Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

383 replies

Imchangingmyname · 20/11/2015 19:39

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

OP posts:
Senpai · 22/11/2015 03:29

Well, no one is forcing anyone to buy their child a present they won't like. It's just a guideline after all. Wink

But the poem does help you get creative and think of stuff that's more than just plastic tat.

It's easy to get stuck on "Ok, I got some toys, but if I get more it'll just be clutter and I feel cheap spending this little, but I don't want to step on all this shit later them to be spoiled... what to do?"

It's nice to have some helpful suggestions so you can branch off and go "Oh! They would just love a Spiderman backpack! They'd be the coolest kid in class if I got this one with the matching lunch box that I could put a satsuma in". Grin

RabbitSaysWoof · 22/11/2015 08:10

I thought of this thread last night when my friend was gushing about her ds and how he is not greedy and expecting at Christmas and will probably get one present.
She is the parent who pops out for milk and comes back with milk and two new toys because her kid was "good at the shop".
Most kids I know have a similar amount if stuff, we just have different excuses to give it, and for some it's the GP's giving most treats.

witsender · 22/11/2015 08:14

I was reminded of this:
lulastic.co.uk/parenting/sixty-great-gift-alternatives-to-toys/

popperdoodles · 22/11/2015 08:34

We try to spend as little as possible at Christmas because firstly we have 2 with birthdays in November and one in January
Secondly we have a big family who all buy for them so they can end up with far too much. Thirdly we tend to buy things they 'need' throughout the year.
We shop carefully. Looking for good deals, discounts. Use vouchers and reward points up. We try to make Christmas about the whole experience rather than the whole focus being on what santa will bring Christmas morning.
Competitive spending or competitive not spending is annoying and boring and tbh all relative. Personally I think most kids get too much based on the boasts Facebook pictures people post of Xmas eve but that's their business

fuzzpig · 22/11/2015 09:48

Agree it's not on to be competitive and smug, whether that's about £1000 or £10 spent.

I go a bit overboard on Christmas spending TBH because like others here I'm making up for the crap, unhappy Christmases of my (generally dysfunctional) childhood. I often didn't get a present from my parents as mum would say "you get things throughout the year" or if she gave me something she would hand it over with the words "if you don't like it, I'll have it". It wasn't about the lack of stuff, it was just that I'd have liked them to actually think about who I was and what I'd like. I mean my mum really. My dad, while he never ever gave or chose a present at Christmas, would very occasionally just pick up something like a book or CD at a random time and give me it 'just because' and that would always be completely perfect and showed that he 'got me' IYSWIM. So it is very important to me that I spend a lot of time really thinking about what my DCs will love.

This is the first year I've actually written down all spends as I go, and it's definitely making me think twice before buying, but they'll still end up with a lot of things to open. No big ticket items planned this year (they've had a big Playmobil set for the last few years, but there's no more room) so I don't think we will get the 'wow factor' but hopefully things they'll enjoy and get lots of use out of. I don't like tat but don't entirely avoid it either - some of the presents they get are quite 'worthy' Blush (did a basket of naice wooden percussion instruments one year, which has been used so much recently that I'm adding to it this year) but I'm not making them all like that, I always make sure I buy a couple of things that I don't approve of... after all it helps prove that Santa exists because mummy and daddy would never buy that... :o

derxa · 22/11/2015 11:50

witsender Looked this up lulastic.co.uk/ and she seems like the ultimate MNetter.

Enjolrass · 22/11/2015 13:10

I jut had a satsuma

One of the kids will just have to have coal this year Grin

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/11/2015 13:18

You could have grated the skin and given them zest? or stick it in a glittery dolmio jar and sell it on FB?

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/11/2015 13:19

...or melted some crayons around it and made a satsuma scented candle?

Studded the leftover skin with cloves and hung it on the Christmas tree - or given it as a gift to your Mum?

Enjolrass · 22/11/2015 13:33

I could....but I don't want the to be spoiled

Like the selling on FB idea though Wink

PantsOfGold · 22/11/2015 13:33

I was brought up by my dad, who hated consumerism and the 'greed' of Christmas (and birthdays, for that matter). If he gave us gifts, they were educational. I still remember the year I wanted a Sindy wardrobe and instead, got a set of Encylopaedia Brittanica. There was no excitement or joy in opening that present.

I try and choose the presents carefully - things that they will actually use and enjoy. But I do go a bit overboard. They have to save for anything they want throughout the rest of the year.

LimboNovember · 22/11/2015 13:36

nd therefore there is not the pressure to create the perfect day in terms of presents

I dont feel pressure, I feel pure joy knowing am going to get things they will love

EmmaT169 · 22/11/2015 15:08

I've not noticed the competitive Xmas frugal type threads but I have seen ones that practically scream oh look at me and how much I've spent on my children, and these are annoying. It happens in real life too and especially in my dh's familf, they all try and out do each other which I find kind of sad but also kind of comical.

