To sometimes feel like a brusque tweedy old lady on MN

[Imogentlasting]

I'm not that old, but some of the views on here really astound me. No one touch my child (on a thread I started); Christmas is just for me and my little unit, no relatives allowed; how dare an elderly person park in a P&T space; etc etc etc

AIBU to sometimes think the world is slowly going mad?

I was trying to agree with Topseyt

I do think there is a prevailing air of unkindness on many threads. I'm sure people will remember that mahoosive thread on whether you should share a table in cafes. Now, any half-decent person would not hog a table for four in a busy cafe, and would agree to share if someone was hovering with a tray and had nowhere to sit. On that thread there were people bristling with outrage over scenarios of religiously-sensitive women being eyeballed by tray-wielding perverts.

Also agree that everybody has to be assumed to have some kind of hidden disability, except half the population (men) and another large slice being older women, including all mils. They are just obnoxious.

I'm not partciularly tweedy but checking in anyway.

Rhoda Yes I remember that thread about the tables in a cafe. I was at some of the comments. Where's the friendliness, the warmth, the smiles and empathy with your fellow human being - it's very lacking in parts on MN!

I love a brusque, tweedy lady. They make me feel safe i probably need some counseling or something. I remember the 'table for four on a train' thread. And one poster saying that she didn't like people sitting next to her, so even if people were standing in the aisles, tough shit, she liked an empty seat. Brusque talking to required!

Tough I know, wasn't she? My dm would have sat down whatever she said (and talked to any babies that were nearby)

The thing is (hoiking cashmere clad bosom and straightening pearls) that all the moaning, disapproval, misplaced indignation, playing the victim must be just so exhausting and terrible for the kids and others who have to live with it in real life. Where's the fun? Glad to say I was brought up by a wonderful Nan who'd mothered her own siblings from the age of 14 when their mum died. Do unto others...The more the merrier....It'll pass...Smile and the world smiles with you were just some of her mantras and my favourite Count your blessings and get on with it!

I don't agree with many of the statements on this thread, but I do encourage brusquness when appropriate (which is often)

Just go on the thread and tell them all they are being silly, if that's what you think.

But the flip side is that there's been this massive loss of community knowledge, isolating people into little units, and then burdening them with the increasing idea that these days everything has to be done right.

You don't want to be the one raising your child wrong, you don't want to be the one blamed for anything - the Internet, society, everyone will and could judge you forever more, and there are a million conflicting pieces of advice out there on something as simple as "should I let a stranger hold my baby?"

It's much easier to be protective and to assume the worse of everyone, because we don't know the people we live near anymore, and there aren't fixed social nicety rules.

Because of all this, the mildest perceived or actual criticism can provoke massive hostility. I think people have forgotten how to be imperfect, and how to apologise and move on when they get it wrong.

I have only skim read this thread, but MN seems to be full of the professionally offended or people looking for offence in harmless remarks.

I'm glad you started this OP.

I for one am glad that I don't live in a small village with no internet and little migration, where the only opinions I get about "the right way" to do things are from my mum and aunties and the other ladies in the village, who all do everything the same way and don't even consider that there could be another way to do things.

Trills you could always live in a tiny village with broadband where you are the migrant, a thousand miles from your mum and aunties - that's what I do actually I don't have any aunties , dead good sense of community and people who do things differently :o

but some of the views on here really astound me. No one touch my child (on a thread I started); Christmas is just for me and my little unit, no relatives allowed; how dare an elderly person park in a P&T

OP I feel that as well. I always was told how indulged I was as I grew up (I'm mid-50s now). But in comparison with those a generation younger than me I have a stiff upper lip made of cast iron.

I console myself by testing out my theorem that there's in inverse relation between ease of being offended and IQ

The "professionally offended" - yes! That sums it up. I do agree that people are looking to be offended and just hoping that the general public will - according to them - act true to form. I prefer to look for the best in people, not the worst but I have no hesitating in pulling anyone up who's acting like an arse. I can then be very brusque!

Finest moment recently - supermarket queue. A couple who were well into their eighties accidentally jumped the queue but it was through dithering and age and not intentional. Vile thug type starting effing and blinding at them, it was horrible what he was saying. They looked so flustered and upset. Everyone turned the other way or just looked down. I let it go for a short while thinking cashier would step in. No, didn't happen. Then the lion (me) roared loudly. "Stop NOW. How DARE you use such disgusting language and call these two lovely people such awful names. Stop it AT ONCE". (and more). He called me a fucking stuck up bitch but it went unheard because our queue and either side were clapping . He sloped off out of Tesco muttering and swearing to himself.

Sense of entitlement, selfishness, my way or the high way attitude etc. etc. are not age specific. That is the part this thread has wrong. There are as many absolutely self centred, self indulgent, professionally offended people (and as many open, community minded, tolerant people too) in every age bracket, though the things they are self centred and entitled and "I'm all right Jack" or isolationist or demanding about vary by life stage.

Trills, no, it's definitely not my ideal either. But it goes some way to explaining why it is the way it is - we don't really live in communities anymore, which is why people can "break the rules".

Maybe society has always needed the 'crotchety old ladies' to tell people to get a sense of perspective?

Kacie They are called the Oma Police where we live (by my kids anyway... Oma is German for Grandma. They are a bit obsessed with babies wearing hats year round, but otherwise fulfil the function you refer to :o ).

Ha, brilliant iliked!

As my mum used to say, "A nasty young person turns into a nasty old person." But the internet has sort of validated nastiness or mean-spirited opinions. I also think FB and twitter have a lot to answer for - and the dreaded blogs (urrrgggh). I am in full tweedy mode now! People confuse having an opinion with being right. And that they deserve to be heard and, worse, that people are interested. I am so not interested in silly people's silly blogs with insights and observations that about a million other people have had already but didn't feel the need to broadcast.

Yes to the LTB. When I was very new to MN someone posted about whether she should leave a long distance 1 year relationship. She posted lots of positive things about him and one negative.

Everyone said it was a deal breaker. It was nothing violent or obnoxious. I posted an opposite point of view.

The next poster said that my post "was the oddest reply she had ever read on MM"

I was irrationally proud of that achievement.

I was brusque and tweedy on a train recently, twice in fact

Older couple , he was manspreading, she had her bag an coat on the next seat, dd and I got on, they were looking fixedly out of the window, the view at the station is really not that riveting.

so I sat next to him, my large handbag practically nestling on his gentleman's area as I got comfy, and gestured to dd saying "I am sure this lady WILL move her bag"

He straightened up, she clutched her bag and coat, and dd got seated(I set my bag under my feet after getting settled.)

and later in the week I used the same tone when a group of ladies looking for seats to focus the attention of the two passengers hogging a four table with their luggage.

Mostly on here I want to clatter folks' heads together, but that probably makes me a violent abuser. 3)