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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist I want a meal break

133 replies

RedRoosterLondon · 08/11/2015 16:50

In brief, this is how it is.

My colleague has been employing someone to pick her son from work and take him home. Last week she was informed by her helper that she didn't want to do this any more.

My colleague asked the rest of us to work through our meal break so that we could all finish early. We did this as a one off to help her, as it was an emergency. However, the next day when she asked again I said no. Once I had done that the rest of the staff agreed with me.

She called me a selfish bitch amongst other things, then went to our boss. He says we all finish when the work is done, and anyone who wants to go early on a regular basis will have money deducted. But if we want to work through our break to go early together, that's fine as long as we are all doing the same thing.

I can't stand the daily battle and nor can my other colleagues. We start at seven and work a long day, we need our break and something to eat. What is it with some women that they think the workplace revolves around them and their childcare problems?

By the way I do have kids myself, but I have my life sorted. There is no way I would behave like this at work.

OP posts:
Natkingcole9 · 09/11/2015 09:55

Jeez OP I agreed with you early on but after reading your horrible comments I'm starting to think you might just be a bit horrible 'obviously most of you don't work in a kitchen so I'll spell it out for you' well yeah obviously most people don't work in a kitchen that's common sense so no we don't know the ins and outs of your job, just like you wouldn't know the ins and outs of most other jobs? Be a bit more kind to the people who are taking time to write down some support for you.

Crazypetlady · 09/11/2015 10:16

If one person leaves in a kitchen everyone else is fucked over. Where I worked it could easily add an extra hour onto our clean down time.
YANBU O.P service is hard work you need that break at the end of service.

Artandco · 09/11/2015 10:31

Crazy - but surely there's a list of what needs doing. If the women has done her share ie ticked of say 1/4 of the list then there can't be 'more' for the others.

SplitEndsBushyEyebrows · 09/11/2015 10:32

You do come across as selfish OP, and rude.

It's one thing to (rightly) insist you keep your break but you seem really unhelpful and bitter towards your colleague. Almost like you want this to be as difficult as possible for her.

You don't have to feel sorry for her but you could show a little understanding of her issue and instead of aggressively rejecting every single solution, maybe realistically consider them!

My sister (sat opposite me so thought I'd pick her brains for you) has worked in a restaurant for years and says she cannot see why one colleague can't clean their section and do designated admin bits for the length of time she would normally be expected to stay post break, then leave.

PhilPhilConnors · 09/11/2015 10:50

Yanbu, but I've worked in a busy restaurant and can't understand why she can't individually work something out.
As I recall, cleaning was done as a team, but each worker still had an individual role to play within that team, eg. One person was responsible for cleaning inside the ovens while another cleaned work tops and oven tops, while someone else re-organised the fridges and made notes of things that needed to be ordered.
It would be possible for this woman to do her fair share during that time without it impacting on others, it just needs a little bit of thought to work out what exactly needs doing.
Sounds like the boss is quite inflexible.
You shouldn't have to miss your break, but I can't see why she can't voluntarily miss hers, do the same amount of work and leave in time to pick her son up.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2015 10:53

Yes it simply can't be that hard to arramge

LockTheTaskBar · 09/11/2015 11:00

I think what you are picking up as a snotty tone from the OP is just that she is irritated by people's assumptions that they can apply standards from one line of work to another.

I understand this. my sister and my dp work in public sector / charity organisations respectively. they are always telling me that I can push back on this, that and the other, when they haven't a clue. In some ways I get a lot of flexibility in my job. but in other ways, I have a fuck-ton of work to do and a fuck-ton of meetings that I have to attend that can't be arranged around my preferences and I just can't say "that meeting that doesn't work with my family life" or "I can't write that presentation this weekend as it is outside my contracted hours". It actually gets a bit annoying when people seem to think you are a mad workaholic choosing to prioritise work over important things, when actually you just know what you need to do to keep your job.

Crazypetlady · 09/11/2015 11:26

You're right Art If she for example took some of things over to the washing up area and put things from her section, (if they work like that) then there would be no problem.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/11/2015 11:35

You do come across a bit selfish op. " I have my life sorted" well that's great for you. How about supporting your colleague and working out exactly what section of cleaning she could do before leaving early.

OnlyLovers · 09/11/2015 11:41

How about supporting your colleague

Well, I think the colleague has used up her entitlement to support after calling the OP all the names under the sun and making this into a battle.

