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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dogs and Grandchildren

129 replies

Lucaslovesfelicity · 20/11/2015 12:40

So, went to visit my mum yesterday who has two large dogs. She absolutely dotes on them and often refers to them has her babies ( she has 3 human babies, as well as 5 human grand children) Wink). I find this all very strange but go along with it.... It's her house, her rules. Anyway, the dogs have absolute free reign of the house and are allowed to sleep in bed at night with both herself and her husband. Everyday, the dogs are cooked a fresh roast chicken dinner..No dog food passes their lips), they are allowed on the furniture and often do try sit at the doing table during meals!! She passes food and drink down to them on plates and mugs from the table..... Ewwwww. I've even caught her emptying out my DD left over formula milk into a bowl to give to the dog, as her baby enjoys it too Confused I have to watch my 4 month when we visit, has she doesn't discourage the dogs from going over to the baby to lick her face. She simply says the dogs think they are human and want to give my LO kiss.... definitely not!! Anyway, the news was on last night which spoke about the police dog that got blew up in Paris. I said to her that although it was sad, it would have been far worse if it had been another human that had been killed. She disagreed and said to me that to her, dogs are on the same level as humans and in fact better than some Hmm I told her that I didn't agree and asked if one of the grandchild was in a house fire along with her dogs or in a situation where a dog had to risk it's life to aid the family, surely the dogs life couldn't be put on the same level as her families? She didn't answer and just went quiet. She went on to say that unless I was a dog owner myself, I wouldn't understand the situation. AIBU to be offended that my kids and my mums dogs are views the same Confused

OP posts:
Sugarsugar123 · 20/11/2015 17:45

Some people rely on their dogs as a family. I previously worked with individuals with mental illness. Their dogs were a reason to get up, get out of the house and have unrequited love where family members disagreed/argued with their life choices. Sometimes they are easier/ happier company. I also worked with children and lovely dogs visited with pets for therapy, they loved it and opened up to the dogs (sometimes) more than people!
I am very precious over dogs but (this sounds awful) no where near as attached to the stinking hamster, he's cute but he doesn't bring much to my life apart from sawdust and smell.

MascaraAndConverse89 · 21/11/2015 08:41

Why do people get so offended when they realise not everyone likes their dog? Or dogs in general?

BlueBlueSea · 21/11/2015 08:58

YANBU

My DM has always had dogs, and my kids grew up with them. DD was scared of dogs up to the age of 2, would scream if one came near her, she would climb me to get away from them. My mother would shut the dogs away if we came over as she did not want DD distressed. DD (13) now loves dogs.

One of DM's much loved retrievers became a bit aggressive as he got older. The vet said it was age, but be careful and not to let him around children. DM explained that she had GC and could not take a risk with their safety and the vet put the dog down.

Children's safety should come first.

Ememem84 · 21/11/2015 09:07

I love dogs. But I don't particularly enjoy being jumped on/at by other people's dogs.

Last Christmas we were having lunch and Dhs cousins dog jumped on my lap while I was eating. And stayed there.

No one moved him. I put him down. He jumped back up. This happened twice.

I was laughed at. Then accused of being a dog hater. I'm not. But just wanted to eat my lunch without a dog on my lap.

iminshock · 21/11/2015 10:10

I utterly LOATHE your mums attitude to dogs. I know a few people like that and avoid them . bloody barking mad

iminshock · 21/11/2015 10:10

what mascara said

MidniteScribbler · 21/11/2015 10:27

I have no idea why people need to keep pushing this topic with animal lovers. It's like they see it as some sort of challenge to try and get the animal lover to either admit that humans are more important than their pet, of they do admit they love their pet more than some humans then they can sneer at them.

I'd rescue my pet over any twat that insisted on debating this topic with me.

Toughasoldboots · 21/11/2015 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toughasoldboots · 21/11/2015 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MidniteScribbler · 21/11/2015 10:40

It's a bit like forcing someone to choose which of their children they would save first from a burning house. Go on, you know you must like one of your children more than the others. You can't possibly love them all equally, there has to be one that you'd save first. Which child is more important to you?

