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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to leave teenage DD home alone one night so I can spend the night shagging in a hotel?

90 replies

HotelShagger · 03/11/2015 22:13

DD is 14 and a homebird. She also has near-supersonic hearing, and usually goes to bed at the same time as me and DH. The walls are thin enough that we can hold conversations with each other from each other's rooms. We deal with it by DTD as quietly as possible. DH and me are huge fans of loud, active sex but that isn't going to happen while DD is at home, and hasn't happened for a long time. I know I should probably be grateful to be having any sex at all. I am, but I'd like to be able to really let loose for once. I want to have a proper, noisy shag with us making as much noise as we feel making, without worrying about traumatising DD or being slapped with noise abatement orders by the neighbours.

WIBU to leave DD at home for one night so we could sneak off to a cheap hotel? She hasn't been on her own overnight before. It would be a Friday or Saturday in case anyone is wondering. Alternatively if anyone has any suggestions about getting away with loud DTDing when you have older kids at home, I would welcome them.

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 04/11/2015 01:06

I would have been terrified being left alone overnight at 14 overnight, I think it would be very cruel to do this to a teenager, and utterly unnecessary.

If anything did happen you would feel absolutely terrible.

I've said before I burnt a hole in the sofa with a cigarette and set a chip pan on fire, all older than 14.

The fact that some kids could cope with a night alone doesn't mean it is OK to leave them.

(Still not sure this is a genuine request!)

BusShelter · 04/11/2015 01:51

Very weird thing to post about. I'd have thought it more important to post about how your 14 year old never leaves the house not even at the weekends. Doesn't she see her friends or go shopping or do anything?

nooka · 04/11/2015 01:55

I was babysitting at 14, as were most of my friends so I don't see this as some terribly abusive act. A very expensive option though!

Surely you can get her to go out instead?

Makes me understand why the Japansese have love hotels

NerrSnerr · 04/11/2015 02:36

I am surprised at all the 14 year olds who'd be scared to be left alone. I say go for it.

Serioussteve · 04/11/2015 02:50

Why is sex still such a taboo subject. Just get on with it, so what if teens hear you. My two grew up knowing they could (and did) ask absolutely a anything about sex. DD even asked about a safe place to buy toys from.

NotTheSpiceOfLife · 04/11/2015 08:08

I'm amazed at all the people saying that they would have been scared to be left at 14! Really?

I was 14 in 1984 and I would have loved it!

Groovee · 04/11/2015 08:13

We have a teen with supersonic hearing and if our bed creaks with us turning over in bed she's making comments.

The bathroom has been our friend for a spontaneous shag.

But it's harder now than it was when they were toddlers.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 04/11/2015 08:24

Can't you just watch a really loud war film in your bedroom?

BeanGirls · 04/11/2015 09:02

Go for a drive and shag in the car
Take a morning off work
Send her to cinema/friends/sleepover/to the shops......

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 04/11/2015 09:15

Ponytailandquiff · 04/11/2015 09:27

I'm in awe that you still want to have sex after more than 14 years together .

RhodaBull · 04/11/2015 09:34

at the really loud war film !! But you would have to time your...er... exclamations... quite carefully.

Always makes me a bit queasy when I think of people in times past who all slept in the same room. Even in Little House on the Prairie Laura has to board with a couple when she is teaching, and she is separated from them by a curtain.

I really don't like "modern parents" who let it all hang out. A friend of mine had parents who tried to be all modern and "we have sex every night, it's natural" sort of thing. One of their dcs became very promiscuous, one became a vicar, and my friend just died a thousand embarrassments.

PeasePuddingCold · 04/11/2015 09:40

Goodness me, I was babysitting my 3 younger siblings (ages 12-7) at age 14. That is, our parents would go out, and we would get ourselves to bed in the usual routine. It's only a drama or neglect if you make it so.

MushroomMama · 04/11/2015 09:51

I was regularly left from the age of 12 with a 1 year old to look after. That being said I don't think it was appropriate now that I'm a parent.

Just book a day off work and shag the day away! Or just have sex late at night on the weekend!

Fluffy40 · 04/11/2015 09:54

If she's confident I would say it's fine, it's only one night, or just have a daytime shag

space0bongo · 04/11/2015 09:58

By 14 most but not all of my friends' kids were considered responsible enough to be left home alone, but it really does depend on your DD. If she hasn't ever stayed away/home alone before, then she's probably not ready.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 04/11/2015 10:08

At 14 I was ecstatic when my parents let me home alone and went somewhere else! She is not a toddler, she is a teen! Normal parents with NT children should already have taught them to be sensible and self-sufficient!

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 04/11/2015 10:15

Does she never go out? Sign her up for some clubs!!

Helmetbymidnight · 04/11/2015 10:16

Loft extension?

weeblueberry · 04/11/2015 10:22

Can't you just watch a really loud war film in your bedroom?

Laughed out loud at work.

ifgrandmahadawilly · 04/11/2015 10:25

Just get over your shyness.

Who cares if she hears you having loud sex? It's not going to scar her for life or anything. It may just mean that she makes herself scarce a little more often for you, by choice.

PennyHasNoSurname · 04/11/2015 10:31

Doesnt she go out in the evenings/weekends? To friends, to cinema, wherever?

Ifiwasabadger · 04/11/2015 10:38

I would totally do this. It's one night, go for it.

To the poster who said just have a loud shag whilst she is next door....really?!

One of my most awful memories is waking up hearing my parents have sex. Totally grim. What teenager is going to brush that off?!

IrianofWay · 04/11/2015 10:43

14 is a bit young to be left alone all night. I wouldn't.

We get by on early am sex on the weekends. Seems to work quite well. Or just wear a gag....

MrsJayy · 04/11/2015 10:45

This is why we have a tv in our room just get on with it if she hears she might be tempted to go to her friends house i wouldnt leave her though if she is a homebird then she would probably want to come with you or not want you to go and leave her if you really want a dirty night away organise it tell her you are going to something so she can arrange to stay at a friends.

Always wondered why i was sent to Sunday school parents never went to church ever yet Sunday school was always packed

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