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Original poster

Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

383 replies

Imchangingmyname · 20/11/2015 19:39

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

OP posts:
Original poster
Imchangingmyname · 20/11/2015 21:19

We had roadkill for Christmas dinner... Lasted all year

Mumsnet Christmas in one sentence GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
seasidesally · 20/11/2015 21:21

my ex sil years ago for christmas bought her son a Sega when they first came out,it was a couple of hundred ££££ this was approx 20yrs ago anyway she was paying it of weekly over a year so she had till the next christmas to pay it of Shock

fast forward 3 months and they sold it as they had no money,now that is very sad for DN and over stretching themselves to the limit,that i do think is wrong on their part

manicinsomniac · 20/11/2015 21:23

Of course show tickets count as presents. That's why I said I spend a ton at Christmas but that hardly any of it is apparent on Christmas Day. And yes, some would see a phone as a present. I don't - well maybe I would if it was a smart phone but I wouldn't get one of those just to enable a child to get out and about more safely. But like I said, personal choice. Everyone makes choices, nobody (well hardly anybody) can afford to have everything. No way is particularly better than the other.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 20/11/2015 21:24

I saw the APR of a pay day loan in small print on a TV ad the other day and think it was over 1500%. Credit cards are bad enough at what between 20 and 30%. Just made me think people don't know what they're getting themselves into steppemum?

UnlikelyPilgramage · 20/11/2015 21:25

In fairness, that APR isn't hugely accurate. Payday loans are designed to be paid back within a month.

StellaAlpina · 20/11/2015 21:25

I think it must be harder for parents of teens these days, I'm only 27 but when I was a teenager we just had 1 desktop for the house and my phone was a nokia 3310, - the only technology gadget I wanted was probably a £5 phone cover.

I've seen the phrase 'something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read' on twee blogs and tbh it sounds quite sensible.

seasidesally · 20/11/2015 21:26

i even include my sons xbox live yearly subscription £35 as a christmas present,but he does get £350

spritefairy · 20/11/2015 21:32

I wonder how many sneer and claim they don't spend more than £20 a child but in reality queuing up first thing in the morning for that must have present and spending £000's just so they can impress or shame other people online.

I am spending £120 on 2year old dd and £20 on 8 month old ds

UnlikelyPilgramage · 20/11/2015 21:33

No, I'm not sneering, I just think £120 on a 2 year old is ridiculous, but it's your money Smile

Mintyy · 20/11/2015 21:33

I fully understand your pov steppemum.

coffeeisnectar · 20/11/2015 21:35

I have never spent more than I could afford or gone into debt for Christmas. I had years as a lp on benefits, very ill and really struggled but my kids had nice things and I wore the same clothes for years as I simply couldn't afford to buy them. I would rather spend it on my dc, they had decent shoes, coats and presents at Christmas.

This year, as I've said on another thread, I have some money and I have gone slightly mad by buying laptops for both my dc (although not £600 ones!) Plus I've splashed out on my sdc and my dp too. I haven't spent thousands but I have bought things they will like. Next year will be back to a smaller budget.

But for once I'm doing things the way I actually want to. Because I can.

ShowOfHands · 20/11/2015 21:36

I've quite honestly answered on threads in the past. No side, no bragging, no competitiveness. We're skint all the time. Christmas is largely sponsored by the charity shop or is homemade.

I'm honest about it because I think it's important that people lurking see that you don't have to have a certain number of presents to still really, utterly, completely adore Christmas, you don't have to get in debt and you can still have children who are content with what they receive. Would they be happy if I spent ££ on them? Too bloody right. They're small human beings with a vast love for the toy shop. If I won the lottery tomorrow, would I splash out a bit? Hell YES.

I do hope that I don't come across as partaking in competitive thrifting. Honestly, I can't make a chicken last even one meal. I've eaten half of it whilst serving it up.

UnlikelyPilgramage · 20/11/2015 21:37

Actually, the more I think about it, it's the mention of money that I hate,

DD is getting a dolls house. It is actually on the expensive side - but she'll love it and that's great - but it's not 'I am spending £70 on DDs present,' just "I am getting my DD a present she will love and play with."

