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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist I want a meal break

133 replies

RedRoosterLondon · 08/11/2015 16:50

In brief, this is how it is.

My colleague has been employing someone to pick her son from work and take him home. Last week she was informed by her helper that she didn't want to do this any more.

My colleague asked the rest of us to work through our meal break so that we could all finish early. We did this as a one off to help her, as it was an emergency. However, the next day when she asked again I said no. Once I had done that the rest of the staff agreed with me.

She called me a selfish bitch amongst other things, then went to our boss. He says we all finish when the work is done, and anyone who wants to go early on a regular basis will have money deducted. But if we want to work through our break to go early together, that's fine as long as we are all doing the same thing.

I can't stand the daily battle and nor can my other colleagues. We start at seven and work a long day, we need our break and something to eat. What is it with some women that they think the workplace revolves around them and their childcare problems?

By the way I do have kids myself, but I have my life sorted. There is no way I would behave like this at work.

OP posts:
Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 08/11/2015 17:49

Exactly Truffle Hunter. Why should one person think that they can pick their hours to suit themselves?

OP posts:
DaggerEyes · 08/11/2015 17:50

Why doesn't she work through break, getting as much of the clear up done as possible, then, the rest of you come back and if she's knuckled down....you should all get done quicker?

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 08/11/2015 17:51

The other thing is that you never quite know how long it will take. If you've had a manic shift it always takes longer to clean down - you don't know how long it will take. In hospitality everyone has to finish at the same time or it doesn't really work. It's also a very physical job, you're on your feet, it's hot, there's a lot of pressure. I need to eat or do my job well. One person does not get to determine how the whole team operates. Why is her child more important than of the rest of the team's home life?

expatinscotland · 08/11/2015 17:56

And at any rate, it's not the OP's problem if/why the boss won't let this person away early. The colleague asked them all to do it as a one-off, so they did. They are unwilling to do it on a regular basis and forgo the break. That is not unreasonable, IMO.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 08/11/2015 17:59

I'm a little bit confused about the extra half hour actually helps her. School is usually about a 3:30 finish and don't restaurants generally close much much later?

Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 08/11/2015 18:00

A lot of you obviously don't work in kitchens so I'll spell it out for you. After a busy shift there is a lot of cleaning to be done. There's no way she can do her fair share in half an hour. There are also temperature charts to fill out for the various sections, and ordering. It's not just cleaning, there's other stuff to be done as well.

OP posts:
lexigrey · 08/11/2015 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LockTheTaskBar · 08/11/2015 18:18

I get it RedRooster. Also, if I am reading you right, there is food provided in this break? So if you are used to having this meal as part of the shift then going without it means you leave hungry and have to find yourself another meal... which is adds expense and may be inconvenient (if you aren't going straight home, still more expensive)

I also get why it all has to be done together

you need to get with the others who do your job (how many?) and find out how many agree with you and how many agree with her. If more on your side, then you can go back to the boss and say you've voted on it and prefer it the old way. If more are on her side... then work on changing their minds!

LockTheTaskBar · 08/11/2015 18:21

Presumably the lunch service closes at say, 2 or 2.30, and the clean up takes place after that. People working on dinner (if this place serves dinner) will be turning up for a later shift.

Starting at 7; unofficial 15 min break before lunch service starts (12?) and then working through with no food till 3.30 sounds tough

ChiefInspectorBarnaby · 08/11/2015 18:30

The rest of the issue aside- I would not go out of my way to help anyone who referred to me as a "selfish bitch". She's spoiled it for herself.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 08/11/2015 18:31

That makes perfect sense actually, thanks Lock Smile (it's been a long day!)

ChiefInspectorBarnaby · 08/11/2015 18:32

Lexi your condescending tone is uncalled for.

AliceInUnderpants · 08/11/2015 18:34

Can she have her hours cut, so she just finishes at closing and buggers off with no break and no cleaning?

TendonQueen · 08/11/2015 18:41

She was in the wrong to blame you and the rest of the team. This is down to the boss and if they say it's not possible, then it's down to her to argue the case with the boss on her own behalf, no one else involved, or look for another job. You shouldn't all be inconvenienced over her personal circumstances. Surely the easiest solution is to get someone else to pick up the son? There must be childminders etc who'd do it.

Potatoface2 · 08/11/2015 18:59

'employment law states that you get a break of 20 mins if you work 6 hours plus' is not entirely true.....it all depends on your job/occupation and your contract of employment. They are called 'breaks'....lunch doesnt even get a mention.....also another factor is if you take unpaid breaks or paid breaks....you fair better if breaks are unpaid because your employer cannot dictate to you what you do in your break time...if you get paid breaks then you really cannot work thru and expect to go early as you will not be doing your contractural hours....to be fair though maybe this woman just needed a bit of support until she found someone to pik her son up.....but she also didnt help herself by getting abusive with collegues

StealthPolarBear · 08/11/2015 19:07

Yes surely she can just leave when she needs to and get paid less. If you're telling me every single person needs to be there...that cant be the case.
and she wouldn't need to only do 30 mins - she'd do 30 mins less than everyone else.

scarlets · 08/11/2015 19:37

The helper who let her down with no notice sounds awful! Who'd do that??

But the "bitch" comment. Wow.

Yanbu.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 08/11/2015 19:37

Yanbu

You all helped in a one off emergency, but she needs a better child care solution than the whole team missing their break!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 08/11/2015 19:43

Every single person does need to be there or it takes longer. If she leaves early, everyone else stays later. That's just the way these jobs are. It takes as long as it takes, not a nice round number of minutes each.

mrsjanedoe · 08/11/2015 19:48

and this is exactly the sort of people who give a bad name to women/ mothers and give an excuse for not treating them fairly and equally. It can be really hard to juggle children and work, but that shouldn't become the team problem. Other people obviously manage. (I mean your colleague, not you OP!)

Your boss seems really fair for a start, allowing people to leave earlier would only mean more work for everybody else (because who will have to catch up with what has not been done? how do you measure fairly the amount of cleaning etc?).

YANBU at all.

I hope she does jog on.

celtictoast · 08/11/2015 19:56

YANBU

DontMindMe1 · 08/11/2015 23:11

she either sorts out her childcare or gets a different job.

OnlyLovers · 09/11/2015 09:33

I think the OP is being more condescending than lexi, TBH. OP, you seem to take a sort of masochistic pride in working in such a demanding job (and I've worked in kitchens and I know what hard work it is).

But people are trying to give advice and sympathy, and there's no need for 'spelling it out' comments or accusing people of being 'PC' for pointing out that it's not pleasant to call someone a selfish bitch.

Anyway, you're still definitely not being U. Your boss needs to talk to this woman about her childcare/time arrangement, not try to push it on to you and your colleagues to take charge of.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2015 09:36

Well boy if the person leaving early is getting paid less then the manager can ask for volunteers from this army of other people to stay half an hour longer and pay them to do so.

Are you seriously telling me there is no solution.

Artandco · 09/11/2015 09:44

I don't see the issue with her leaving early tbh. If she works through the breaking after and can then finish earlier once she has done her fair share that seems fine

So if usually you all finish at 2.30, eat, and clear up 3-3.45. Then it seems fine she starts at 2.30-3.15 and can go