Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

[Imchangingmyname]

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

If it's of any interest, my DC say that they don't remember any of the stuff we did and places we took them to when they were little, only what they have seen in videos or photos. When I said to them I should have just saved the money and not bothered, DS said "No mum, I am sure we really enjoyed it at the time" :)

I'm wondering whether a sprout would suffice this year AuntieStella. The teens would get the joy of unwrapping (yes, I know wrapping paper is ostentatious, which is why sprouts are great- they can just peel away the outer leaves), then I can stick them on the hob to boil for a couple of hours (we like ours al dente).
Win, win, I reckon.

We bought foil wrapped chocolate sprouts and satsumas last year. I think they were from Sainsbury's

We did try the satsuma at the bottom of our daughter's stocking a few years ago, but she slipped it back into the fruit bowl 'to eat later'

I don't have time for either actually, the competitive frugals or the competitive present pilers.

Satsuma is traditional though isn't it?

Is it? I've never gotten candy or fruit in my stocking. My parents always got a huge bowl of fruit for the family to share Christmas morning growing up though.

Just lots of tat that we loved and my parents hated. One year it was silly string, one year it was a ton of nerf gun ammo (and the guns were wrapped up), one year it was obnoxious noise makers. The whole time our parents would moan "Oh Santa... What were you thinking! Were we naughty this year??"

Satsuma is traditional though isn't it?

It is in both my and DP's families. Stocking with chocolate coins and a satsuma, and other bits (though our families didn't do those bits the same). I still do the stocking satsuma for us now.

Maybe it depends where you live with the Satsuma? Also my parents were brought up during the war and rationing etc so a satsuma would have been a great treat. In fact I don't think my Dad really had christmas at all. Apart from living in abject poverty, his parents killed themselves when he was a small boy, his grandparents then tried to bring him and his brother up but couldn't cope and he ended up in Barnardos - I don't think he was treated very well there either.

We had satsumas when we were growing up and the dc have had them too, usually nuts, sweets, and a few bits of plastic stuff.

myotherusername

That's awful, poor man.
My parents were children during the war and were the same about satsumas.
My mum always wanted a doll, eventually her much older db bought her one, but he dropped it by accident and it broke. On xmas day too. She never got another doll.

He died at 67 :( He and my mum got married when they were 21 and had 7 of us. They both worked hard always and did their best to give us a happy childhood. We didn't have many holidays but we had lots of picnics in the park. At Christmas to give my mum peace to get dinner on the table he would take us outside and make us run laps of the estate while he pretended he was timing us :o Happy days, satsuma and all.

Shame about your mums doll. My mum always wanted a dolls house. My sister and I got her one when we found out - she loved it and then passed it on to her grand-daughters.

Ooh will look out for the chocolate sprouts and satsumas gingerbreadname - they sound perfect for stockings
Other bits of this thread are bringing a tear to the eye this morning
We will always have a satsuma in our stocking.
That orangey smell is so evocative of Christmas for me.
My DD loves the poem about an orange by Wendy Cope
"At lunchtime I bought a huge orange"
It's great but you'll have to look it up! ....

I don't really like either extreme tbh. A mum from school posted her daughter's HUGE Santa list on FB though (and has previously posted present pile photos) and it just makes me I feel like sending her that message about not going OTT with Santa so that children whose parents can't afford as much don't feel bad. They can always top up with presents from them if they feel the need. It just seems so grabby to be asking for such a long list with many expensive things. What is that teaching them? Yes, yes, I know I'm being judgey.

It depends though, was it a 'look I'm getting my DD every single item' type thing? My DCs wrote massive lists but they know they won't get everything, or even anything on it necessarily. Could it have just been a photo of the list as in 'look at all this stuff my DD wants' rather than 'this is what DD is getting' IYSWIM? As I've seen a photo like that before.

When they were young children, my boys used to put all sorts of stuff on their list to Santa as they had no real concept of money, weren't aware of what other children got and anyway Santa brought it all so it didn't matter what Mum and dad could afford.

