to not send my girls on this school trip because of my beliefs

[JustGiveMeTwoMinutes]

The trip is to a mosque and the girls (year 3 and 4) have to cover their heads with a scarf, the boys don't have to.

Just to be clear about where I am coming from, this is about a specific practice which I believe is discriminatory and therefore disagree with. I would not choose myself to enter a building that I could only enter if I wore particular clothes but where that requirement was limited to one gender or one group defined by arbitrary characteristics. I would be happy to cover my head as a sign of respect/tradition if everyone entering the building was required to do so.

They can make their own decision on this when they are adults.

Am I being ridiculous and petty or is it reasonable to stand up for my view that just because a custom is part of a religion that does not excuse it being discriminatory?

Some have mentioned hats off in church out of respect. Odd to think that in some cultures/religious hair uncovered is respectful, in others covered hair is respectful, just shows what nonsense it all is.

Also reference to being respectful and covering the head in the mosque, how about the mosque respects my wishes not to cover my head.

Anyway, I would probably let her go. I have visited many mosques and never been asked to cover my hair. One mosque I didn't visit (or try to) was in Iran, (hair covered everywhere by law) the armed guards maning the metal detectors put me off.

I don't think there are rules about girls wearing tops in pools. Personally I always wonder why you would bother with a bikini top on a small child.
I guess at 7 8 or 9 you could decide for yourself which style of swimwear you prefer. I get the analogy. I agree that there's a double standard there but for young children I don't believe there are written rules like appears to be the case with hair covering.

i duno warmcold that the breast stroke in swimming doesn't actually involve exposing the breast? why are we talking about swimming costumes? lol

And of course the massive difference being that whatever style of swimwear you choose you will be semi naked. These girls will be in full school uniform. I disagree with the sentiment they need more than that to be decent modest or respectful but boys are good as they are.

We are talking about swimwear because some people are using bikini tops as an excuse for other sexist unequal treatment of young girls.

I think you might find the boys do have to cover their heads. When the mosque in our city has an open day, even the guys are expected to put a skullcap type hat on.

Well that would be fair enough but in the ops case letter from school said girls only.

Hampster, boys in a pool are good as they are, ie in trunk, girls tend to need more, or are required to cover more. Why are we not fighting this inequality? Why are we allowing our girls into a building wit such rules where one set of rules are for boys and more rules for girls? Why such blatantly sexist rules as if to imply that girls should be ashamed of their bodies and are therefore lesser human beings somehow with more responsibility to cover themselves in case the boys cannot control themselves.

I suppose it depends where they are from. It's more cultural than religious.

I went to a funeral in a mosque recently and wore pretty much what I'd wear to a c of e funeral but did shove a scarf over my hair - which is probably something we'd've done a few years back anyway.

I'd let the girls go and ask why is is deemed so important that women - and especially why children - have to cover themselves. And don't take 'modesty' for an answer.

Do you honestly believe girls of 7 would be forbidden to swim without a bikini top? I don't have girls so I don't know. But I doubt it. My sisters and I went topless on holidays at home and abroad until we got old enough to be self conscious. Older than 7. And if I did have girls and they wanted to swim topless at 7 no I wouldn't be happy for the pool manager or whoever to tell them they couldn't.

I would let them go and use the visit as a bais to discuss how all religion is ridiculous and the root cause of a lot of evil acts in the world.

You can't really say that - community hasn't exactly got a good track record, ancient Rome, Ottoman empire, ghengis khan... Power and greed.

@WarmCold: Who is "we"? There are feminists who fight this inequality. Thing is, most are not really in a hurry to walk around topless because of the sexual objectification of breasts in our culture. We don't want men to drool at the sight of us.

Something that is rather unlikely to happen with hair anywhere in Great Britain or the US. Or Europe.
(And I don't think even men in Islamistic countries are actually sexually aroused by the sight of female head hair, which looks just like male head hair. Because, really, that'd be a weird fetish.)

YABU.
If we are to learn from each other we need to see things.
I don't believe women, and especially girls, should ever cover their hair -- which is to stop men, apart from husbands, ogling but...it is respectful of their traditions to conform.

YANBU. No way would I agree to my children being told to cover their hair. If muslim women want to wear a head scarf that is obviously fine. However, women should not be told to cover their hair, whatever their religion. It should be their choice.

I will not conform to any religion that makes me or my child do that ciele so what do I need to see? I know. I know to say I will not do that in my country of freedom.

You'll be glad to know that no one is going to make you then. Since when was a primary school trip compulsory in a state school?

OP can boys at your school wear dresses?

And do they? Far more sexism in dress convention in schools that is actually seriously worth worrying about!

Pinot-I said conform...to whoever's traditions- to see things...not convert!

Can you only worry about one thing at a time ice? That must be nice. There's nothing in my ds school uniform forbidding boys from wearing dresses.
Of course there are double standards, sexism needs fighting on all fronts. Not oh well my ds can't wear a dress to school so it's fine to make young girls cover their hair.

Ice do you not know what "conform" means then? I nor my children need not "conform"... I as a parent can also say that my child has no need to go into a mosque either to ever wear something on her head that depicts a hierachy of a man made variety.

Ok Ice so you are saying that dress between a free society is wrong? I say oppressive religion is very wrong. Lets not be silly or split hairs here.

I would also not visit a country that did this. I dont want to "see" it, knowing its a fact and what goes on is enough.

Actually I don't want to see it either. But I thought my children should see as much as possible-mosques and Auchwitz.

All I am pointing out is the double standard. People are happy to dress their DDs differently to their DSs purely on the basis of gender every single day. Its wrong and damaging and I hate it.

Every single time someone puts their DD in clothes they would let their DS be seen dead in, sexism gains another victory.

I wouldn't send my DD to a mosque if she would be asked to dress differently from boys. I said the OP wasn't BU in my first post on the topic.

But there is a far larger problem in schools than is caused by one trip to a very marginally more sexist place than the school is.