Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

I am surprised she is still trying so hard to play the victim in between the snarky comments.
Yes, I agree Kracie, I think it's a shame her followers don't realise that it is her comments afterwards that have sparked this.
if she had behaved like a decent human bean and apologised genuinely straight away instead of the travesty of an apology, blocking people who dared to challenge her, followed by calling the bereaved parents who messaged her Dicks etc etc then it wouldn't ever have got this far.

I think some people just lack the ability to look at themselves and admit that they fucked up, genuinely apologise to the people they hurt and try to change the way that they behave.
It's just shocking to see it played out so publicly.

But you don't know what other trolls are saying. It might well be that it has attracted the nutters who send threatening shit. By failing to respond and blocking the sensible ones though it's hard to know.

I can't believe that she likened her crappy writing to Arthur millers!
(Deliberate misunderstanding but hey what's good for the goose...)

True - but a cursory search on Twitter doesn't show anything beyond the sentiments on this thread...

Turns out the offending column is just a reworking of this mumsnet blog from March this year: liz-fraser.com/?p=201

Interestingly, in it she says "Those children are gone now. The people who inhabit my house are not those people."

I wonder if there's been an edit. Although she does still talk about how "The bereavement is long, slow, and refreshed every day because we live IN it, constantly" (clearly she's quite proud of that one).

Kacie, just google her name and you will find she was a speaker/part of panel at Mumsnet Bloggfest 2012. On how to deal with trolling.

There is that word of the day again - irony.

What should MN do, when one of their promoted "hot shot" blogger whose book they've publicly supported and was an invited expert on trolling is calling bereaved members of this online community trolls? Drink gin is what. And swear.

OMG. No, hadn't googled her at all.

Yes - Mumsnet SHOULD say something directly to her then. And they should not hire her again.

Not that we necessarily need to be privy to that conversation, but we should be reassured that it's happening.

And if she's ever hypocritical enough to take money from the "nest of vipers" again, I hope she bloody chokes on it.

The long, slow bereavement is the line that hit me like a punch in the stomach, multivac.

Watching children grow isn't a long, slow bereavement. Not getting to watch your child grow is. Having to choose flowers for a grave for a birthday instead of choosing presents and a cake is. Seeing children the same age grow and reach milestones thinking 'what if?' is.

I honestly can't fathom how she can have twisted this into bereaved parents being the baddies.

Disclaimer - not really. Since she's shit at understanding what is and isn't real.

Can I just comment on the Experimental Psychology degree?

It's a real undergraduate Psychology degree. At Oxbridge they add the Experimental bit to emphasise the scientific slant.

But an undergrad degree in Psychology does not qualify anyone as a Psychologist (as she's referred to on some of her many TV appearances).

The bereaved is long slow and refreshed everyday
Yes Ms Guardian and it doesn't ever ever go away
I hope this poor excuse for a writer doesn't have to watch her child being buried, I really do.
I hope she knows how much she has upset me and all the other bereaved parents and I really hope she gets to read MrsD s beautifully written piece and reflects.
I feel great pity for this Guardianista not hate just pity for she is devoid of empathy!!!

This morning I emailed the Guardian's readers' editor the link to MrsDV's post, asking if they would consider a right to reply.

Unfortunately I received a stock response - below - about commissioning articles - missing the point a little.

The reader's editor's role is, in their own words "to collect, consider, investigate, respond to, and where appropriate come to a conclusion about readers' comments, concerns, and complaints in a prompt and timely manner, from a position of independence within the paper".

If you want to contact them, the email is [email protected]

If only someone at Mumsnet knew someone at the Guardian. Imagine.

Thei response: 'Thank you for your email. The readers' editor's office looks at queries about accuracies and standards, and is not involved in commissioning articles or deciding what is published by the Guardian. Contact details for most Guardian journalists and departments – such as News, Features, or Pictures – can be found at this page: www.theguardian.com/help/contact-us

Best wishes'

Jesus fucking Christ. Her Twitter responses plumb such depths of unabashed and unreflecting narcissism. Enough with the faux outrage you stupid woman, own your crass mistake.

She's still a twat and she just doesnt get it.

She's got a long catalog of memories of her children, going through milestones and continuing to add to those memories, THAT is what refreshes everyday.

Losing a child, there is no refreshing, just a reminder of what has been lost and wondering what they would be like now. Some parents didnt even get to see their children draw breath.

That is why people find it hurtful.

Thank you Tali Your post reflects what I was trying to say

Oh, and the biggest irony of all? Who was it who dragged this thread over to Twitter in the first place?

"Wow. Nice bit of misunderstanding and nasty abuse by readers of my @guardianfamily piece, on @MumsnetTowers. Sorry if it offended anyone."

WTF did she think was going to happen?

Multivac, given that MN had tweeted what a moving piece it was, she probably expected a thread reflecting their tweet.

*KateMumsnet

Apologies - we hadn't seen this thread when we tweeted, and it must have seemed pretty poorly-timed. We can of course see why the language used in the piece might be upsetting to someone who has lost a child*

might be upsetting????????????????????????

Dear MNHQ, I see that you have responded to various comments on this thread, which is much appreciated, but acknowledging that the piece might be upsetting?? You lost a lot of my respect right there & it will take some work to regain it

I just can't be arsed with The Guardian Family section anymore.

I saw that piece and I just wondered why on earth this was considered worthy of a feature article?

That section just seems to be a repository for the angst of north London luvvies.

While the rest of the nation gets on with dealing with heart rending situations st home and at work every day, it feels like the Guardian Family section just catastrophises or fetishises completely mundane middle class life events. Not always - occasionally someone does some research, sometimes someone leVes their desk and talks to some real people.

I do wonder whether, if Liz Fraser had spoken to a few different families about the bittersweet experience of children growing up, she may have realised that the language she was using - of grief and bereavement - was not accurate nor appropriate.

Yy @ angst of North London luvvies

Oh dear Liz Fraser is not happy with me. I retweet a quote saying the apology is not genuine and I agreed with the Arthur Miller tweet showing that and got the whole everyone is being horrible.

Honestly admitally some tweets towards her have been harsh and ott but it's like she can't handle any criticism even if handled rightly and well.

It's the disability campaigner Nicky Clark who is encouraging her to call the bereaved parents who have tweeted her 'dicks'. I'm totally appalled by the whole thing. I usually like Liz but her rrsponse on twitter is dreadful.

Agreed, massively disappointing. MN should have private words with two people it's held up in such high regard.

Meanwhile, spare a thought for Liz won't you all. It's nasty to tell her our thoughts. It's ok for her to tweet and write hers though.

Out of curiosity, do you think she really is as naive as she's pretending to be on Twitter? Is it a self delusion thing? Can people read the words "your response to situation x was horrid" and only hear "situation x was horrid"?

"Wow. Nice bit of misunderstanding and nasty abuse by readers of my @guardianfamily piece, on @MumsnetTowers. Sorry if it offended anyone."

Again. The first "apology". She can't help it if people didn't think she 'meant it'.