To insist I want a meal break

[RedRoosterLondon]

In brief, this is how it is.

My colleague has been employing someone to pick her son from work and take him home. Last week she was informed by her helper that she didn't want to do this any more.

My colleague asked the rest of us to work through our meal break so that we could all finish early. We did this as a one off to help her, as it was an emergency. However, the next day when she asked again I said no. Once I had done that the rest of the staff agreed with me.

She called me a selfish bitch amongst other things, then went to our boss. He says we all finish when the work is done, and anyone who wants to go early on a regular basis will have money deducted. But if we want to work through our break to go early together, that's fine as long as we are all doing the same thing.

I can't stand the daily battle and nor can my other colleagues. We start at seven and work a long day, we need our break and something to eat. What is it with some women that they think the workplace revolves around them and their childcare problems?

By the way I do have kids myself, but I have my life sorted. There is no way I would behave like this at work.

I think that you were perfectly reasonable and I'm glad that your bosses have backed you up. It's a shame for her that your job isn't more flexible. I'm a teacher- nobody would get permission to leave 30 mins early even if they had frees in the afternoon and worked through their unpaid lunch break to make up for it. It's just not the done thing even though I'm theory it wouldn't actually harm anyone else or inconvenience them. I can't even imagine someone asking except as a complete one-off:

YANBU OP.
Somebody that calls me a selfish bitch would deserve no help from me. There are plenty enough of single mother that do a fantastic job of working without burdening their colleagues. And if as a one-off they do, they do not behave in this entitled way.
lexy are you such a annoying co-worker? Bouhou poor me have some compassion while I shit on you?

I think the 'result' the OP means is the one that has ensured this colleague will work her contracted hours from now on, and stop abusing and pressurising colleagues.

Sounds like a satisfactory result to me.

Still don't think YABU.

OnlyLovers you at least can read. You've understood what I meant perfectly. Thank you.

Sorry going through the rest of the posts it would seem that others have understood me too. Thanks to all of you as well.

Lexi you're the one sounding like you want to provoke tears here. You're talking utter rubbish. Why would it be the OP here who needs to show compassion, rather than, say, her boss who is the person stipulating no early leaving, or the colleague herself, who wants everyone else to work on without a break because it advantages her personally for them to do so? You can't have it all ways.

Agree OP that, as already stated, you're NBU.

YANBU OP but if / when you have children you might have a little more compassion for your colleague.

Seriously, Unexpected, do you imagine all of us who've posted YANBU don't have kids ourselves so don't get it? Of course we do. I have to sort out and pay for end of day childcare while I am still at work. I recognise someone else who's taking the piss in that scenario.

"So why is your boss unwilling to let her away early? She works through the 20 minutes it takes you all to have your break, then clocks off 20 minutes earlier. Why won't he bend on that?"

Sometimes there's no good business reason for doing that, but some employers insist on it anyway. I used to work somewhere where everyone had to wait for the last team member. We didn't have to actually work, just hang around and this was often very late at night. It was supposed to be a solidarity thing, but it made me extremely angry as the ones who were still finishing were on a higher rate.

OP has children - RTT.

I am pleased that Head Chef, dealt with this quickly and in a professional manner for you. Your colleague does give working parents a bad name and reduce the opportunity for others.

Had very similar in a previous role (not kitchen staff), colleague A didn't like travelling in traffic so wanted to get in by 7.30 every day and then go by 3.30. Not really appropriate when you are customer facing role and employed to work 9.00 to 5.30 with not really anything that could be done before 9.

Unexpected Item - I do have children. I said that.

Lexi's just trolling. You always get that on here so personally I'm not bothered by her.

Gwenhwyfar - because if he lets one do that it sets a precedent.

While I don't think YABU for sticking to your guns with regards to leaving early to suit colleague, esp after her name calling, I do think you are BVU for this: onlylovers you at least can read

I'm agreeing that OP is NBU

Sorry I missed that you also have children.

I think you did a nice thing helping her out on one day and she threw it back in your face with the "selfish bitch" comment.

But you are now coming across as slightly gleeful that she's been pulled up by your boss. And a tad fighty on this thread. Just my opinion

Whois the op partly caused the situation that reduced her to tears by complaining.
I am not a single parent but I imagine only having a weekend to sort out childcare is almost impossible. The op has no compassion for others.

you are now coming across as slightly gleeful that she's been pulled up by your boss

I too would be feeling 'slightly gleeful' that the boss successfully dealt with the colleague who verbally abused me and tried pushing me around.

the op partly caused the situation that reduced her to tears by complaining
wtf?! She (correctly) reported the verbal abuse and bullying tactics to her boss. Or do you think she should allow herself to be bullied and verbally abused in her place of work?

The op has no compassion for others.

Incorrect. OP and the rest of the team DO have and DID show compassion by forgoing their lunch break to help her out in an emergency. That is not some small, inconsequential thing that can be minimised. They were not happy to go hungry and without a rest again for the foreseeable future and the other colleague should have also had and shown some compassion towards them.

Go hungry ? They finished worked at 4 pm. It's hardly a great hardship.

Mmm, I started off thinking YANBU. By the time I got to "single parent, yabber, yabber yabber..." I'd decided that regardless of your colleague's name calling and unreasonableness, you seem very unkind and not a great colleague yourself.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be a bit about someone turning on the waterworks and getting all woe is me when they've been caught out trying to pressure colleagues into working through their lunch break and turning abusive when they didn't want to. If I was the OP I'd probably feel a bit gleeful too.

AndNowItsSeven

Please do tell us about your job and how you help your colleagues? How do you show compassion?

OP did not cause the woman to cry at all

And I would be starving well before 4pm, I have lunch at 12.

YANBU, OP.

Go hungry ? They finished worked at 4 pm. It's hardly a great hardship

I would be seriously fucking hangry if I was told I couldn't eat lunch and had to wait till 4. Who the hell eats lunch at 4 in the afternoon?

Anyway. Doesn't matter. OP wasn't being U. Other woman was. Boss has sorted the situation out to a satisfactory conclusion ie everyone works their shift as before.

Andnowitsseven , they start work at 7am. It isn't reasonable to expect people to work nonstop from 7am until 4pm without the opportunity for a meal/ rest break, which is why there is legislation in place to cover this.