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Original poster

Competitive Christmas thriftiness on MN

383 replies

Imchangingmyname · 20/11/2015 19:39

Just something I've noticed over the last few weeks on MN.

There seems to be a lot of competitive comments regarding how little you can spend on your kids. Let's be honest here, stuff costs. Whether that's plastic tat for the baby or an iPad for the teenager but mostly: Kids. Expect. Presents. At. Christmas. Don't they?

There's far too much of 'you spend £100 at Christmas!!??? I spend max £10 on little Jimmy and that's more than enough. I also throw in some chestnuts and a clementine on top of that'

Or 'mine is happy with our certificate for adopting a donkey for a year'

Really??! I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone too far, granted but most kids I know would be upset if they didn't have at least a few presents to open on the day. I've noticed it's mainly from those who have the budget but refuse to spend to..somehow appear holier than thou??

OP posts:
squoosh · 23/11/2015 12:35

The feeling that people need to spend more is far more contagious than the feeling that people should spend less.

myotherusernameisbetter · 23/11/2015 12:36

I think you are taking the word "danger" too far tbh. It's clear it's not meant in the way of it's a hazardous thing to do, it was meant more in the conversational way, as in "the danger with poaching your eggs in the oven is that they sometimes get a bit crispy at the edges"

whois · 23/11/2015 13:18

I think with some families they spend on their dc when they need something, be it a bike or sports equipment etc and Christmas is a much more low key affair

That's how it was with my dimly growing up. We got a new bike in the summer when we grew out of our old ones so there wasn't a huge gift like at Christmas. Also we used to go abroad at Christmas a lot so then we would just get stockings.

cleaty · 23/11/2015 13:30

We would get one big present at Christmas like a bike, or dolls house, or train set. Everything else was small stocking filler type toys. We got virtually nothing the rest of the year.

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/11/2015 13:34

I've read threads where people say a bike isn't a 'proper' Christmas present as it's an essential.

HeadDreamer · 23/11/2015 13:37

I don't talk smug, but I fail to see why you need to buy plastic tat for baby. He's not going to know, is he?

We are buying something under £10 for my 1yo because my 4yo will feel sad if her sister doesn't get anything. We didn't get anything for DD1 at that age. She's perfectly happy with wrapping paper. We had pictures of her opening DH's presents. She didn't know it's not for her. It was pants for DH.

I don't understand the idea of big ticket items for christmas at all. DD1 got a bike already this year, because it makes more sense to buy it in spring. She's got a new doll house, and a new train set. Fact is, she gets toys all the time during the year. And what's that non sense with pyjamas? I got new fleecy pyjamas at the beginning of winter!

HeadDreamer · 23/11/2015 13:39

Same with the tablet too. I got the hudl 2 when it came out and gave it to DD1 back then. What's the point of waiting till christmas. Don't get it.

And FWIW, we only bought a £2.99 doll pushchair for DD1 so far, and that's when sainsbury had a toy sale earlier this month. We will probably get some craft kit to get her occupied. Her presents through out the year is much bigger than what she gets for christmas.

HotterWok · 23/11/2015 13:44

I just bought DC a solid gold, diamond studded toilet to sit on... What do you mean low class?

fuzzpig · 23/11/2015 13:46

The feeling that people need to spend more is far more contagious than the feeling that people should spend less.

Definitely agree with that.

seasidesally · 23/11/2015 13:57

but if you buy throughout the year bikes,tablets etc dosent that make them in general spoilt

atleast a good pile of presents and not being constantly bought things throughout the year does make Christmas really special as it should be

DisneyMillie · 23/11/2015 13:59

We're a solidly middle class household.

But I love Christmas (and all the tackiness that goes with it - tinsel for the tree etc) and my dd is likely to get a large pile of presents. I don't get the competitiveness either way - just do what makes you happy and who cares about anything else.

nancy75 · 23/11/2015 14:01

Stuff does not make children spoilt, parents that don't teach their children how to behave make children spoilt.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 23/11/2015 14:02

If my dc ask for something expensive through the year like a bike or new phone I tell them to ask Santa or wait for their birthday so that's likely why I spend a fair bit at Christmas. I wonder if many of the frugal types do it the other way?

cleoteacher · 23/11/2015 14:03

I am one of those people who save big gifts until Xmas/birthday. Ds are close together so he gets loads of stuff and then not much else all year round. I think it's nice to get kids big presents for occasions and it means something rather than just buying something half way through the year when it doesn't mean anything. I think it makes is more special than just being brought it whenever .