ProjectPerfect · 22/11/2015 18:55

You've not been paying attention then emma

The worthy ones are so joyless At least those of us that like going ott couldn't give a fuck what anyone else does or thinks. Whereas the miserly bastards are so sanctimoneous and smug in their need to convince everyone they are doing what is right and proper

Enjolrass · 22/11/2015 19:02

There are some of the thrifty ones appeared on this very thread.

Merguez · 22/11/2015 19:10

The points is surely that you buy presents your children will enjoy and appreciate and love. Not how expensive the present is. And if your child measures the value of their presents in financial terms, then you haven't done a great job at parenting.

Back to the coal and satsumas now.

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/11/2015 19:26

Whereas the miserly bastards are so sanctimoneous and smug in their need to convince everyone they are doing what is right and proper

That's because the also use that to justify what they are doing, same with the godawful poem.

And as for the point that it (the poem) helps people to remember that they can buy other stuff than toys...wtf, are people really that thick?

Okay, mentioning no prices or values, but a typical "pile" at Christmas in my house for a 7/8 year old would be:

Something for exercise/fresh air: Scooter/ball/pogo stick
Pyjamas and maybe slippers/dressing gown depending on what they needed.
Books as they enjoyed reading including an annual/Guinness book of records
Maybe a new mug for hot chocolate or pop corn maker or something useful
A soft toy/blanket to snuggle with
Maybe a CD or audio book
Some type of gadget probably electronic (this is probably likely to be their main gift)
A new video game or two (possibly used)
Chocolate/Crisp type treats
Some toys from their list e.g. Lego, remote control car etc
A board game
Maybe a new duvet set with a character on it
A poster or picture for their wall.

And a stocking with the usual gubbins in (satsuma, apple, chocolate coins, some puzzles, sweets, small toys/games and a comic)

Plenty of variety, not all toys or tat, all things that they would enjoy. Probably includes all the elements of the poem if I look at it objectively and clearly not rocket science.

Some people just like to suck the joy from everything.

Enjolrass · 22/11/2015 19:29

The points is surely that you buy presents your children will enjoy and appreciate and love. Not how expensive the present is. And if your child measures the value of their presents in financial terms, then you haven't done a great job at parenting.

So kids only enjoy cheap gifts or we did a rubbish job at parenting? Confused

Merguez · 22/11/2015 19:46

No, Enjolrass. But kids should be capable of enjoying presents regardless of their cost. And not be judging them only on their cost.

Enjolrass · 22/11/2015 19:48

But kids should be capable of enjoying presents regardless of their cost. And not be judging them only on their cost.

where has anyone said anything like that?

Not one person has said 'I spend X amount because if I don't my child will feel unloved' Confused

Original poster
Imchangingmyname · 22/11/2015 19:48

I'm glad I started this thread purely for the laughs it has given me. How did I miss this classic?!

Maryz I can make a turkey last a year. On Christmas day we have a drumstick between the five of us (other relatives share a wing). We then have 360 days of curries, stirfries and pasta bakes, followed by a week of soup and chewing the bones.

GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Senpai · 22/11/2015 19:57

And as for the point that it (the poem) helps people to remember that they can buy other stuff than toys...wtf, are people really that thick?

But then you proceed to make a list that includes stuff from said poem:

  • duvet cover
  • books
  • pajamas
  • mug/popcorn maker/something useful.

It's not that I forget I can buy things, it's useful as inspiration, because it is easy to go over board on toys and tat.

But I wouldn't get all smug when you do the same damn thing as everyone else reciting the poem. Hmm

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/11/2015 20:06

Senpai - care to actually read?

Probably includes all the elements of the poem if I look at it objectively and clearly not rocket science.

However, the point is that you don't just buy one thing that the child wants - even if you dress up the other points by buying a dress up outfit or character top and a book they enjoy and something they need that they like, you ar still limiting the list to one thing that they actually want. that's the mean part and a lot of people don't interperate it the same way judging by the threads - that's what I mean by sucking the joy and why it's awful to spout the poem

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/11/2015 20:10

It's the people who use the poem to justify buying their child a toy, a toothbrush, a pair of shoes and a dictionary that I am talking about.

Senpai · 22/11/2015 20:29

It's the people who use the poem to justify buying their child a toy, a toothbrush, a pair of shoes and a dictionary that I am talking about.

But do people actually do that?

I hear about it only on MN where everyone is bullshitting anyway, but I've yet to meet anyone who's child actually gets a single toy on Christmas. Even our broke ass friends get their child a decent haul.

The only time I really hear it in practice is when having kids write their lists so the parents know what toy they really want instead of a bunch of random crap they thought of in 5 minutes. Then the kids get what's on the list plus what the parents actually wanted to get them from Santa/FC.