To think gender colour coded lucky dip is unacceptable?

[asharah]

Helping out with the PTA I discovered kids were being asked to bring in lucky dip prizes, wrapped pink for girls and blue for boys. I was really shocked. Surely our kids should be encouraged not to discriminate and play with all toys? When I shared my concern that this reinforced unhelpful gender stereotypes some parents came back saying they didn't want boys to be upset or teased for receiving pink fluffy toys, or vice versa? I've never come across gender separated lucky dip before, and encountered hundreds. Is it normal?

My point is, where does this desire to choose certain objects and symbols come from? If it isn't genetic (and I seriously hope that there aren't teachers suggesting that it is) (although I am personally aware of a couple of creationists...) then it is environmental. In which case, is isn't inevitable, it isn't immutable, and it isn't necessary to reinforce it at a time when we are trying to encourage more girls into traditionally 'male' subject areas. STEM, anyone?

There are lots of toys which are fabulous and fun, and that are to do with the natural world, exploring, science, puzzles, art, craft, making things, creating things, thinking about and reading about things. A mineral set. An archaeologist's trowel. A book about dinosaurs. A set of optical illusions. A magic trick. A packet of crayons and a notebook. A small journal and pen.

"why shouldn't a boy have a purse"...absolutely no reason at all, but mostly they won't want one.

If parents chose to stero type the kids, then let them chose. Have pink/blue and yellow/green to try a test case!!

When secretary of our PTA - about 20 mumble years ago, I introduced gender neutral Santa toys - lots of sharp intakes of breath and catsbum faces. I think they went back to pink & blue after my day. I think all this crap pink fluffy stuff idea faded in the 80s and 90s, but seems to have come back with glitter and tinsel on it. Makes me so cross.

What Liney has said a millions times over.

Yanbu op. I was asked if I'm planning gendered party bags for 5yo ds's birthday and had to stifle a guffaw. I just go on the basis that if both myself and dh think it's a good enough toy for any child then it'll be in the party bag.

And Liney I have stuff in the bag like you've suggested...magnifying glasses, bug hunter stuff, wooden puzzles. I have no idea why boys and girls decide "that's a girls/boys toy", I'm not that clever, it just happens.

...and I'm neither a genetic stereotype enforcer or a creationist.

Makes me sad. If a girl wanted a toy truck or science kit, adults would laugh indulgently and say how lovely that she can aspire to work in engineering when she's older. When a boy wants to play with dolls, he learns PDQ that he will be laughed at by all. Been there. I'd go for gender neutral toys every time, no pink, no fluff, no camouflage.

What about if it were a tombola and the prizes were assigned to specific numbers - would you still insist that a prize was swapped or deny your child the prize if it were for the "wrong gender"?

When did children become so overly gender-specific individuals?
When I was a child growing up in the 1950s myself and my sisters were into playing cowboys and indians, with cap guns, building games, train sets, jigsaw puzzles (it would have been lego except it wasn't available) though we would admit to one doll each which was barely played with.
It seems to be a fairly recent innovation that there are boys and girls toys / clothes/ types of play bearing in mind my childhood was pre women's lib/ feminism.

It's basic Giddens 101 to understand that children are socialised into gender from the day they're born. The OP was asking if it's the right thing to carry that on in a school setting, so very consciously.

That it - gendering - has already happened seems a bit defeatist to me.

It's never too early or too late in my view to encourage children to think about behaviour, the material world, gender, class and their futures.

mollie same here in the 60s/70s.

I think in the 60s and 70s there was much less choice. All my toys were hand me downs, I played with anything I was given or I'd have had nothing at all.

laffy that's so true. Less was more, maybe.

Kids will stereotype themselves. They often get a strong feeling of gender identity at a young age without anyone forcing it on them.
The genders do differ whether people like it or not.
I would be fine with the pink and blue wrapping so long as the child can choose which one they want.

I have no idea why boys and girls decide "that's a girls/boys toy", I'm not that clever, it just happens.

It's not uncommon for shop to have the toys on display under "boys toys" and "girls toys". I'd imagine if you see this often enough it would sink in as you grow that the doll is for you, the tractor your brother. And if the adults in your life mostly buy your gifts from the link section then it reinforces that message.

Not saying it's a deliberate thing, but from the moment a baby is born, the congrats cards are gendered, and I think it starts from there and builds up. So a five year old liking pink has kind of been taught that pink is girly as she's grown, and if that's mostly what she's been given, then that's what she'll gravitate to. Hope I made sense.

Aargh, posted too soon. Was meant to say I agree with a lot of these posts, interesting reading

I would be fine with this as long as children could pick from either pile.

But I think that would mean having more toys than needed so one pile wouldn't run out.

I have a girl and a boy. Ds would pick from the blue pile. Dd would pick from either depending on her mood.

We haven't brought either up with gender stereotypes. Ds does gravitate towards all things 'boyish'. Dd likes both. Although I don't label stuff 'boys' or 'girls' in RL.

I put it down to their personalities rather than gender.

Gottage they don't gender themselves, they see it all around them from the minute they're born. Marketing is the very worst culprit.

We are having this at DD's school this year. I've joined the PA. I shall be having words...

It may be perceived as 'small stuff' but it isn't. A toy should be a toy, fit for a child. There should be no need to deem one thing suitable for girls and one thing suitable for boys.

As many have said, it's a lucky dip. You get what you're given. There's loads of stuff that would be gender neutral.

I don't think that 'kids stereotype themselves'. They are stereotyped by and through their environment, just as children don't militarise themselves, or assign themselves a religion or belief system or class traits or social rank order - it is learned, it is complex, and it's not innate.

I think what kids do do is act in a way that shows overall how effectively they've been gendered.

Personally I would only have an issue if they stopped a girl from having something from the blue lucky dip or nice verca. I don't see a problem with grouping them to try to help people get something the will want!