...to be upset about her termination?

[princesspineapple]

I'm 21 weeks pregnant, and one of my best friends has just had a termination.
I'm all for pro-choice and it's her body etc etc... But she has basically used this as contraception (they've not used any protection for a year) and I don't really agree with that.
Putting aside my (and everyone's) feelings about her pregnancy choices... AIBU to be upset that she turned to me first in her "time of need"?
I've had MCs in the past, and am over the moon to be pregnant... So am finding it really hard to support her when she says things like "well it's only pea sized" when my little pea is now wriggling away in my belly!
Am I being a bit of an over-emotional pregnant lady and need to buck up and be a better friend, or is she actually being a cow?

Here's a tip for those who are anti-abortion: don't have one.

You said neither's rights should trump the other,

neither's rights to life trumps the other.

My opinion still stands, i think it's unethical to kill an unborn baby at such a late stage. Hang me for it.

Conscious do you think all women who don't want a baby and would be forced to have one suddenly shake off all the reasons before for going through with a serious medical procedure and become an amazing mother? Some might, but many won't. So you can be as bored of the notion as you want but it doesn't make it any less valid

You can fuck your hard-won right to control your own body if that means murdering a 24-week-old 'foetus' because you don't fancy the changes its birth will bring to your life.

What situations? when does having a child stop you from "living" that sentence seems very vague.

Scour MN posts about terrified pregnant women with an abortion booked to find out the answer sordid

Alora interesting link, thanks for sharing. This 17 year-old's story is very sad:
"Teenager relying on the contraceptive pill for birth control. She knew that she had missed some pills several months ago and took a pregnancy test when she missed a period. Pregnancy test was negative and she stopped worrying because she had had a period-like bleed. Took another two pregnancy tests when she missed subsequent period, both of which were negative. Lives with her father and didn’t feel able to confide in him. Eventually spoke with her mother who took her to GP, who referred her to BPAS. Because she was over the current legal gestational limit there was no option but to refer her back to her GP to arrange future ante-natal care."

piper i have been a terrified young pregnant woman with an abortion booked again, i have no problem with early abortions, as soon as the pregnancy is detected and we are lucky in this country to have easy access to contraceptive and testing resources.

so by living you mean basically a child would change their life? it changes everyone's life..

And how many women actually abort a 24 week old foetus in reality? Late termintions are pretty rare and usually for medical reasons so you are arguing about a tiny number compared to the rights of millions of us.

Shake off what reasons, Piper? Go on...give us a few. List these excuses to kill a baby at 24 weeks gestation, and I'll tell you whether I think that mother should do her fucking damndest to not extinguish that real life kicking and breathing human being.

and there is no follow on but i would bet that she received support from her mother at least to have the baby. we don't have to information to say whether she wishes her child had never been born or whether she is getting ok ok in life now. As a 17 yr old who had a baby and other circumstances, i can vouch that there is a lot of support out there for young mums.

Although it's still true that if it's a question of mother dying if she continues with pregnancy and baby dying if she doesn't, which it might well be at eg 25 weeks, one party's rights do have to trump the other. That's not a matter of anyone's opinion on abortion, it's just a fact. One party comes first.

I know i did say that in circumstances where the mum will die if she continues the pregnancy then that is different.

ConsciousPilot
"List these excuses to kill a baby at 24 weeks gestation, and I'll tell you whether I think that mother should do her fucking damndest to not extinguish that real life kicking and breathing human being."
I'll repeat, since you ignored me the first time. It's a FOETUS not a baby. It's also not breathing! It breathes after it's born.
Alora actually did share a list of real life examples of women with "excuses" (no, reasons) that they want to have an abortion. So by all means read it if you're genuinely interested.

I think women who have repeated miscarriages for no better reason than they kept having accidents should be sterilised.

Please dear god tell me that is a typo. It's a freudian one, even if it is.

I think you've shown your true colours here

Here you go Concious <a class="break-all" href="http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:EfB9iDYfNUAJ:www.bpas.org/media/1181/32-reasons-not-to-lower-the-abortion-time-limit-briefing.doc+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">32 reasons

There's a report online with the abortion stats for England and Wales. [[https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/433437/2014_Commentary__5_.pdf Abortions where gestation has exceeded its twenty-fourth week account for less than 0.1%
of the total.]]

Oh ffs, are we supposed to feel sorry for this 17 year-old? Like no-one before her has accidentally got knocked up at that age. It's called Life. In all it's spectacularly unpredictable glory. What the hell happened to personal accountability?

Answer: fucking feminism.

Cross posted.
"I think women who have repeated miscarriages for no better reason than they kept having accidents should be sterilised."
What the actual fuck?! Thank God we don't live in your horrific world.

Bloody feminism, how dare it actually make things better for women! Who needs things like equal pay and rights over our own body?

Wow, just wow.
What a spectacularly unpleasant person you are revealing yourself to be.

I hope you don't break too many bones when you fall off that high horse one day.

i also hope you meant abortions conscious.

But no i don't feel sorry for the 17yr old, i feel glad that she was advised that they couldn't abort the baby and then i know she would have been offered excellent support.

"I know that she would have been offered excellent support."
You know that for sure do you?!

I'm 21 weeks along at the moment as well - and if a friend of mine came to me looking for support in dealing with an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy or if they needed a TFMR then I would be happy to help directly or to help them to find professionals that could probably do a better job than me! At the end of the day it is her choice, she is looking for support, if you can't help her then as a friend you should help her find someone who can help her.

I cannot and will not support any reduction from 24 weeks in the abortion limit, particularly when the women of my home country are relying on UK services. Terminations at 20+ weeks are very rare and are mostly for solid medical reasons, taking that right away from women in those situations is absolutely disgusting. Irish women who travel are significantly more likely to need later term procedures in the UK purely because of how long it takes to save the money for the procedure, travel, accomodation and possibly childcare - and depending on when an anomaly scan is done and a problem detected they can be right up against the 24 week limit particularly if they have RC doctors employing delaying tactics.