Obviously as they get older you educate them and then when Santa no longer exists it changes again. We had some lists with about £1200 worth of stuff on them. Clearly they didn't get that :) Now that they are teenagers they ask for very little and that at a push.

So, a big elaborate list doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a spoiled child involved.

I don't think I'd post about Christmas lists on Facebook. I think a lot of children know what's just daft. We used to do elaborate lists too, and I don't remember ever being disappointed at only getting a few things from the list and some surprises (as my mum used to tell us that that's how it worked).

I've told my mum and other relatives what DS has said he's going to ask Santa for, because he's almost 3, this is the first year he's "got it" and it's (IMO) very cute that he thinks it will be amazing if Father Christmas brings him a Postman Pat van and a train set. But he has no concept of money, so for all he knows that will cost the same as a car, or as a bag of sprouts.

Not sure if anyone has piped in with this, but there is a bit of me that doesn't mind the thrifty Christmas threads (except the posters who act like they are somehow more virtuous because all they give their child is a walnut and last week's newspaper).

This year is going to be beyond bare for us. It has been one of those years - I have had 4 operations, the last one being an amputation, and am having complications from that. We have had unexpected expenses left and right, and major disharmony among the extended family.

We are barely making the bills, so buying any Christmas presents is sadly just not going to happen.

I try to read the threads with an eye to ideas of gifts I can make and things I can do for the DC, and will admit to muttering responses instead of typing them to the smug self important twats.

No, she'll definitely get it all and more.

We were always told not to be greedy with our lists because Santa doesn't like that. (Also had some children's story books with similar message) so we'd maybe ask for a couple of things and then be really pleased with anything else we got on top of that. We've done the same with ours.

CallMe - sorry you've had such a tough year

DD is currently sat beside me trying to write her letter to Santa (she is home today because she has an appointment to have her spinal brace adjusted)

So far, it says " Dear Santa, I've been trying my hardest to be a good girl this year. Stuff did not go as planned."

She cracks me up.

I'm sorry to callme. I think what people have been trying to say here is it isn't about people who can't afford to spend much, it's about those who are needlessly giving very little in order to beat how little others have given as if it makes them better people.

I don't know how old your kids are, but my kids remember very little about early Christmases and despite not getting any big items when I was a child, I have very happy christmas memories. I don't really ever remember believing in Santa though but i was aware that we weren't well off and that my parents would have bought more if they could afford it. I have therefore no resentment or ill feeling.

I think that might not be the case for children of well off parents who get the sprout and walnut...

I hope you all have a lovely home made christmas together. Cuddles on the sofa watching christmas tv and snacks will be good :)

'Stuff did not go as planned."'

I like her letter writing style, and her PJs.

Oh callme bless your lovely daughter. I so hope Santa can come up with something for her on the day, and hope that 2016 is a far far better year for you and your family.

I know that it is the MN one-upmanship that is the issue. It seems to go both ways. I can do more, or I can do less.

The DCs are 19, 17 and 10. The 19 year old is our niece - she "aged out" of foster care and was not able to live independently. Grandparents wouldn't take her in, bio-Mom can't even can't care for herself, so she is with us. The other 2 are ours.

Definitely old enough to have experience with Christmas, but also old enough to "survive" a lean one.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas CallMe even if it is more frugal than some years - hope others around you will step up to make it nice for you all.
Sorry you've had such a difficult year. Your DD's note to Santa is very cute

I don't have any issue with thriftiness at Christmas. One thing that dc2 has asked this year are 'vouchers' which were little bits of paper giving him the opportunity to have a game of board of his choice with us/going at the top of a mountain etc...
Thrifty doesn't mean not very good.

Have to say I'm edging towards starting a straight up frugal Christmas thread as I might have done other years
But you say there are such things around already?
Hopefully not competitive frugality but just we're a bit broke this year and this Christmas consumerism has gone a bit mad hasn't it? What things do you do, apart from giving and receiving pressies, that makes the season for you?
Any takers?
Sorry, that's a bit of a thread hijack isn't it
I think I'll wait til December and see how I feel/ what else people have started

I'll join you if you start one, Juggling