Just my opinion though and I guess it's very influenced by my own childhood as that was the way it was for my sisters and I.

Ds is getting a bike £150 plus but we sold his old balance bike he never used for £105 so only £45 really. Dd is only 9 mo so doesn't need anything so got clothes which I would be buying anyway as she moves to the next size up.
Each to their own I think.

cleoteacher · 23/11/2015 14:05

Stuff does make a child spoilet. It can make them have a certain attitude. It's not their behaviour which shows they are but their attitude. Different things.

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/11/2015 14:05

'Stuff does not make children spoilt'

Stuff sometimes does create spoilt children.

HeadDreamer · 23/11/2015 14:08

seasidesally what I'm saying is confirming what other poster has already said. There are people who don't see why you need to save up all the gifts for Christmas. I fail to see why a bike should be given in the deep winter when spring and summer is the best weather for cycling. i got the hudl 2 when I did because DD1 kept using my iPad and the hudl2 launched.

Why would a child be more spoiled if the gifts are received through out the year instead of all in one day?

They also get a gift from MIL. We have a small family so there isn't going to have a lot of gifts.

It's not competitive smug thriftiness. Maybe others do spend very little because essential gifts are given as when needed.

seasidesally · 23/11/2015 14:08

stuff does make a child spoilt

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 23/11/2015 14:09

I am always glad to read it. Otherwise you could end up thinking that spending something like £900 (as one OP's friend did) is the norm. I don't like to overspend on Christmas. But then as both my dc have winter birthdays, I like to keep some money in order to buy an outdoor toy or whatever in the summer, i.e. not for Xmas or birthday.

For instance, when DD got a bicycle it wasn't for Christmas or birthday, as we bought it when it was wanted at Springtime. Also we got our trampoline with Tesco points and bought that in the summer.

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/11/2015 14:11

Which deep winters are people living in? I've never had a problem cycling in December.

HeadDreamer · 23/11/2015 14:12

Just my opinion though and I guess it's very influenced by my own childhood as that was the way it was for my sisters and I.

Well it's just different family traditions. My DB and I always got stuff through out the year, as and when it's needed. Bikes, computers, school bags, trainers, etc. I never felt deprived. (Which is what I think this thread is about). Not sure if I felt spoilt growing. But I always know my parents are well off. Kids always know anyway.

HeadDreamer · 23/11/2015 14:16

mitzy Which deep winters are people living in? I've never had a problem cycling in December.

The south coast of England Grin

You are made of sturdier stuff then us. We got DD1 her first bike back in March. She's learned to ride it over the summer.

Also, presents don't account fro all the spending around christmas. We are also going to Paulton's park to see Santa (and hence peppa pig world), and I'm going to get tickets for a panto. There's enough to fill all the days without a lot of presents.

I see it more as a long holiday, where we plan to do things as a family.

cleoteacher · 23/11/2015 14:20

I agree , think it depends on your own experiences and traditions growing up. Ds gets small things through the year when needed in terms of clothes etc but big, expensive toys are given at Christmas or birthdays. I like to have an occasion to give it on.

I think children are more likely to be spoilt if they get big presents all year round just brought for them as it becomes meaningless and it's just another present. Whereas, if you wait until Christmas/birthday it's an occasion and it's being given as part of a bigger celebration. However, I am not saying all these children are spoilt because of it. It depends on attitude and guess sets more of an expectation that they will get lots of expensive presents all year round which could lead to them having a more spoilt attitude.

Enjolrass · 23/11/2015 14:21

There's enough to fill all the days without a lot of presents.

And there is lots to do when there are lots of presents.

Again buying more presents does not mean people do do anything with their children

myotherusernameisbetter · 23/11/2015 14:25

Agree, stuff doesn't make children spoilt at all.

When my boys were pre school and early primary, a bike for Christmas would have been exciting for them and would be a present - probably more for birthday in the summer rather than Christmas tbf. As they got older, a bike was simply a mode of transport and was therefore replaced as required, it wouldn't be seen as something they wanted, just a necessity. They last got new bikes when they were about 11 and we've not needed to replace them yet (age 15/14). Scooters are similar.

We do have some gifts given through the year, but luckily birthdays are in the summer so we have a fairly good half year split.

They get a lot for Christmas - they are not spoilt.