Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

[Imchangingmyname]

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

I do save for it across the year...£50 a month or thereabouts so everything is coveted in advance. Talking to a few mums at school hasade me suspect that actually we are a little unusual in this respect though, our entire spending would go on one child it appears. I do live in a pretty MC heartland though, so being frugal must be the done thing according to here.

i save for Christmas £10-15 a week

it dosent cover it all but i sure does soften the spend

myotherusernameisbetter I can't get my head around why you would deliberately be mean if you cold afford to treat your childrn.

Judging from most of these posts my £30 per child budget is insufficient and you would say i am being 'deliberately mean'. I can afford more but it is not about the money, it is about what the child wants. my daughter has asked for a dolly that shuts its eyes so that is what she is getting. My son wants a rocket toy. my baby is getting a cosy coupe car.

i think the previous posters point about the £600 laptop is a good one, why is the girl not happy with and talking about getting a laptop for christmas. why the mention of the cost??

i don't know how to do it but the first line of my above message is a quote from what myotherusernameisbetter said

I am smug and middle class and proud of it.

If you use the word Xmas I can assure you that you are not middle class

A grand on christmas when on benefits is mind boggling tbh. I dont have that much to spare when working full time assuming this post is real

I agree. My 5 yr old asked for a bead set and a toy snowman. She will get a few other bits but why spend for the sake of it? I have got some lovely real beads from Etsy so she can make real things, but even that isn't much.

3 yr old wanted toy penguin and Spiderman pencil set.

Cross post, I agree with goodlife

living I haven't read the full thread and I have no idea what your child wants and how old they are. If you are buying your child what they have asked for and it's within your budget that's fine. Also if you have a very tight budget and you are doing your best to select things that your child would enjoy most, again absolutely fine.

It's being deliberately mean that I have an issue with. i.e. not buying something you could perfectly afford that your child would enjoy and treasure because you have it in your head that giving then anything more than a toothbrush, a pair of pants, a book that you think is good for them rather than one they'd enjoy and a small 2nd hand toy that you've bought because it cheap, is spoiling them. There have been lots of threads about it.

I have twin nephews, one year one of them wanted a snooker table and the other wanted the white gloves and a bow tie - obviously one present cost way more than the other (and they did get some other stuff) but the 2nd present although cheap was exactly what the child wanted. That's not being mean, it's more an attitude as well as the amount you spend.

Also you can spend £30-50 on toddler and get a lot, that amount on a teenager gets them very very little.

Sorry

Can i just point out that there is a world of difference between buying a five year old something they would like and a 15 year old something they would need

When my children were 4 they were more than happy with a few little bits

Now they are bigger and a book is £8 money doesnt go as far

Bit of a cross post with my s last sentence there

A grand on christmas when on benefits is mind boggling tbh. I dont have that much to spare when working full time assuming this post is real

but it is true in my case,i save probably 60% through out the year,i only buy for my 3 and my sister,i dont have debts so im not servicing that and dont pay rent or mortgage paid of) dont drive and am a real bargain hunter

eg doubled up my tesco vouchers and got a tablet for my youngest only cost me £10

youngest wanted some lego that is not in production,with shopping about and having the money to hand instead of paying £100 i paid £50

i make it my mission to get what i see value for money and i enjoy all the researching etc to get the best deal

Last year we spent an obscene amount on DSD, mostly on craft sets that she loves. This weekend gone she used the last craft set and has used roughly one a visit. We havent had to buy her anything remotely gifty for the past 11 months because I was careful that despite getting an obscene amount that particularly with the craft sets she was only doing one at a time and generally one a visit.

DD is one this christmas and has had an obscene amount spent as well as DSD this year. Again DSD will still get lots of the crafty arty stuff to spread out and DD will get a lot of toys to grow into and her next size of clothes. My plan is again not to need to buy again until next christmas.

We find DSD enjoys having the huge pile and I love it too. I'm super strict all year round though on not buying the crap tat that she sees on a wim and will do the same for DD when she starts the whole wanting everything on sight.

It's the people who spend £10 on Jimmy at Xmas because they are spending they money elsewhere like the kids club on their all inclusive 5* holiday to allow themselves some 'adult' time

Seaside you must be frugal in other areas of life throughout the year that totally pass me by but I'm making it my mission to slowly cut costs on unnecessary items or services

Growing up my mum spent very little on us at Christmas - for very MC reasons. I clearly remember my presents one year being a beret and scarf.
Another year I had second hand riding boots.

But I didn't feel like I was missing out, Christmas was a lovely time with food and family and days out. I remember being so jealous of my friend who got Levi 501's in her stocking!