As above, what's wrong with 'I'm getting a laptop!' But the girl in question knew it was a £600 laptop.

It's the money I hate, not the gifts,

seasidesally · 20/11/2015 21:37

hope you all enjoy your christmas coffeeisnectar sounds like you will all have a great time

munkisocks · 20/11/2015 21:38

First Xmas with DD so she's not getting much from us as at 6 months she won't know what's going on, we treat her to a jumperoo. DH however it depends on what he wants. It could be a £300 iPad or a £5 sew on patch for his air soft camo. I never really think about the money just make sure he has a few bits he actually will enjoy. This is the first year we have nothing, being on maternity we're totally skint and I won't put us in debt. I'm actually quite happy though because it'll be the first Xmas it's not bloody materialistic and stressful asking what every bugger wants.

I do have a generous family though that are determined to buy for us even though I've stressed we can't afford it lol. Bless em.

Donge13 · 20/11/2015 21:40

I save all year and spend loads on my family. My mother and I'm using the term loosely never made any effort to make Christmas special or even to buy anything that resembled a gift, and it was shit!

5Foot5 · 20/11/2015 21:40

Is it competitive? I never really noticed. I like getting presents for my nearest and dearest and I can afford not to scrimp too much so I don't really care what anyone else does. The only thing is I try to avoid embarassing anyone by spending obviously way more on them than they can afford to on me. (Children and students excepted of course as obviously they have no budget)

Having said that I like making things and I do sometimes hanker after the sort of homespun old-fashioned type of Christmas where we give each other things we have baked, preserved, knitted or sewn. My siblings would probably go for this sort of thing but DHs would probably be horrified and think we were being tight!

myotherusernameisbetter · 20/11/2015 21:45

YANBU Hacks me off too and there has already been a thread about it which I've previously commented on. I can't get my head around why you would deliberately be mean if you cold afford to treat your childrn.

Buying children things shows them that it's nice to treat people you love and to give them pleasure.

definitelybutter1 · 20/11/2015 21:45

One year ds got over seventy books.

Is that middle class?

(sets of those thin books from the Book People, mainly, and he loved them, read them all and has had a lot of pleasure from them)

BadLad · 20/11/2015 21:49

"You spent what!? I found little jimmys present in a skip under a dead Fox!"

Little Jimmy probably got his dad socks for Christmas, so he can sod off.

nancy75 · 20/11/2015 21:51

I wonder if they had the dead fox for xmas dinner

seasidesally · 20/11/2015 21:53

and used the pelt for a scarf

nancy75 · 20/11/2015 21:59

it is all about class, I live in the land of the middle class mummy that will buy herself a chanel handbag while sending little Matilda out to play with no coat and third hand shoes with holes.

At christmas daddy treats himself to a new jag while Henry get an orange and a lump of coal under the tree.

Heaven forbid you spend more than £1.89 on Christmas.

(not in my house I hasten to add - we are working class but just happen to have a bit of money - you can always spot my kid at the school she is the one who can recognise a hairbrush and has clothes that fit her)

witsender · 20/11/2015 22:05

If you spend within your financial reach then great, crack on. I hate a whirlwind of paper and the kids rattling on from one present to the next. However we do still spend about 500 on Christmas all in, that includes presents for everyone (large-ish extended family) and travel...as we live a ferry trip away from one half of the ferry. At the moment that feels like a sensible amount although it does make me gulp a little. We could afford more, but it just sounds like so much money on stuff! Out of that about 100-150 on the kids, they are 5 and 3.

HortonWho · 20/11/2015 22:10

The girl in question knew it was a £600 laptop because she knows exactly how difficult it was for her parent to scrape the money together and she's lived with "we can't afford that honey" for so long, she doesn't even ask for things. When you grow up poor, you learn early what your parent can and cannot afford, and adjust your expectations.

And while I don't know this parent, I'm going out on a limb here and guess like most people who struggle financially, she's not a fucking idiot who went to the store wide eyed and bought the shiniest laptop available, forgetting her daughter needed a pair of shoes for the winter.