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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dogs and Grandchildren

129 replies

Lucaslovesfelicity · 20/11/2015 12:40

So, went to visit my mum yesterday who has two large dogs. She absolutely dotes on them and often refers to them has her babies ( she has 3 human babies, as well as 5 human grand children) Wink). I find this all very strange but go along with it.... It's her house, her rules. Anyway, the dogs have absolute free reign of the house and are allowed to sleep in bed at night with both herself and her husband. Everyday, the dogs are cooked a fresh roast chicken dinner..No dog food passes their lips), they are allowed on the furniture and often do try sit at the doing table during meals!! She passes food and drink down to them on plates and mugs from the table..... Ewwwww. I've even caught her emptying out my DD left over formula milk into a bowl to give to the dog, as her baby enjoys it too Confused I have to watch my 4 month when we visit, has she doesn't discourage the dogs from going over to the baby to lick her face. She simply says the dogs think they are human and want to give my LO kiss.... definitely not!! Anyway, the news was on last night which spoke about the police dog that got blew up in Paris. I said to her that although it was sad, it would have been far worse if it had been another human that had been killed. She disagreed and said to me that to her, dogs are on the same level as humans and in fact better than some Hmm I told her that I didn't agree and asked if one of the grandchild was in a house fire along with her dogs or in a situation where a dog had to risk it's life to aid the family, surely the dogs life couldn't be put on the same level as her families? She didn't answer and just went quiet. She went on to say that unless I was a dog owner myself, I wouldn't understand the situation. AIBU to be offended that my kids and my mums dogs are views the same Confused

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 20/11/2015 15:37

dogs are on the same level as humans and in fact better than some Hmm

So you disagree that a loving loyal family dog is a better soul than a rapist? What a strange viewpoint.

Greyhorses · 20/11/2015 15:39

I think it's up to your Mil what she does with her own dogs.

I also prefer my dogs to most people...

Sugarsugar123 · 20/11/2015 15:39

I love my dog not as much as DD but he is very much part of the family. He does eat dog food but apart from that life kind of revolves around him. I wouldn't go out all day leaving him stuck indoors I need to book day care /walkers etc so it is a bit like a hairy baby commitment wise! DD is a delightful teenage age and it's lovely to see my doggy he's always pleased to see me and full of joy he really cheers me up! So YABU (only a bit) but I would put myself in danger to save him (have previously taken on a large dog to get him released from jaws). Someone witnessed said "you should never get involved " like I was going to watch him being shaken about like a rag doll the noise still haunts me!
Shit reading that I really am a crazy dog woman.

budgiegirl · 20/11/2015 15:39

I do agree though, that you mum can treat her dogs however she likes, as long as it doesn't put anyone in danger. I would ask her not to allow the dogs to lick your child though, that's quite horrible.

maybebabybee · 20/11/2015 15:43

I occasionally feed my cat bits of meat but if I am having a dinner with visitors I shut her out of the way so she doesn't bother us. Common sense really.

I would no more shut my cats away from guests than I would shut my baby away! Unless they were allergic. It's my cats' home Hmm

Owllady · 20/11/2015 15:46

Wtf is the dog v rapist post

unicornbreath · 20/11/2015 15:46

I love my cat to bits but it's not very nice having a cat clambering up onto the table and begging for your food whilst you're trying to eat a meal with friends or family. Not hospitable at all. I don't understand why people are so open having their pets around people eating Confused

maybebabybee · 20/11/2015 15:49

My point was that I wouldn't shut my baby away if people found him distasteful, so I wouldn't shut my cat away either.

I imagine, for instance, that many people find watching a toddler eat pretty grim (spaghetti on head etc etc), but it would obviously be unreasonable to insist they were shut away to do so so they didn't gross out the guests.

unicornbreath · 20/11/2015 15:53

But cats and dogs are animals? I wouldn't be inclined to eat my food whilst having monkeys or ferrets climbing over me going after my food so why should I have to do the same with cats and dogs. I only shut her out when there is food being eaten or there is someone that is allergic or doesn't like cats as its respectful.

maybebabybee · 20/11/2015 15:55

I wouldn't be inclined to eat my food whilst having monkeys or ferrets climbing over me going after my food so why should I have to do the same with cats and dogs.

