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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to leave teenage DD home alone one night so I can spend the night shagging in a hotel?

90 replies

HotelShagger · 03/11/2015 22:13

DD is 14 and a homebird. She also has near-supersonic hearing, and usually goes to bed at the same time as me and DH. The walls are thin enough that we can hold conversations with each other from each other's rooms. We deal with it by DTD as quietly as possible. DH and me are huge fans of loud, active sex but that isn't going to happen while DD is at home, and hasn't happened for a long time. I know I should probably be grateful to be having any sex at all. I am, but I'd like to be able to really let loose for once. I want to have a proper, noisy shag with us making as much noise as we feel making, without worrying about traumatising DD or being slapped with noise abatement orders by the neighbours.

WIBU to leave DD at home for one night so we could sneak off to a cheap hotel? She hasn't been on her own overnight before. It would be a Friday or Saturday in case anyone is wondering. Alternatively if anyone has any suggestions about getting away with loud DTDing when you have older kids at home, I would welcome them.

OP posts:

CatMilkMan · 03/11/2015 23:02

What if she invited her boyfriend round/has a party/gets worried/sets house on fire with hair straighters?
Yabu until she is 16 or thereabouts.
Just pop some loud music on when you DTD or send her to the shop with a long list.

What the fuck? Everything in the world could go wrong... Until she is older and then... Either it can't go wrong or it's not your fault? Christ alive.

StillMedusa · 03/11/2015 23:03

It's not actually illegal Iliveatthebeach... there is no law defining the actual age, only NSPCC guidelines.

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

However you could theoretically be prosecuted if something happened and it was judged that you put your child at risk.

Some teens are very sensible and responsible..others not so much! I could have left DD2 alone at night at 14 (but didn't) but wouldn't have felt safe to leave my other three even at 16! In fact we first had a break from them this may when my lot (aged 18-23) clubbed together to send us to Rome for our wedding anniversary! DS1 ..22 looked after DS2 (18 but with autism)

Personally I'd book a day off work for a shagfest :D

ivykaty44 · 03/11/2015 23:03

Buy your DD music, head phones

Take the morning off work

Sleep over exchanges

Trips for her and a friend to the cinema - your treat! Then go home and shag

PjDay · 03/11/2015 23:04

I wouldn't leave her overnight but I would take a days annual leave on a school day!

Italiangreyhound · 03/11/2015 23:13

Is this for real?

Assuming it is get your dd to go on a sleep over and you go and annoy the folks at the local Travelodge!

BrianCoxReborn · 03/11/2015 23:14

DP and I have 4 children between us. His 2 live with him, 20 miles from me. My 2 have different dad's, only one in contact.

So I have to arrange 2 babysitters, one of whom stays at mine. He has only his ex to babysit and she does every other weekend.

If I can't get sitters the same weekend his ex has access, we're stuffed.

Very quiet sex is off the cards with 2 teens, a preteen and a sleep-refusing toddler in the house.

Hotels are our friend. Although we did get an early morning door-slam from the next room, a few weeks ago after we'd had quite the shagathon the night before.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 03/11/2015 23:16

I'd have been frightened alone in the house at 14 tbh. I wouldn't leave her.

Karoleann · 03/11/2015 23:30

I wouldn't leave her either.

How noisy are you? DH and I have managed to have perfectly decent sex life without leaving the house...although we do like to go away just to have a lie in and a bit of time without the children.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/11/2015 23:32

Now I'm beginning to understand why loads of American houses have the master downstairs. And there I was trying to get all the bedrooms on the same level

Greenkit · 03/11/2015 23:32

FFS she is 14 not 4, go have a shagathon and leave her, its one night, not a week.

Scared at 14, oh boohoo, no wonder all the children are bloody wusses (SP)

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 03/11/2015 23:34

Postchildrenpregranny · 03/11/2015 23:39

Were you going to tell her your plans? Just curious....
I have a friend,one of five,whose father owned a shop .She says it took her years to twig why the front door was always locked on Wednesdays when they got home from school(half day closing)

Sunseeker81 · 03/11/2015 23:47

Eugghhh this thread makes me feel ill. TMI. Can't you do it while she is at school or something.

My DD is almost 14 and I would not leave her overnight just yet.

MrsMolesworth · 03/11/2015 23:48

I thought this was why we pay massive sums for school trips to places like Normandy.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 03/11/2015 23:55

14 is too young to be left alone overnight IMHO.

Fatmomma99 · 04/11/2015 00:00

I agree that 14 is way, way to young to do overnight on her own.

Pay a fucking sitter if you can't get a friend of relative.

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/11/2015 00:04

Gosh, well mine managed perfectly well, even cleaned and tidied my bedroom before I got home on the Sunday.

ReginaBlitz · 04/11/2015 00:06

14 isn't to young Ffs

GreatFuckability · 04/11/2015 00:06

At 14 I was running a household, I realise this is not the norm, but surely most 14 year olds are capable of one night alone? Id do it.

Redglitter · 04/11/2015 00:10

Have a look.on Travel Lodge Web site for their £19/££29 rooms. My ex and I used to do that and ask for early check in. I was mortified the first few times handing the keys back about 5pm but got that I didn't care

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 04/11/2015 00:13

What makes you think other hotel guests want to hear your noisy sex session?

pinktips · 04/11/2015 00:26

I was left alone in the day at 14 and was ccomfortable and confident out and about on public ttransport etc but I wouldn't of been comfortable being left overnight. Surely you would tell her where you were going for emergency purposes? If you are willing tto spend money on a room, you can lose a day of annual leave? And if the neighbours are then the issue, just accept you can't have it all your way and reign it in a bit.

spad · 04/11/2015 00:52

I would have been scared home alone at that age too.

inchoccyheaven · 04/11/2015 00:56

I sympathise with you. I have 2dc and so does my dp,all ages between 11 and 15. Ds1 goes to his dads regularlyand stays overnight, but ds2 doesn't and very rarely wants to go on a sleepover so I have him at home with me most of the time. Dp dd is similar and as we don't live together it can be tricky. At this age i wouldnt leave them alone overnight but it is so tempting as love the freedom to have noisy sex.
We tend to put tv or radio on a bit louder than normal,but even when trying to be quiet we know sometimes they have still heard us. Not great but not gonna kill them either. We're not going to stop having sex for the next few years until can leave them !!

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 04/11/2015 01:02

Seems expensive shag to me.

I would just sound proof your room.

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