Backstory: DB is in his 30s mental health issues going right back and recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum (Although I have some experience in the area and I don't quite see it?).
He has never worked, has no qualifications, claims benefits, has always lived with our parents and spends his time in bed or gaming. He has been in this situation for 15+ years.
He talks about wanting to get a job, have a career, move out and over the years there have been a few failed attempts at training courses, college and university courses but everything always becomes "too much" and despite being rather bright he never completes them.
Recently DB had a "crisis" just after his ESA renewal was rejected and ended up back on medication although he is stable again now and has won his appeal. The team DB was treated under said it would be beneficial for him to have some structure to his day and referred him to a charity that helps people get back into employment. To cut a long story short they have spent a long of time with DB building him up with voluntary work (which he says he enjoyed) and have now helped him get an almost perfect job offer trial.
This week he has turned around and says he can't do it, he won't cope, it isn't worth it financially and he won't even give it a try. Our DPs are supporting him in this decision and he is now saying he is going to quit the voluntary role as it is "pointless".
AIBU to think DB doesn't actually want to work as he is in a comfort zone. And to think DM/DD should issue an ultimatum for him to at least TRY or move out. How else will he ever learn to "cope" with his issues? I fear otherwise DB is going to spend the next 30 years stuck at home mooching off our parents leaving them penniless in retirement ?
I sound like a heartless bitch but it seems as though he is doing nothing to help himself and quite frankly I'm exhausted because DM turns to me for emotional support and I'm sick of everything being about DB and his issues.