Branleuse · 21/11/2015 11:12

absolutely nuts the anthropomorphisation of dogs and cats that some people have. Id suggest it was a mental health issue.
We have dogs and cats, and tbh, before I had children, my dog was my baby, but after children came along, dogs are just dogs. I love my animals and care about them, but they are pets.
My dp is a massive sap over dogs (theyre his dogs really, not mine) and loves his dogs more than he loves pretty much most people, but if I ever thought he loved them more than the children or even put them at the same level, then I think there was something seriously wrong in his head. wow

maybebabybee · 21/11/2015 11:33

*It's like they see it as some sort of challenge to try and get the animal lover to either admit that humans are more important than their pet, of they do admit they love their pet more than some humans then they can sneer at them.

I'd rescue my pet over any twat that insisted on debating this topic with me.*

Yes. This.

Also, I don't get offended by people who don't like animals. I just feel sorry for them. And their DC. My SIL is hysterical about animals, with the result that my DN now is too.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 21/11/2015 11:49

Yes, Midnite, exactly.

CrabbyCockwomble · 21/11/2015 11:52

Why do people get so offended when they realise not everyone likes their dog? Or dogs in general?

Mascara I find people get quite offended when they realise that not everyone likes their child, or children in general. Much the same thing, I'd imagine.

srslylikeomg · 21/11/2015 12:33

I like animals but I just don't understand the attitude that they are equal to or more important than humans. They are not. I would be so upset if my DM even hinted that her dogs would take priority over her grandchildren- what a bizarre attitude. YANBU at all OP.

Timri · 21/11/2015 12:38

I'm not really an animal person, but dogs are pretty fucking amazing, look at how many dogs have saved people etc. They are fiercely loyal, and yes dogs grieve.
Cats on the other hand....

PiperChapstick · 21/11/2015 12:42

Is this thread going to turn into that horrible Animal vs Humans thread a while back where people claimed they'd save their animals over their DP and DC?

OP your mum IBU it's awful for her to ponder who she'd save in that situation. My mum told me she didn't love her kids anymore than she loves her dog Hmm I find this total over-adoration for pets very bizarre TBH

PiperChapstick · 21/11/2015 12:43

Crabby disliking an animal is not the same thing at all as disliking a fellow human or set of humans

passmethewineplease · 21/11/2015 12:52

piper did people really say that? Shock

I just can't imagine saving an animal before my actual babies/children.

OP YANBU. Your mother isn't treating her dogs like dogs. And personally I don't think that's right. As for dogs licking off the plate Shock that's just gross.

PIL dog has never really been trained, he's a pain in the arse but at least it isn't his fault. Poor sod.

DontStopBelievin · 21/11/2015 12:53

My exMIL locked me in a room with the dogs (two large, strong retrievers) to 'get over my fear' and it got to the point where I was crying and screaming to be let out after being backed into a corner by them. Awful woman really

Shock Awful woman doesn't even begin to cover. Thank God she's now your ex MIL. There's no way I'd have set foot in her house again. What an absolute bitch, and I don't use that word lightly.

Timri · 21/11/2015 12:56

passmethewine
One of my friends said she would save an animal before a baby in a burning house. Her reasoning? 'Well, everyone else would save the baby'
I didn't get it

PiperChapstick · 21/11/2015 12:58

passme

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1899818-Animals-vs-humans-round-2

On person said in a fire they'd save, in this order, their horse, DP then DC Shock

amarmai · 21/11/2015 12:59

yanbu op and you got your answer when your m said nothing . So sorry for that realisation.

CrabbyCockwomble · 21/11/2015 13:11

it's awful for her to ponder who she'd save in that situation.
The OP demanded that she ponder it, Piper, by asking her outright.

Best not to ask the question that you don't want to hear the answer to, imo. Lots of upset would be saved if people took that on board.

CrabbyCockwomble · 21/11/2015 13:11

Piper why not?