I would love to have a monkey Grin

I agree re: allergies but no I do not shut my cat away from those who simply don't like cats as I don't see why I should. It's her home.

I see no difference between animals and babies in that respect.

unicornbreath · 20/11/2015 15:59

Someone that genuinely has a fear shouldn't have to be sat there scared whilst visiting me. My midwife is scared of cats as she had a bad experience with one, I wouldn't expect her to sit in the room with my cat harmless one or not. Everyone other than my exMIL respected the fact I've been mauled by a dog so am therefore scared of them and made sure they were away from me.

Owllady · 20/11/2015 16:04

I think everyone has had a bad experience with a cat Confused

unicornbreath · 20/11/2015 16:05

It's like being invited somewhere for Christmas or whatever and having to sit in a different room to everyone and eat your dinner whilst the dog/cat can have free roam where people are eating because it makes you feel uncomfortable. I often had to sit upstairs to eat my food at my exMILs because she refused to put the dogs somewhere else for 30 minutes. Priorities were a bit wrong there. Hence why she is an exMIL

StarsAndSpots · 20/11/2015 16:07

My lovely SIL has two dogs and no children. Her dogs are her babies. She treats them like OP's mum does and when I announced I was pregnant with DS she said "You need to make sure the baby doesn't try and grab the dogs." She also wanted me to go to a class with her on dogs and babies and what we need to do to make sure the dogs are still ok when the baby came. I didn't go. When DS was born we asked SIL to leave dogs at home when she came to visit, she didn't come.

We were discussing the Paris attack at the weekend and I said I would fall to pieces in a situation like that. DH said he would concentrate on keeping DS safe. SIL said the same about the dogs. She then said "I'd obviously take care of dogs over (DS' name)." When she saw our horrified faces she just said "Well, they're MY babies aren't they? And they were here first." She was being deadly serious. I know it's a completely hypothetical scenario so I can't be too offended but she really did mean it!

Branleuse · 20/11/2015 16:15

your mum is bonkers

goodnightdarthvader1 · 20/11/2015 16:18

owl the OP made a Hmm face at the idea that some animals are better than some people. I'm asking the OP if she genuinely thinks a rapist (for example) is "better" (just because he's human) than a loving family dog is.

KissingFish · 20/11/2015 16:25

I don't think anyone has actually said a dog should be rescued before a child Confused

KissingFish · 20/11/2015 16:28

This is the best way I can describe this, hopefully it makes sense...

On a scale of one to ten, 10 being the most. I love my child 10 and I love my dog 10.

Some people would say child 10, dog 5 and would therefore think that by saying I love my dog the same as I love my child that I only love my child 5.

I don't love my child less than anyone else, I just love my dog more than some people do and judge her life to worth the same as any (decent) human.

Owllady · 20/11/2015 17:04

Oh ok goodnight!
My dog would save us all before herself, so it's a hypothetical argument innit kissing :o

MissingPanda · 20/11/2015 17:20

If my house was on fire, I would dash in to save my children and my dog and cat. It wouldn't be one or the other.

If somebody else's house was on fire I wouldn't be dashing inside at all.

Toughasoldboots · 20/11/2015 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toughasoldboots · 20/11/2015 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/11/2015 17:28

Ok perspective:

My dog died - i was hysterical, upset for days, i loved that bloody dog. After a while i got over it, but i still have a little cry from time to time.

My mum's next door neighbour died - i felt sad and sorry for their family - i didn't love them though.

Toughasoldboots · 20/11/2015 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/11/2015 17:30

Budgiegirl - in response to your response to my post Grin Yes. Totally agree. Also, as much as i love my dogs, if there was a human being (any human being) in a house burning down i would save them before my dogs. Even though it would kill me to do so.

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