Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16

Original poster

To sometimes feel like a brusque tweedy old lady on MN

391 replies

Imogentlasting · 04/11/2015 10:52

I'm not that old, but some of the views on here really astound me. No one touch my child (on a thread I started); Christmas is just for me and my little unit, no relatives allowed; how dare an elderly person park in a P&T space; etc etc etc

AIBU to sometimes think the world is slowly going mad?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

RhodaBull · 08/11/2015 17:52

I would love some friends as a combination of having moved around a bit and shyness (concealed under a tweedy bluster) has left me mateless.

But - so many threads sneer at anyone trying to be friendly at the school gate (people are busy - get a life) , at work (make your friends out of work) or let alone when you're out and about (a certifiable creep) that I can't see how anyone can reasonably make any friends according the laws of MN.

spankhurst · 08/11/2015 18:01

Agree, OP. Although I do get a chuckle following a lively thread and seeing how the opinions shift in line with those of the most strident poster regardless of silliness

ginslinger · 08/11/2015 18:10

There seem to be some very bloody-minded people on here at the moment who would reply white if someone posted black. It's very frustrating watching the bullisness of some posters

sugar21 · 08/11/2015 18:20

So many spiteful hateful posts about parents I don't understand it. My Dad died years ago and I would love to see my Mum but I can't afford to visit her. She lives abroad and she hasn't got the air fare to visit me
I hope the nastiness comes back and bites them on the arse. Selfish entitled maggots, they will still want their inheritance I bet

Oh I'm 34 and very tweedy and pearl clutchy

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 08/11/2015 18:26

Often all these arrangements fall on the shoulders of the woman. She has to buy the food, plan it, cook it, clean up etc.

This is the bit i don't understand, in our family everyone mucked in, you walked through the door and you were all expected to help, (ok maybe not the adult men, but that changed in later years).

Senpai · 08/11/2015 18:32

the amount of fuming, getting the rage and being totally outraged that goes on is mind boggling. I can't be arsed with it myself. It is usually over total trivia, and is for those with far too much time on their hands

To be fair, if we're on MN we probably do have too much time on our hands.

Senpai · 08/11/2015 18:38

I was told I was NEEDY because I only have friends so Im not lonely

Isn't that why anyone has friends? Humans are social creatures. We need friends (be it family or chosen) to be happy. If you get to the root of it, everyone interacts with other people they enjoy so they feel connected and not lonely. Isolation is unhealthy for you, and generally if you are isolating yourself it's a sign of depression.

I have lots of friends, some acquaintances, some life long, some family. I have them so I feel connected, enjoy their company, and I would be lonely by myself.

Laska5772 · 08/11/2015 18:44

I'm in , as a mother of a 25 year old son, im saddened to read of someone who has diagnosed her 'DH' as having a 'recognised syndrome' called MEM Mother Emeshed Men).. because he helps his mum out ,and by doing so of course - though he denies this - puts her always in front of his wife and 'his own' family

Also someone who is furious that her younegr sister has just announced she is pregnant and so her own littl edarling wil not have his 'rightful time' of beingthe new baby wonder darliong of the family fo rhis whole first year..

sigh.. but then I am just an old bat ..

Sansoora · 08/11/2015 18:45

She lives abroad and she hasn't got the air fare to visit me

Thats very sad. Could you perhaps pay half each for one of you to visit the other.

Laska5772 · 08/11/2015 18:46

oh sorry about my typing.. was too incensed to preview..

DotForShort · 08/11/2015 19:06

I used to visit MN virtually every day. Now I occasionally stop by for the odd 15 minutes. One reason I have cut back drastically on my MN habit is precisely the sort of thing detailed in the OP. I found myself frequently wanting to post, "Oh FGS get over yourself." Thus far I have been able to restrain myself, but the temptation. . . is. . . so. . . strong. . .

wickedlazy · 08/11/2015 19:33

Hmm. Admittedly I only know 3 people from NI, but I find all of them really insular rude and selfish! Is that why they live here.. !?

No comment other than to say a particular type of NI person seems to feel more at home in England

IfNotNowThenWhenever · 08/11/2015 19:43

Oh yeah Laska if you have a son you had better prepare yourself to bow out of his life gracefully (and gratefully!?) when he gets himself a steady partner.
Lots of MIL threads make me a bit worried, as I only have a son. I fully expect to be characterised as the mother in law from Hell because I might want to see him more than once a year.

