Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

[Imchangingmyname]

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

120 is easy to spend on a toddler, a bike plus helmet, new pj's, a christmas dress, stocking fillers (bubbles soft toys sweets)

I do spoil mine a bit at christmas, i don't spend much throughout the year and to be fair to them they never whinge or beg for things in shops.

I should say my spending is pure savings I woukd never get into debt for christmas

I am unabashedly extravagant at Christmas.

I wholeheartedly embrace the huge pile of presents and bottomless stockings.

And I'm quite posh

I suppose this is exactly the reason why there is a "Christmas" topic, and why people by and large use it.

Because then those who don't want to see all the 'what do I get a (insert name/sex here)' and 'am I spending too much/too little' threads, don't have to.

Not rtft but can imagine its contents! I suppose either extreme is silly.

I do get irritated with the satsuma brigade (although I am passionate about satsumas!) because invariably the poster drones on about getting three 10p books from the charity shop only to reveal they have a 3-month old baby. They're usually cut from the same cloth as the posters who feel the need to post about how they would never let their dcs be fussy eaters/become bolshy teenagers etc etc. Grrrr!

I must say my old gimmeriness comes bubbling up when I read about these Christmas Eve hampers. WTFFFFF? You've ruined the anticipation! You've spent many more £££££!!! And there's nothing left to go in the stockings!!

And - advent present calendars? Well, F that with a capital F.

I hate that fucking poem. It's just a justification for buying your child only one gift they actually want. But then I'm Scottish and we are generally more generous at Christmas. I have never encountered anyone in real life who follows that mantra. I agree it's not good to get into debt and also that showering children with everything their heart desires is not necessary or proves that you love them more, but not buying your children things just because of a silly poem is ridiculous imo.

What I've also noticed though is that some of the people doing frugal gifts have children who receive a lot of expensive gifts from family members. I hope these people realise that in future they will be the ones needing to do that, or maybe their children will remember how deliberately mean their parents were and take the opposite tack.

Each to their own though.

Not if you get them gifts that will last them a while. We're getting DD (who will be almost 2 come xmas) a balance bike which will last her until she's 5. It's going to be with her a couple years, so we spend a pretty penny on it so it will last and endure the years of abuse that children inflict on their things.

Check she likes them first. We bought a £70 balance bike for DD when she was 2 (not for b'day or Xmas, just because). I sold it a few weeks ago, 3 years old and unridden. Picked up a £10 second hand bike with stabilisers when she was 3 and she was barely off it. Some kids have a very strong preference for one or other.

I hate that fucking poem. It's just a justification for buying your child only one gift they actually want

Away from mumsnet madness, I don't know anyone who genuinely only gets their dc one gift. Even the 'thrifty' ones.

"Something to read" would be a waste of money here.

Both only read what school tells them to.

I also hate the poem. Something to wear is not a gift for a small child. If you have kids part of being a parent is making sure they have clothes.

Something to wear is not a gift for a small child

I disagree with this...ds2 loves getting clothes as gifts. Genuinely.

He's 5 and the experience of getting him dressed is more like dealing with a teenage girl with the care and time he takes picking out clothes.

Ds1 however...would be unimpressed to say the least.

My kids love nice clothing gifts too. Equally something to wear could be dress up stuff.

sings

"Deck the halls with tat and glitter - falalalala, lala, la la
'Tis the season to be bitter - falalalala, lala, la la..."

I'm one of those who buys less at Christmas. I don't see it as competitive particularly. My DC get one main gift, a stocking with puzzles, toiletries, sweets etc, and then small bits from family and friends. Then we have a sack of sharing gifts for the whole family (5DC/SC between us): a couple of board games, a voucher for an experience or outing. However they do get plenty spent on them through the year: music lessons, clubs, outings etc. We don't usually give clothes at Christmas, just shop during the year as required.
The only time I see issues on MN is when people come on bemoaning that they are struggling or unable to buy a great heap of gifts and comparing themselves to others, which is when I might come on to say don't worry: they really don't need much and you can make the season special in other ways.

I spend what I spend. I never go into debt at Christmas. I put £100 a month in a jar until October and as I buy 17 main presents at £50 each that covers that. I also do 17 stockings. I buy bits for them all year and put them in a big box. In November I divide into carrier bags, one for each person then I only have to top them up if needed. Cracker are from TKMaxx when they are cheap. Food is budgeted for and all's well.
If you spend £10 or £10000 pounds that's fine too just do not go into debt.

Something to wear is not a gift for a small child. If you have kids part of being a parent is making sure they have clothes.

I totally disagree. The clothes my kids get at Christmas are not usually somethings I would pick or spend money on.

Dd wanted a hoodies that was £60. If she needed a hoodie any other time of the year I wouldn't spend £60 on it because she wouldn't get that much use out of it. She will be surprised and delighted to get it at Christmas

Not sure that a small child would be wanting a £60 hoody.

Something to wear is not a gift for a small child.

A fancy dress outfit is.

If you have kids part of being a parent is making sure they have clothes

Yup. And some of us do it by means of hand-me-downs and charity shops. Something that hasn't been worn before, therefore, and chosen especially for the child in question is a treat.

Sorry if that sounds terribly smug.

I agree with the hoody point.

If ds needs some pants in April, they come from Primark. For Christmas I'm planning to get some Jack Wills ones. And before anyone says, "Oh, what's the difference," - I personally agree. I don't care about brands but, unfortunately, a lot of teens do. In fact ds is very unlabelly and mostly wears Primark. Dd, a tweenager, is a blimmin' nightmare.

Surely Christmas presents is about getting somebody somehting they would like (within reason!) rather than a present that you feel makes a point .

We are solidly MC. But I don't go in for the one gift and a satsuma thing. I like to get a reasonable pile of presents, though am thoroughly outdone by some people. I also find that relatives ask me to get something for my DDs at the last minute and wrap it up for them, so I'd be stuck if I hadn't bought a few extra gifts. But my DH and DM really hate it if I give our DDs clothes as a present as 'they aren't really a present'. I know that DD's friends get clothes as presents, sometimes to bulk out what they are getting, so I'd like to make that normal for DD too.

A teenager is not a small child

I like the idea of clothes to bulk out and long out the present opening process, I wish they would move Christmas to the beginning of winter so I wouldn't have already have needed a winter wardrobe for a good couple of months.
Two years running I have bought my ds trainers for Christmas in the next size up and he's ended up needing the bigger size before Christmas shrinking my Christmas pile.
I aim for a biggish looking present, three or four more normal size in a box type presents and a sweetie and tat stocking, I got all of the normal size ones from b&m this year tho so looks more impressive than what I spent.

A teenager is not a small child

Gosh - you've got this parenting business nailed, haven't you!

makes note

Not sure that a small child would be wanting a £60 hoody.

she is 11 not a teenager and still a child.

I'll give another example. 4 year old ds wants Spider-Man hoodie that zips all the way up to make a spider man mask. Right to the top of the hood. Again it's a Christmas present. Not something I would buy as the novelty will wear off.

Is that small enough?

Very small kids - my nephew will be 13 months) and likely to get clothes, because there is nothing he needs. His brother is only 18 months older, so they have loads of toys and their house is cluttered. I want to get him something and his mum asked for some clothes. Nephew doesn't care either way and his parents will get him some toys.

Last year was the same when he was 4 weeks at Christmas

It's still a present.

So there is 3 age groups where I consider clothe as a present. Is than enough or is there an actual age you mean?