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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put baby in the corner?

121 replies

MissTwister · 08/11/2015 13:15

...Or more specifically in her own room before 6 months?

She keeps us awake all night with her little noises and more often than not my husband and I take it in turns to sleep in other room.

We would like to sleep in a bed together again and get some sleep but obviously don't want to put her in danger....

OP posts:
PassiveAgressiveQueen · 09/11/2015 20:54

It isn't the waking that is the problem, it is that some parents are unable to sleep through all the little snuffles their baby makes, so whilst baby is sleeping happily, mother is lying wide awake, being kept awake by every breath, every snuffle, every time the breath is slower than last second.

Headofthehive55 · 09/11/2015 20:54

Well my house is like the city that never sleeps...what with young children waking early, DH leaving/ arriving at all hours for work / flights, older children staying up late with boyfriend or driving home late, or texting me at bizzare times like 2am because wait for it they can't sleep..

I confess to co sleeping with three of them. I don't think it was considered a risk then. I did get good nights though then....

MummaGiles · 09/11/2015 20:55

Our DS went in his own room at 10 weeks. He's 9 months now. He slept better. We slept better. Totally worth it.

Headofthehive55 · 09/11/2015 20:56

Oh and I forgot the piped oxygen and feeding pump. goodness that was noisy! Good luck all!

MissTwister · 09/11/2015 21:37

She sleeps through 8-6. It's me that's awake every hour or so when she snuffles.Then I feel the need to check she's breathing!

Sure I can brave it another 2 months...

OP posts:
Lilipot15 · 09/11/2015 22:18

Goodness OP, count yourself extremely lucky with that sleep pattern!!!

IndiaRaine · 09/11/2015 22:55

So if the baby outgrows the Moses basket and you can't physically fit a cot or a travel cot into your room....what is it you're supposed to do? Confused

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 09/11/2015 23:19

Move the father out, put a single bed in and the cot, everything is worth it for the baby.

waitingforsomething · 10/11/2015 06:20

'Move the father out'??! How will this help op sleep through a snuffly grunty baby? Dads are people too that get to be involved in decision making- perhaps op and her dh like to sleep in the same room.

Senpai · 10/11/2015 07:05

PA was being sarcastic. Wink

waitingforsomething · 10/11/2015 07:22

Aha ok - early start here! I have read a thread like that recently though...

BestZebbie · 10/11/2015 10:38

We moved our DS to a cot in his own room when he outgrew the moses basket at 4.5 months - but then I slept on the floor in his room with him until he had turned 6 months to reduce the SIDS risk. It seemed a long time at the time, but now at a year old and after 6 months of being back with my husband it has faded completely from memory (unless specifically thinking about the issue like here).

PeasinPod1 · 10/11/2015 11:25

IndiaRaine you get a sleepyhead and put that in bed next to you, makes co-sleeping safe.

TBH am shocked at how many here just moved baby out at such an early age- despite all the clear advice. Just not worth it! 6 months passes so quickly and I loved having DS so close by, despite the interrupted sleep.

munkisocks · 10/11/2015 11:55

Our girl went in her own room at about 10 weeks as I couldn't cope with her constant snuffling. She had a night light on playing music which sent her to sleep. She's only in next room so I can hear her cry or wake up. She's now 18 weeks and doing great. My hv said it was better as I could get some sleep.

starkers1 · 10/11/2015 13:27

Sorry to sound harsh, but this "I couldn't cope with the constant snuffling" oh didums- you all chose to have these babies! The first half a year is expected to involve unbroken/not much sleep. Its not forever!

You may well hear your baby cry from next room, but if they were in difficulty or stress the movement's and noises might be far quieter and only you being very close to them could alert you to this.

waitingforsomething · 10/11/2015 13:34

Its not really like that. I don't know about you but I am a dreadful light sleeper. I cannot sleep through low level noise- I just can't. If I can't get any sleep between feeds then that totals zero hours of sleep per night. No daytime naps as have an older one who is awake all day.
This puts me in a frankly dangerous position to care for my children; I cannot drive them or be safe with them.
Not everyone is the same- something has to give in extreme situations and it isn't for others to judge. There is lots of advice given (breastfeed, back sleeping, in room for 6mo) but not everything works for everyone whilst retaining sanity.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 10/11/2015 13:36

thank you Senpai

lborgia · 10/11/2015 13:43

You do know that walking into a room and finding a baby who has died does not make a mummy martyr? What a revolting expression to use about people who have experienced loss or want to try and avoid it.

It isn't "a game", it isn't a fad (the six month guide has been around for 25 years), and how many times does someone need to shout "just because you got through unscathed doesn't mean it doesn't fucking happen"? How dare you comment, pp, on whether we are passing neurosis or anxiety onto our children by trying to make sure i never experience anything like that again. I work so hard at making sure my ghosts remain in the background, that they are allowed to fall, to have light-filled days and laughter whenever possible, even when I'm overcome by a wave of dread as they walk away at the school gate. . I know i can't protect them from everything. Don't you think i fucking know that??

You can say whatever you want, to my ears it will always sound defensive or snide.

Anyone who thinks they'll wing it is well within their rights, but don't you dare dress it up as equal to or even superior to decades of scientists trying to work out what the hell the link is.

If you had found an action that we should all stop because it increased the likelihood of babies dying, you'd be on a daytime sofa plugging the book of the film with a sad face.

Thousands of doctors, scientists, WHO personnel etc do not waste their time publishing risk factors because there's nothing better to do.

So distressed by the smug wrong footed self-justifying comments on here. Shame. On. You.

lborgia · 10/11/2015 13:45

Oh, and to those who are truly sleep deprived, it of course makes perfect sense to move them.

PeasinPod1 · 10/11/2015 13:50

lborgia so sorry for your loss. Couldn't agree with your post more.
Also re. the genuinely sleep deprived, though a lot of mums I knew just found babies noises irritating and also mentioned wanting to be close to "hubby" again so turfed baby out at a few weeks old. Thats just plain selfish. Only genuinely super light sleepers/the sleep deprived who have no other option are justified IMO.

lborgia · 10/11/2015 13:54

Pod - didn't realist how it would look - i was just the 15 year old who looked after the baby 8 hours a day for the 13 weeks of his life so i don't think it really counts as my loss although it obviously still has a slight impact 30 years later. Can only imagine if it was my own child. All the risk factors were there, we just didn't know they were risks.

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