LagunaBubbles · 09/11/2015 12:13

How about supporting your colleague and working out exactly what section of cleaning she could do before leaving early

I wouldnt be supporting any colleague who called me a selfish bitch.

ZoeTurtle · 09/11/2015 12:40

I worked in a similar set-up and we had a similar situation. A new girl joined - the teenager daughter of one of the chefs - and she left 30 minutes early each night so he could give her a lift home. Obviously the chefs finish sooner as they don't help with the clean-up. It caused massive resentment and after a week or so the big bosses put an end to it. When you've all been on your feet for (in our case) 13 hours, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner, everybody needs to pitch in with the clean up so you can all go home and rest ASAP. One person working on their own for 20/30 minutes would not match what they could do in 20/30 minutes with the rest of the group. It just doesn't work that way.

ZoeTurtle · 09/11/2015 12:42

Just to clarify, in my situation "we" were waitresses who helped with prep, service in a buffet-style student restaurant. Not sure what the OP's role is but in any case it sounds like the same set-up.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/11/2015 12:48

Zoe that doesn't make sense 30 minutes work is 30 minutes work.

thelittleredhen · 09/11/2015 12:55

Also, when the kitchen check is done at the end of the shift - any of the things that were done in haste and have to be re-done will be done by the staff that are there - they won't be ringing her at home saying "Doris, you've done a half job cleaning this, come back and do it again" will they - no, another member of the "team" will have to do it.

Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 09/11/2015 16:40

In my kitchen we don't leave until ALL the cleaning is done. Not just one person do their section and go. You finish before a colleague, then you help them out. There's no "This is your share" we do it together.

We finish at four, but if it quiet our boss will let us go with no deduction at three thirty or even three as long as EVERYONE is done. But we can't depend on that, if there is a late rush of customers we can't begin to tidy up, so there's more to be done after lunch.

Anyway "I've got to pick my up kid" came in to work, to find herself in the office on a first warning. Union rep already told and waiting with the head chef for her to come in. She does her contracted hours with the rest of us, and there's to be no more abusing colleagues or hassling people to work through their breaks to suit her if they don't want to.

Bit of crying because she's a single mum (yabber yabber yabber) and can't afford to have money deducted for going early every day, then she settled down to work.

Result.

OP posts:
Vintagegramaphone · 09/11/2015 16:50

I can't believe some people are calling the OP 'selfish'. She was happy to be flexible and help out, but not happy to be forced into making this a new norm.
Her colleague was being totally selfish, not to mention incredibly rude, and I'm glad she has now been called on it.

AliceInUnderpants · 09/11/2015 17:00

I thought YWNBU to be pissed off at her calling you a selfish bitch, but that you could maybe try to be a bit more understanding to her problem.

After your latest post, I realise you ARE a bitch.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/11/2015 17:11

Result? Seriously you reduced someone to tears. Alice is right.

DontHaveAUsername · 09/11/2015 17:16

YANBU at all, your colleague is being very unreasonable. Working through your break as a one off to help her is fine, but expecting it on an ongoing basis is not. Can't believe she called you a selfish bitch, you should complain about that.

Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 09/11/2015 17:17

No not me who reduced her to tears. It was the head chef and the union rep who insist that she does the hours she agreed to, when she signed her contract. The only thing that I and my other colleagues have done is say that we won't miss our meal break because she can't sort her childcare out. I mean WTF? She's had all weekend to figure it out.

OP posts:
whois · 09/11/2015 17:22

Zoe that doesn't make sense 30 minutes work is 30 minutes work.

That just isn't true. It is often much ore efficient to work as a team om tasks.

For example, if you have three people washing up - one person getting the things that need washing up, one person doing it and another drying and putting away - you will do that more then 3x as quickly as if you had to do all of that yourself due to things like running out of surface space to pile the dirty washing on, running out of room to put the wet but clean stuff on.

whois · 09/11/2015 17:24

FFS people, the OP didn't reduce her to tears. Read the post. The OP isn't the one who told her off, that would be her boss.

Sunnyminimalist2 · 09/11/2015 17:35

Can't you all just work out set jobs that she has to do while you have your break? This would ensure she does her fair share before leaving

I work in a kitchen in a care setting and we often operate as a tag team

Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 09/11/2015 17:39

Because the head chef already have a system in place that works well for all of us. Why should it be changed to suit one person?

OP posts: