To cancel dd's birthday tomorrow?

[AutumnDaze]

Because she has just woken up. Again.

She is 3 tomorrow and for the last year or so has started to wake up more and more during the night. Obviously I don't mind this when she is poorly or needs the toilet etc but she is waking for no apparent reason. We then have to perform some ridiculously longwinded ritual of ''goodnight, sleeptight''... only for her to shout us again with something else.

I am 30 weeks pregnant, tired beyond belief (it hasn't been an easy pregnancy) and I am desperate.

She is a very bright child, with an excellent comprehension of language etc and I am confident that she would understand if this were explained to her.

Am I just lashing out (because I am so frigging tired and angry right now) or is this a reasonable thing to do?

YABU

It seems to me you're taking out your understandable exhaustion on your daughter when it's your husband who you should be angry with. Obviously I don't know the whole picture, but from the bits I've read he seems very disengaged and passive... If he shouldered his share of the responsibility you probably wouldn't have been feeling ready to cancel your 3 y/o daughter's birthday! Your husband should be made to understand the impact of his detachment on you and your daughter... Ffs, you're heavily pregnant - if he won't step up now when will he!

I was going to attempt my own well reasoned response, but I think this post puts it very well, and is worth repeating:

"It should probably give you pause for thought that you are expecting your dd to show maturity beyond her years in her night-time behaviour while your dh lets himself off the most elementary hooks - indeed you are expecting this of your dd indirectly because your dh is not stepping up. He, not she, is the one here who shouldn't be indulged."

IMO, the main points are:

• Your DD is 3. She has no control over waking at night. I am much much older than 3 and often wake at night for no reason. She is not doing anything to warrant being 'punished.'
• Your DH needs to do more. If he doesn't you are going to be even more exhausted when new baby is here. That is not fair on you or your DCs

I hope things are better today and your DD had a nice birthday