To think gender colour coded lucky dip is unacceptable?

[asharah]

Helping out with the PTA I discovered kids were being asked to bring in lucky dip prizes, wrapped pink for girls and blue for boys. I was really shocked. Surely our kids should be encouraged not to discriminate and play with all toys? When I shared my concern that this reinforced unhelpful gender stereotypes some parents came back saying they didn't want boys to be upset or teased for receiving pink fluffy toys, or vice versa? I've never come across gender separated lucky dip before, and encountered hundreds. Is it normal?

(I hope the next hacker does something friffing useful and autocorrects every use of 'girly' to something appropriate)

Prettybelle - because it limits children and reduces their choices. Pushes them in a certain direction to fit in.

Girls - have some lipgloss!
Boys - pretend to shoot stuff!

It's pretty depressing

Are science toys for girls or boys prettybelle?

Recent visit to any toy shop will show you stero typing. DS wanted a pram bit not a pink one, age 2 he knew pink was girls stuff. I ended up finding a green pushchair in a charity shop. So without choice, the toys are limited, BUT its only recently a real issue with shops pushing gender toys.

VestaVirgin Because most "girl toys" are not toys but things that only serve the purpose of grooming girls to become men's sextoys.

That's the most ridiculous statement I have ever come across. I am not even going to bother arguing with it.

Any child is free to pick whatever toy they like. My son happily plays with his sister with her doll house and she plays with him with his train set. Nothing wrong with it. And if a girl likes cars and toy soldiers she is welcome to have her pick from the boys lucky dip pile. And vice versa. But it doesn't mean that we should abolish "fluffy pink stuff" just because it is aimed at girls and encourage girls to play with toy trains.

Going for gender-neutral toys in general is sad because there are two genders and it is ok for them to be different and enjoy different things. These differences should be celebrated, not shamed.

MN seems to be a very particular crowd and luckily you people only seem to exist online because, as I said, I have never come across such views in real life while raising two opposite sex kids.

The reason children go for the gender specific stuff is precisely because society is forcing the stereotype down their throats at every opportunity. As soon as someone knows what gender a baby is they will speak differently to it and it continues from there.

I think it would be very interesting to see what children from one of the few tribes with no outside influences would choose if given choices between cars, trains, hair bobbles and fairy wings.

StrawberryTeaLeaf, science toys are for whoever is interested in science. Odd question.

My son happily plays with his sister with her doll house and she plays with him with his train set.

His train set her dolls house.

Says it all.

But that's just it prettyBelle if you wrapped the toys in coloured paper according to gender, what colour would you wrap the science toys? And then what about if a child from the opposite gender is interested in science, you are restricting their ability to choose that toy.

Despite what some people would like to believe, most girls like "girly" stuff and boys mostly hate it.

From what I've seen irl, I think this is very true. Only on mn does everyone seem to have a son who wears pink dresses and is obsessed with dolls and princesses...Irl...not so much.

*His train set her dolls house.

Says it all.*

What is it saying though? Growing up I had both those things. And Cars and a multi storey Carpark! no one insisted I could only have the dolls house as I was a girl and that's what I should be playing with.

*Despite what some people would like to believe, most girls like "girly" stuff and boys mostly hate it.

From what I've seen irl, I think this is very true. Only on mn does everyone seem to have a son who wears pink dresses and is obsessed with dolls and princesses...Irl...not so much*

I agree with this. I don't know of any of my friends who have boys say they like to play with dolls and wear dresses. I've only ever read about it on mn.

I don't see why we can't just have toys and let children pick what they want without pushing them either directly or indirectly (colour coding etc) to a certain set. Children are individuals, their personalities are not dependant on their genitals. If the desire of girls to play with dolls and boys with guns, is entirely innate, than nothing will change.

StrawberryTeaLeaf, science toys are for whoever is interested in science. Odd question

That works for everything though, doesn't it prettybelle ?

Hairclips for whoever is interested in hairclips.
Military toys for whoever likes military toys.
Dolls for whoever likes dolls.
Football for whoever is interested football.
Pink for whoever likes pink.

Why divide things up into 'Boys' and 'Girls' for no real reason?

But that's just it prettyBelle if you wrapped the toys in coloured paper according to gender, what colour would you wrap the science toys?

You'd put some in both of the tubs, and you'd wrap some in blue paper and some in pink. There's no rule that says you can't have the same toys in both bucket.

Really? You don't know any boys who enjoy crafts, or fairytales, or baking? All things that are regularly labelled 'for girls'. I find that both sad and hard to believe.

You'd put some in both of the tubs, and you'd wrap some in blue paper and some in pink. There's no rule that says you can't have the same toys in both bucket.

So why not just have one bucket full of stuff that you would deem 'suitable for both'?

That sounds like a good way to be rid of the glittery tat and the militaristic rubbish and get some good stuff in there.

The reason children go for the gender specific stuff is precisely because society is forcing the stereotype down their throats at every opportunity.

That's not the only reason at all. It may be one reason, but is it really that hard to see that plenty of girls genuinely like pink sparkly stuff and plenty of boys genuinely like swords and cars?

The stereotype came from somewhere.

Restricting things to being only gender neutral basically just leaves girls without the option of pink fluffy stuff, and I don't believe they should be prevented from having things they naturally like. And lots of girls do genuinely like the pink stuff, I know because I did when I was a child.

Really? You don't know any boys who enjoy crafts, or fairytales, or baking?

I wouldn't consider those things especially 'girly'....but generally nearly every boy my ds is friends with or any of my friends sons are into superheros, football, cars etc etc.

Only IRL have I seen a mother yell at a 3 year old boy to get off the pink bike because he's not a fucking girl.

Now he's in my DS's class, and guess what he says about DS's pink water bottle? I'm sure DS will want a different colour one day, and possibly he'll learn to laugh at other boys liking pink too. When that happens it will be nothing to do with his innate hatred of pink fluffy things.

Ha osolea that never actually occurred to me! (That's autistic thinking for you!).

Still, the same could apply to many, many toys and should apply to all toys IMO. So then you'd end up with maybe 90% of toys in the buckets the same (the remaining 10% being made up of pink fluffy purses! and things that in RL 90% of the people who like it are one particular gender)

So then that begs the question, why have separate buckets at all? Why not chuck them all in and let the parent explain that it's a lucky dip/tombola, if you get something you like then I guess you're lucky, if not you regift it or swap it or charity shop or whatever. Like I did with DD's bonbon dish.

Sigh. I can't bear it when people argue that girls choose pink fluff and boys cars as an argument that this is genetic and not because of people like the OP talked about making this so.....

Nobody did. And "blecch" to your "sigh"

So why not just have one bucket full of stuff that you would deem 'suitable for both'?

Because the pink glittery stuff isn't really suitable for both. There are going to be very few boys that want the pink stuff, and a large number of girls shouldn't be denied it for the sake of one or two boys.

That sounds like a good way to be rid of the glittery tat and the militaristic rubbish and get some good stuff in there.

Everything that you're likely to get in a PTA lucky dip is going to be tat, why do you reserve that description kits for the glittery stuff? There's nothing wrong with being a little girl who likes glitter, and I think it's damaging to girls to have this constant narrative that pink glittery stuff is rubbish when it's often something that they genuinely like.

I said I don't know of any of my friends boys that play with dolls or want to wear dresses.

Does a lucky dip have to have pink glitter? Can't the stalls sell sufficient pink glitter to meet demand?