My dc's have got bikes this year, mainly because they have outgrown their existing ones. I plan to also buy them:
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read

And I'm a big fan of lovely stockings filled with all the tat they love.

There's a great ikea ad where they ask the kids what they want for Christmas and most of them say more time with my mum and dad. So true.

If you are mean with your children and deprive them materially, when they can see you have pots of cash and you spend a great deal on yourselves, then yes I can see that is abusive.

But it is NOT mean not to shower your children with every luxury you could possibly afford. It does NOT show them that you love them. Showing them that you love them shows them that you love them iyswim.

i cant say really what is normal to some i would think indulgent and vice versa

i do keep a tight reign on things but do have satellite but thats for large family package,landline and broadband £39 a month,i was going to leave but they bought the price down to that

like i said i dont drive and am on pip and esa so get a bus pass,so save like that,will visit 3 supermarkets and home bargains etc than just shop in one supermarket

dont have gym memberships etc,cook a reasonable amount,only have a takeaway probably once every 2-3 months

i could go on and on and on

I just think £120 on a 2 year old is ridiculous, but it's your money

I think it depends how you treat Christmas really and what types of presents you buy.

Mine have always had a decent pile of gifts, even ds2 who was only 8 months on his first one.

He had the same amount of money spent on him as ds1 who was nearly 3. And probably would have if he'd been 3 months.

But as well as a couple of noisy plastic toys, we bought useful stuff and wrapped it - things we would have bought anyway. A push along walker, which he was nearly ready for. A beautiful toy box with his name on needed to hide the plastic crap. A pair of 'proper' shoes which he needed as he was just starting walking. A push along trike thing for age 15 months + which would be (and was) lovely for the summer.

In a way, it's easier to spend a fortune on a small baby at Christmas without it being 'wasteful' - because they change so much so quickly you could probably think of 100 things you're going to buy over the coming year anyway iyswim?

If you're spending £120 on plastic tat then yes, that seems a lot for a small child to me. But not everyone does.

There is a big difference between spending a small amount on a toddler, and spending a small amount on a teenager. A toddler would be happy with one toy.

I am really struggling with all this, this year. DH has always been "5 presents each is plenty"

But he grew up with working class made good parents who basically lavished him with gifts and holidays.

I grew up pretty poor on a council estate.

My mind set has been and will be for some time I suspect, that I MUST get them a big pile of gifts or it will "look crap" and not be as exciting.

I struggle because I know he is right and that considering my Mum and others will get them around ten gifts each, that if I got 5 each, then that's a good haul.

But every year, I end up buying them between 20 and 30 things each.

I know it is wrong and silly. Help me!

Something they want, Something they need, Something to wear, Something to read

Yep. That's what I'm doing this year. Last year we went way over board and half the stuff is now just clutter for me to hide in the closet step on.

We got her one big gift that will last her until she's 5.
A couple outfits
A couple books
Some practical things
Of course stocking stuffers, or smaller gifts since toddler toys are bigger to avoid choking hazards and don't fit in stockings.

So.. I guess she's getting around 200 spent on her this year from me and DH. She's the only grandchild/niece on both sides, so she will be spoiled again this year from everyone.

I just think £120 on a 2 year old is ridiculous, but it's your money

Not if you get them gifts that will last them a while. We're getting DD (who will be almost 2 come xmas) a balance bike which will last her until she's 5. It's going to be with her a couple years, so we spend a pretty penny on it so it will last and endure the years of abuse that children inflict on their things.

Her birthday we're getting her some new furniture.

There's plenty of things you can easily spend on a toddler that exceeds 120 without it being a pile of tat.

No doubt this is a coal and satsuma comment but when I was a child/ teen I had no awareness of what presents my friends got and had nice enough stuff myself although we were single parent family.

All this spending has evolved over the last 30 years or so with the massively increased choice of consumer goods and technology. Marketing of this stuff is also more sophisticated and Chritsmas has turned into this huge annual event. Christmas jumpers, pyjamas etc it's insane !

Any calendar event that can wring more money out of people eg Mr Kipling Halloween cakes or in fact the whole Halloween thing. Or Easter which years ago would have been a couple of creme eggs and a Rowntrees egg of some sort if you were lucky now months ahead the stores have huge Easter displays etc

Its interesting that a lot of the OTT marketing of goods is aimed at children because I think parents are under more pressure to spend than mine ever were . Anyway ignore me I'm old and a bit cynical as well !

I hardly bought anything for my daughter when she was that age. I understand some people do, but they don't 'need' expensive toys or items of clothing.

The expensive thing for me having a child has undoubtedly been the cost of childcare.