To think gender colour coded lucky dip is unacceptable?

[asharah]

Helping out with the PTA I discovered kids were being asked to bring in lucky dip prizes, wrapped pink for girls and blue for boys. I was really shocked. Surely our kids should be encouraged not to discriminate and play with all toys? When I shared my concern that this reinforced unhelpful gender stereotypes some parents came back saying they didn't want boys to be upset or teased for receiving pink fluffy toys, or vice versa? I've never come across gender separated lucky dip before, and encountered hundreds. Is it normal?

I suspect many will think this is OK, but IMHO YANBU. Why don't they just ask for prizes that would be OK for a girl or a boy?

That's crap, isn't it?

Mind you, when I was a kid I always went for the "boys' stuff" which I thought was much better (I wanted toy binoculars etc not a fucking purse) so it was quite handy to have it colour coded. But wrong.

Why can't all children just have toys?

Yanbu I would be pissed off by this as would my kids actually.

You will get peoole saying it fine, it's helpful yada yada.. But reinforcing gender stereotypes is not healthy and not what I aim to do with my children, wr would avoid that stall and do something else.

Yabu nothing to stop you giving a neutral toy,
My ds back in the day would not have wanted a doll type toy

BTW the request was changed to 'gender neutral' gifts before the kids received it - ok, but i'd've rathered 'a gift suitable for any child'

Casper already said the answer - just ask for toys that would suit either a boy or girl.

If that means no fluffy pink purses, so be it.

What is wrong with fluffy pink purses
Some girls actually wantnpinkmstuff

Hmmm, every Friday I hand out a clear plastic bag to the "top table". It's full of little novelties, mostly gender neutral, some more towards girls, e.g. hair bobbles, pencils with a pink fluffy feather on the top or little cars/trains. Without fail, the girls will seize upon the "girly" ones and the boys on the more mechanical type toys.

Despite what some people would like to believe, most girls like "girly" stuff and boys mostly hate it.

In the past 8 years of teaching I have very rarely witnessed otherwise.

I know Jax. They can be bought in shops, freely and without hindrance.

Better to be gender specific in my view tbh otherwise you will get really boring bland gifts. My DD would love a pink fluffy purse or a dinosaur, that's less likely to happen in a gender neutral lucky dip.

This lucky dip prize is unlikely to be a treasured toy so I wouldn't give this too much thought.

Don't sweat the small stuff

I think running separate girls and boys tombolas is a bit silly, and adds complication (when I volunteer for stuff like this, I want it as simple as possible). and also you could end up with lots of donations for one and not the other. At least with unisex, it'll do all comers until it runs out completely.

If a girl wants to limit herself to only fluffy pink stuff, she's probably better off being steered away from a tombola so she can choose things, not risk any element of surprise.

But imagine if a boy found a purse or a set of hairbands... Wouldn't feel very lucky i guess.

I think the lucky dip at school should be not toys, but gender neutral items, like stationaries or puzzles.

laffy and as a teacher, you think all this is genetic, right?

I don't think anything LineyReborn, I'm just posting my personal experience.

IME it's the parents of girls who peddle this myth of gender neutral gubbins, along with "do they use their penis to play with it?", the parents of boys respond "well actually, yes - they frequently do".

Anyone attempting to give my boys sparkly pink shit would be shot in the face by a stolen nerf gun.

Liney A stealth teacher-bash there. Well done.

'Do they use their penis to play with it?'

I have never heard anyone say that about a child, ever. Until now.

I teach, Chief.

...and at Christmas time, every child in the school gets a book from Santa. As soon as the paper is ripped open the boys and girls start swapping over. When we wrap them up, we make a point of NOT thinking "this is more for a boy/girl" it's totally by age range per class. However books with swirly chick lit type writing get short shrift from the boys and anything with black or dark green font gets a twisted face from a girl. We have tried, the children make their own decisions about what they do or don't like.

I suspect many will think this is OK, but IMHO YANBU. Why don't they just ask for prizes that would be OK for a girl or a boy?

But surely to get away from gender stereotypes means any toys are suitable for boys or girls. So pink fluffy purses would be allowed, but not advertised as the girls lucky dip prize.

When I shared my concern that this reinforced unhelpful gender stereotypes some parents came back saying they didn't want boys to be upset or teased for receiving pink fluffy toys, or vice versa?

This is ridiculous, some boys would like to receive a pink fluffy purse and some wouldn't, just like some girls would like to receive a dinosaur and some wouldn't. Toys should not be marketed as gender specific, obviously different children will like different toys, but that should be down to the individual child's preferences rather than their gender.

They did this last year at my school. DS (age 3) wanted the present wrapped in pink paper like his sister picked so I told him (pointedly) he could have whatever one he wanted. He was very happy with his Frozen colouring pad.

It's a 'lucky' dip! Just because you're a girl or a boy doesn't mean you're going to like the thing in the blue or pink paper anyway. It's supposed to be 'luck' as to whether you get something you wanted!

Despite what some people would like to believe, most girls like "girly" stuff and boys mostly hate it.

I think this could be more to do with the way toys are marketed as girls or boys, and therefore what children believe they are expected to like.

But imagine if a boy found a purse or a set of hairbands... Wouldn't feel very lucky i guess.

Well I think that depends on the boy. Why shouldn't a boy use a purse? As for hairbands, I guess it would be unlucky for anyone with short hair to win them (boy or girl). But isn't that the point of a lucky dip.

As a kid it would have suited me just fine to have the presents colour coded. I would've got for the blue wrapped present safe in the knowledge it would not have been a fucking Doll.

As a pp has said. Don't sweat the small stuff.

What is a gender neutral toy?

Surely all toys are gender neutral

It could well be down to marketing kslatts but it's still true IME. Any boy in my class is welcome to take whatever he damn well pleases from the bag, as are the girls but without fail they will seize upon the more "gender specific" crap and the neutral stuff like notepads and bubbles get left to the end.