P1nkP0ppy · 08/11/2015 19:59

I can't help thinking there's sometimes a parallel universe on MN that completely baffles me ( I'm 'old' too ), and that has somehow completely passed me by!
As for the thread about the pregnant younger sister, my niece fell out with her brother big time because not only did he get married before her, he also had the first grandchild. Her attitude was 'How dare he?' despite her being neither planning a wedding or a pregnancy.

7Days · 08/11/2015 22:45

I suppose here is where you let out those nasty feelings that you know enough not to express in real life. A safe space for your inner child - especially if your inner child is a whingey brat who needs a sharp smack, which mine can be.
Then back to RL as a functioning adult. Which is why we don't seem to come across these bonkeroos in RL.

Toadinthehole · 09/11/2015 03:00

The very nature of message boards and forums encourage people to be nasty. Often it is the only way to make onesself heard. I reckon most people on AIBU are lovely in real life, even those who make idiots of themselves on here like me.

Senpai · 09/11/2015 03:15

As for the thread about the pregnant younger sister, my niece fell out with her brother big time because not only did he get married before her, he also had the first grandchild. Her attitude was 'How dare he?' despite her being neither planning a wedding or a pregnancy.

My aunt held a grudge against my mother for having the first boy in the family that would carry on the family name the same time she was having her first child (who was a girl). Not that it would even matter because her boy would have carried on her husband's family name, not her mother's. But then a few years later she had a bunch of boys of her own, and the grudge was dropped.

Ironically my brother, who is the only one who can carry down the name has had no children and doesn't plan to do so.

..Yes, women can keep their last names now, but children still get the father's name.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 09/11/2015 07:04

This is the bit i don't understand, in our family everyone mucked in, you walked through the door and you were all expected to help, (ok maybe not the adult men, but that changed in later years).

In lots of familys that didn't change, the men still don't help and if they do they expect a medal. The woman still has to plan everything and do all the thinking. Screw that for a game of soldiers!

mollie123 · 09/11/2015 07:09

rockin and roussette - brave souls to venture onto Gnet - bet you never ventured onto the aibu or News and politics threads .
I left as I got tired of being hectored by the left leaning, Guardian reading ex-teachers 'coven' who had the nerve to call me a troll because I introduced a note of levity into a 'serious thread' - of course I was really trying to derail it in the nicest possible way
Tweediness is a state of mind and not of age and if we were blokes we would be known as old/young fogies but I would not be any other way.
My favourite admonitions from childhood were 'no such word as can't', 'just get on with it'
In RL I do not believe the majority of people behave in a non-tweedy way - just the keyboard warriors who cannot be 'outed'.

treaclesoda · 09/11/2015 07:48

7days that could well be true, but it then raises the horrifying prospect that all those perfectly lovely seeming people that we are all friends with, related to, come across at the school gates, chat to in a shop, are all bristling with fury underneath at all the perceived wrongs we have done them.

Personally I would honestly prefer that they just were honest about it, then we would all know where we stand.

SarahSavesTheDay · 09/11/2015 08:48

Whomever the cooking rests with, it's part of being a grown up and a host. I wouldn't be very impressed if my grown children and their wives couldn't be bothered to cook when I visit. Are you supposed to go out for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the duration of a visit?

I can't imagine how uncomfortable I'd feel if I had houseguests and I had nothing to offer them.

SarahSavesTheDay · 09/11/2015 08:53

I do find it incredibly strange that some people avoid socialising through their children's school on principle. I'm an expat - for me, my kids starting school was a lifesaver for my social life.

RhodaBull · 09/11/2015 09:53

Having been on MN over ten years I have only just read that you are "not allowed" to comment on other threads . But I am a tweedy rebel so I'll draw your attention to the chicken drumstick affair that's being discussed at the moment: apparently a poster's dc's lunchtime chicken leg is causing angst for the class vegetarian. And some posters are advocating presenting the chicken in an alternative manner . People feel chicken drumsticks are offensive?!

Original poster

Imogentlasting · 09/11/2015 11:03

"Well my tweedie self would say an 8 year old and ten year old are more than capable of standing on a station platform! Does that make me an improper tweedie?"

Exactly. I am shocked that anyone would expect grown ups to offer seats to 8 and 10 year olds without good reason. In my day, it was the other way around.

OP posts:

Original poster

Imogentlasting · 09/11/2015 11:09

In fact, I think that woman should be made to hand back her tweeds

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16