To insist I want a meal break

[RedRoosterLondon]

In brief, this is how it is.

My colleague has been employing someone to pick her son from work and take him home. Last week she was informed by her helper that she didn't want to do this any more.

My colleague asked the rest of us to work through our meal break so that we could all finish early. We did this as a one off to help her, as it was an emergency. However, the next day when she asked again I said no. Once I had done that the rest of the staff agreed with me.

She called me a selfish bitch amongst other things, then went to our boss. He says we all finish when the work is done, and anyone who wants to go early on a regular basis will have money deducted. But if we want to work through our break to go early together, that's fine as long as we are all doing the same thing.

I can't stand the daily battle and nor can my other colleagues. We start at seven and work a long day, we need our break and something to eat. What is it with some women that they think the workplace revolves around them and their childcare problems?

By the way I do have kids myself, but I have my life sorted. There is no way I would behave like this at work.

She needs a new childminder, new job or after school club. She can't have an entire restaurant changing its schedule to suit her.

OP is your meal break unpaid? If it is you would be working for free and subsidising your co-worker.

Then I think she's out of order.

I'd also assume that if you start at 7 and work until end of schoolish times you are certainly entitled to a break.

Do you mean when the restaurant closes you all tools down and have a fag and cuppa break, then get the cleaning done?
She wants to forgo the break and get straight to the cleaning up, getting away earlier?

So do you think it's OK to be called a selfish bitch at work?

Things may be said in the heat of the moment, sure, but issues like this still need to be dealt with.

Fuck trying to work out solutions for a colleague who tried to force you all to give up your break and then called you a selfish break.

Seriously, YANBU and stick to your guns.

No timing your jobs so she can leave early, giving up your break, speaking to your boss (you already have) or compromising. She's a self-centred cow.

This is her problem. Don't make it yours.

No this is our official break and we get paid for it. We also get an unofficial one of 15 minutes before service.

Anyway my question was AIBU and I'm glad to know that most people agree that I'm not.

Thanks for this.

Alice - you summed up the situation perfectly.

Is she the person locking up by any chance? Hence she must be the last to leave? Or is it just a case of your boss refusing to be flexible for her (letting her work through her own lunch break so she can leave early)? It sounds to me like your boss and your colleague are both handling the situation badly and trying to make the rest of you accountable for the problem not getting resolved.

Apart from anything else, employment law says you have to have a 30min break if you work longer than 6 hours.

Not quite. You're entitled to take a break but you can't be forced to. You can't be prevented from taking the break but you can choose not to.

Yanbu if you were refusing on a one off emergency basis then you would be but if you can sort childcare so can she.

i understand why you take the breaks when you do, OP, and why she can't leave early as i was a chef in my previous career. we never took meals, just smoking breaks. we ate on section if we ate at all. i see her pov as i would always forego a break in favour of finishing early but she needs to abide by the head chef's decision and stop complaining.

surely it's fairly obvious to anyone that a restaurant chef will not be taking their lunch at lunchtime ???? and restaurant kitchens are hot, stressful, short tempered environments. you do snap at each other readily so it would have gone over my head being called a selfish bitch, i've heard far far worse !

So why is your boss unwilling to let her away early? She works through the 20 minutes it takes you all to have your break, then clocks off 20 minutes earlier. Why won't he bend on that? Is there a reason that she has to be there until you are all finished?

The OP says the son needs picking up from work. Why can't he find another way to get home? Or wait the half an hour or so your break takes?

Alice that is what I can't understand.

Doesn't sound to me like yabu though.

Truffle Hunter. We in an open plan kitchen so we are not allowed to eat on section at all, just drink. My boss is a reasonable man and that is why he allows an unofficial break in the morning. We all take half an hour after service then we clean down.

Im guessing op meant collect from school until the colleague finishes work.

I think I get it!

If I am right:

A) if she started half an hour earlier this would not be of benefit to the business or the team (ie not really anything to do in the kitchen before the team gets there) and

B) if she did get to start earlier so she could leave earlier, she would never do the 'clean down' of the kitchen, which is again no use to the team or the business. Plus bloody unfair to every bugger else cleaning the entire kitchen every night.

She needs to sort out her Childcare. And her attitude!

Sorry typo in my original post. I meant colleague picks up her son up from school. He's only six!

She will have to look at other child care arrangements.
Like fuck would I forgo a break after a busy kitchen shift. When I worked in a restaurant this would be sometimes really needed because of double shifts.. To give that up would mean nothing until gone 11.

She can't start early because she wouldn't even be able to get in the building.

I still dont understand why she cant just work through her break whilst you all take yours? She could get to work in the kitchen so there is less for you to do after the break, then she could leave 30 mins beforethe team, having done 3mins cleanig prior.

So why is your boss unwilling to let her away early? She works through the 20 minutes it takes you all to have your break, then clocks off 20 minutes earlier. Why won't he bend on that?

because a kitchen is a team who work together. nobody leaves until everything is done. IME a large kitchen is run like the military with a very clear rank structure and firm discipline. if one person tries to bemd the rules then why shouldnt everyone else start doing the same ? then it becomes unsustainable

In the short time I worked in a kitchen the 'clean down' was always done together and no one left until it was done to the satisfaction of the boss.

I suggest she misses her break and gets her section done and she can go.