just shouted at to come in and sit there and gaze at the poxy TV so much so I've given up visiting her and their family.

I know others are like this too, TV rules their lives it really does.

It's an addiction:-(

Postchildrenpregranny · 26/11/2015 22:23

Could yu not celebrate starting the new job on Monday instead?
but you are hinting at 'issues' above?

Damselindestress · 26/11/2015 22:26

As a one-off, it could just have been thoughtlessness on his part, not realising how important tomorrow night was to you or forgetting it clashed with the football. What's really worrying is that this isn't a one-off and you feel he deliberately sabotages things you are looking forward to. That's no way to live. How long has this been going on?

Error404usernamenotfound · 26/11/2015 22:29

Although on its own it's a fairly small issue, the fact that he is not willing to budge at all, that he doesn't care that you might be upset or annoyed about it, and, worse, that this is an increasingly frequent issue, adds up to something slightly worrying. I know that I can't say much based on one isolated incident, but going out of his way to spoil things, or even you thinking that that's what he is doing, is not good. What other events has he decided to piss on?

I definitely second going out with a friend if you can and then bring friend back to yours to drink that nice wine and don't let the miserable sod have any of it

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 26/11/2015 22:33

I have never and will never date a guy who's in to watching football. Deal breaker!
Yanbu, he is being a cunt

WilyWindyMoors · 26/11/2015 22:38

OP weird question but is your new job in nursing by any chance? Just wondering whether you've posted on a similar scenario (unhelpful partner) before.

Enjoy your wine and congratulations SmileWine

IcecreamBus · 26/11/2015 22:39

Get a friend or two together, go off out and have a really nice night and leave him to be a footbore on his own. You could always drink the wine while getting ready!

donajimena · 26/11/2015 22:42

Ok so now you have given more info my view has changed a little
As others have said can you get with a friend?
Congrats on the new job by the way ☺