To never allow another sleep over

[OnTheEdgeToday]

I dont do sleepovers, but he had begged to sleep at his friends house and so i let his friend sleep lastnight.
I woke up at 8am from someone going up and down the stairs. I get up and my son was not letting his friend in his room.
They had been practicing wrestling moves on each other and my son got hurt and so took to his bedroom in a huff.
He had put his bed infront of his door and was refusing to give his friends clothes.
I eventually got his friends clothes but my son was still refusing to come out. I set friend up with the tv downstairs and offered breakfast and stuff.

Now my son has fallen asleep and friend is playing on my computer.
He did call his mum, but has decided to stay for a bit in the hope my son is in a better mood when he wakes up.
I knew a sleepover was a bad idea.
Friend said they didnt sleep at all lastnight, so that is probably why my son is so moody this morning

How old is your son?

I think if you didn't wake up until 8 am it's a successful sleepover!

I guess you have a point 987flowers lol.

My son is 11

I think your son is behaving quite badly.

He needs waking up and be made to apologise.

Did you not hear any of this going on?

They werent loud, and they had came downstairs to do it.
They had both been doing it to each other, only my son ended up getting hurt - at which point he has taken himself away from the situation to cool off...and fall asleep!

That is how my son handles things if he gets upset or hurt. He likes to be alone.

I dont think it was fair for his friend to be left and made to feel uncomfortable. Which is why i think it is best to never allow another sleep over.
His friend has gone home now

You can stop future sleep overs but it's just avoiding the problem rather than dealing with it.

I have a son around the same age, and we can really see the men he and his friends are going to become start to blossom. Maybe have a chat about how to deal with situations like this in the future. What if they'd been at the friend's house, how would he have dealt with it then?

Blimy your 11 year old is being a bit precious! I thought you were talking about a 6 year old. hammer on his bloody door, make him get up, apologies and not be so rude to guests. is he an only child?

I would be cross if I was the parent of the other boy. I wouldn't let him sleep at yours again and wouldn't go all out to encourage friendship either.

At 11 he is old enough to understand that if HE has a guest then HE is responsible for making that guest feel welcome and happy.

Saying you will never allow another sleep over doesn't really deal with the problem of a child who should know about basic courtesy.

You can manage sleepovers. send them upstairs around 8 or 9 with snacks and films then look in about midnight turn everything off including wifi. set your own alarm for early in the morning so that you can keep an eye on what happens when they are awake.

Your son was very rude to leave his friend. I honestly can't believe you just let him stay in his room!

Tell your 11 year old to sort himself out! I presumed he was about 7!

You many not be unreasonable to allow any other sleepovers after this one but YABU to allow your son to act in this way.

You'd be well advised to discourage your son from "handling things" in this manner when he's upset.

It's simply rude when hosting a friend.

An 11 year old behaves like this! I think you're being very precious with hoping he wakes up in a better mood, how about making him apologise to his friend for such a spoilt and OTT reaction and explaining that this is the consequence for staying up all night and for play fighting?

The sleepover is the least of your worries, seriously, who allows their child to treat a guest like that?

Sorry but that's ridiculous behaviour from an 11 year old. My ds had sleepovers from age 6 and I never encountered anything like this. Rather than banning future ones you should teach him better social skills.

I can't believe that you left your son to sleep.

His poor friend.

I don't think future sleepovers will be a problem!

Sorry but going off in a huff and behaving badly is not 'handling things'. What he did was not taking some time to cool off or calm down, it was having a strop.

How will he learn to resolve arguments & conflicts as an adult if storming off and sulking is 'handling it'.

Let's hope his friend doesn't tell everyone at school

I think your son has behaved badly. Sleepovers aren't really the problem, but he should be more courteous to his guest and accept if you wrestle with someone there's a chance someone will get hurt. I think you should wake him up and make him apologise

"They had both been doing it to each other, only my son ended up getting hurt - at which point he has taken himself away from the situation to cool off...and fall asleep!

That is how my son handles things if he gets upset or hurt. He likes to be alone. "

Not sure where taking the other child's clothes & refusing to give them back ties in with this statement? It sounds like you've popped your rose-tinted glasses on a bit here....

Tough one.

My ds would react exactly the same way - in fact purely having someone disturb his routine is enough to send him off alone to cool. He is an early riser and poor sleeper - and would likely wake his guest up early.

My DS has asd and dyspraxia which explains his behaviour but doesn't excuse it - it's why I wouldn't have a sleepover so can see why you'd stop your DS having anymore for a while.

?

He needs to handle things differently when it directly affects someone else. How rude.

Youarentkiddingme - unless we have a massive dripfeed going on then it doesn't sound like that's the issue.

Last night my DD had a birthday sleepover and invited 5 friends. It was brill, a few petty arguments but they all slept, kept quiet, tidied up and got up around 7. Sounds like your lad had a bit of a sulk.
Can't believe you've got to the age of 11 without him having a mate sleep!
Perhaps he needs more practice and I'm very jealous of your 8am wake up!

The issue isn't the sleepover. The issue is your son being rude to his guest and getting in a toddler strop when things didn't go his way. You should have managed the situation. And why on earth did they get NO sleep? Did you just leave them to their own devices all night??

I would be furious and embarrassed in your position. To say that I would not have allowed my son to fall back to sleep is an understatement to say the least.

In the guests position my DS would have been extremely upset and embarrassed but holding it in to be polite.

Once this story gets out amongst the other mums I'd be surprised if many future invitations are forthcoming to be honest.

he put his bed across the door!...and then wouldnt give the friend his clothes!....i would be surprised if the best friend sticks around!

That is not the way for your son to be treating a guest/friend on a sleepover and both you and he know it...

An apology is in order from your son to his guest. Although as another poster said maybe this friend won't be a friend for much longer after this incident.