To maintain an unhealthy BMI?

[AliceScarlett]

Anything between 16.5 and 18.5 is OK with me, for me. I won't let it get above 18.5.
I have not noticed any physical health problems (apart from being bloody freezing all the time). I don't look emaciated and I eat healthy food, but about 1300 cals a day.

DH disagrees, he worries and thinks I'm "being anorexic" and is concerned about how it might effect my fertility (we are going to start ttc in 6 months).

I think I'm fine and BMI isn't the be all and end all of healthy weights anyway.

Too much awareness of and adherence to numbers suggests a relationship with eating that isn't entirely casual and easy.

^This. Please speak to your GP / a counselor. It sounds like you are fixated on remaining underweight/controlling your weight to an unhealthy degree.

If you're hungry before bed you're not eating 600 cals worth of dinner, that's a fairly hefty portion and you said you were eating a small portion.

I'm not wanting people to tell me what I want to hear, if I thought AIBU would do that I'd be delusional

Thighs are biggee than knees, elbows are smaller than shoulder muscles, but I can see my pelvis.

I don't exercise, but I do feel strong, and confident. Most of the time.

I've been underweight by a similar BMI to yours - now I'm overweight and frankly I wish I'd stayed underweight! I did flap when I began gaining and my doctor told me not to worry. Argh. Now I'm trying very hard to lose. If I had to eat 1300 cals a day the rest of my life to stay slim, I'd be okay on a non-workout day I think.

Re the calories, if you're not very active then 1300 might well be fine.

I do think that people can go over/under without being unhealthy. Ironically my health hasn't changed much at all with my weight, except possibly my insomnia is not as bad as it was now I'm overweight...!

If you feel fine, I wouldn't start eating more. The only obvious problem I was warned about was osteoporosis but I've always lifted weights. Also depends how you feel about your fertility but I'm CF so wasn't fussed.

oh hang on

scratch that - you're hungry? In that case I'd say you're not eating enough. I wasn't hungry when I was underweight.

Today I've had
Poached egg, bacon, tomatoes
Large chicken caeser salad
2 crackers with Stilton
Pork loin, new potatoes, cabbage, carrots, gravy.
6 squares of Lindt
And that only came to 1250 cals

Sorry, TurnOff, but I'm another calorie counter who can't see how that in any way is only 1250 kcals. Given that people are far more likely to underestimate their kcals rather than overestimate, I would guess that you are incorrect on this one.

PS when I was underweight, I was freezing
when I was average weight, I was freezing
Now i'm overweight...I'm freezing! Gah!

Its food for thought (bad pun), but I don't think I'll be seeing my GP. So, there's no point trying to reason with me is there? I'm moaning about something I'm not willing to change. I dislike that trait in others and now I'm doing it myself, maybe thats a bit of a wake up call. Ive always thought you shouldn't really moan and ask for advice if your not going to take it and try to make positive changes. Lost cause atm guys I'm afraid.

Then I wait til 10pm, eat yogurt, raisins and choc chips (200cals worth) then bed because I can't sleep hungry.

This is not right! Your body is telling you that you need food. You do sound like you have an issue with food.

What made you start this thread op?

And now the last few replies are making me think, hold on, why are you listening to randoms on the internet. Id also rather keep eating 1300 than get fat again. Was nice not to be so cold tho.

On some level you must be worried about your eating or you wouldn't have started this thread. When you're ready to acknowledge that your GP will be only too happy to help you.

I started this thread because a tiny part of my brain was saying "what if DH is right and by dieting I've developed an ED and and I'm just in denial" and I trust you lot to tell it how it is. I love the no bullshit aspect of AIBU.

The only person who can change anything is you, not us, not your GP or your DH.
You could go for a health check, get some bloods done and consider some sustainable subtle weight changes, like, I dunno, at least aim for a BMI of 19? You know, a healthy one?
But it is entirely up to you - I'd just really recommend that you don't consider pregnancy and parenthood just now. Babies are one the least controllable things I know….

Must admit I don't think my GP can help. Sorry I just don't. I know that's really annoying.

Wow OP you must have a really low metabolic rate if you don't lose weight on 1300 calories a day. And not move around very much or very fast.

Imagine if you eat a little more, you will pile weight on because you have trained your metabolic rate to be so low. Or when you get older and your metabolic rate naturally decreases.

I'm not sure why you've posted either.

I DO have an eating disorder that I've worked on recovering from, I have therapy and have managed two successful pregnancies.

I feel the exact same struggle, I have a higher BMI, but it is hard to keep it there and not try and put it in the underweight bracket. I also know I'm not fat, but that doesn't mean I don't have an eating disorder.

Maybe try BEAT or the anorexia and bulimia charities? When I first reached out for help, they were really good.

I am not saying you're anorexic, but that you might have a disordered approach to food and weight.

What do you think your GP will think of your weight? Are you worried they'd tell you you should try and put weight on?

Why do you think your GP can't help? Could you try a different GP? You don't really know what their advice will be unless you give them a chance, but they will be familiar with this kind of problem and should have some helpful suggestions.

Having a look at BEAT is a great idea even if you do nothing else.

Any doctor can only help if you want to make changes.

Put OP into this
www.bmi3d.com/calculator.html
I've assumed unfit

so, is that what you look like ?

I'd say that you're not being unreasonable to eat that amount of calories. I eat about 1400 a day to maintain a bmi of 23. HONESTLY. I know that's weird. But I obviously can't judge you on the basis of what you eat!

I do think that you probably look very thin, so I'd be curious as to why you don't "allow" yourself to eat a bit more. Obviously for me, it's a necessity (a kind of necessity) but ........... if you really are eating 1300 you're just naturally thin. So just don't deny yourself all the time

being aware of your BMI and calories and not wanting to go above a certain BMI does not mean you have an eating disorder.

Many people healthy people track calories to remain healthy (and for many other reasons)

People are so quick to jump on the she has an eating disorder band wagon