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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if a 13yo wets the bed he should strip the sheets?

138 replies

Saddlesore · 01/11/2015 19:07

DS had a friend here for a sleepover last night and after he'd gone I went into his room to fold away the put-me-up bed. First of all I was hit by the smell of pee, and the friend's bed was totally sodden with it. I get that anyone can have an accident. I also get that maybe he was really embarrassed. But if that were the case, why leave the bed in that state? Like I'd never know?

DS strips his own sheets and loads them in the w/machine weekly - it's just one job on a very short list of his "chores", and I would like to think that if he were on a sleepover and had an accident he would strip the bed. And for any doubters out there, it was definitely his friend who spent the night in the spare bed, not DS - they were still asleep in their respective beds when I had to retrieve my toddler DD from their room this morning before she climbed on top of them! In fact, I remember thinking at the time that DD must have wet her nappy because I could smell pee, but was surprised to find it dry.

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 01/11/2015 19:10

He's probably embarrassed and hoping it would go away with the logic of teenage boys. Maybe he thought a pile of wet bedding would be even worse?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/11/2015 19:12

He's probably absolutely mortified and just couldn't say anything.

I once left a period stain in a bed - tried to wash it out which made it even worse so just hid it under the bedclothes and didn't say anything Blush Sad

CrohnicallyAspie · 01/11/2015 19:13

I second being embarrassed, and not thinking it through. Maybe he thought it would dry before you discovered it? (Remembering back to my childhood when I would cover the wet patch with a towel and sleep on it so my body heat dried the sheets!)

SurlyCue · 01/11/2015 19:14

In a strange house? He probably wouldnt have wanted to draw attention to it while he was still there by stripping it, and then putting it where? In the machine? Where is your machine? Communal place so he'd have had to load it infront of everyone? Was there stuff in the machine he would have to take out? And do what with it?

SauvignonBlanche · 01/11/2015 19:16

Poor kid, I agree he was probably very embarrassed. My DS used to try to pretend it hadn't happened.

LucyMouse · 01/11/2015 19:18

No way - he was probably terrified of his friend finding out. Less important (to him!) that you might realise.

NerrSnerr · 01/11/2015 19:18

He was probably really embarrassed. I wouldn't have said anything at that age either.

Idefix · 01/11/2015 19:19

I think you are being a little harsh. Obviously he knows that you will find out but is hoping that you will be discreet and not draw attention to this. Ds friend was probably terribly embarrassed about the whole thing. I hope you have handled this sensitively with your ds. This child has not done this on purpose although I understand it must have been an pleasant surprise for you.

usual · 01/11/2015 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SurlyCue · 01/11/2015 19:23

Also if this is happening in his own house you have no idea how it is being dealt with. His parents may not be the understanding sensitive type. He perhaps worried about how you would react.

Senpai · 01/11/2015 19:23

At that age when they're still insecure teens, a friend finding out you wet the bed is far, far worse than making someone else clean your mess. I hope there was a mattress protector on there?

Saddlesore · 01/11/2015 19:24

I admit to having harsh thoughts about this - so IABU, but I haven't said anything to DS as I suspected his friend was embarrassed. I'm just gobsmacked that he thought I wouldn't notice. Can you imagine the flipside, if he had stripped the bed - "Mrs Saddlesore, I have put my sheets in the washing machine for you." "Thank you SO much. That's so kind. You can come and stay anytime. Do have another doughnut, in fact take three."

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 01/11/2015 19:24

It would be mortifying for him.

And he'll be so worried in case your DS ever says anything to anyone about it. One of mine had accidents until quite late on, and used to shun sleepovers for that exact reason.

And no, he won't have wanted to call attention to it. He'll just have wanted to cover it all up and hope no-one noticed until he'd gone.

It's unconnected to what he's do at home, ability to strip beds, awareness of laundry etc. And everything to do with fear of mocking by peer group.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 01/11/2015 19:24

Oh bless him.

I get its shit and another job but he must of been incredibly upset and embarrassed by it.

Damselindestress · 01/11/2015 19:25

Poor thing, he must have been mortified. It's one thing to be capable on a practical level of stripping sheets and putting them in the washing machine at that age, it's quite another to admit he wet the bed and strip the wet sheets in front of his friend, he would have been too embarrassed. Please don't mention it to him or your son.

EdithWeston · 01/11/2015 19:26

Sorry. X-ed with your last.

Yes, agree that I'd hope wetters would reach that level of suavity. But I wouldn't expect it in a young teen.

SurlyCue · 01/11/2015 19:27

When i was a teen i didnt even know the washing system in my own house let alone a friend's house. But i was all to aware there was one and didnt dare chuck anything in incase it was the wrong things. No way would I have gone near someone else's washing machine and tried to work out whether it was clean or dirty or what to do with it while i washed my sheets.

NerrSnerr · 01/11/2015 19:29

And there's the huge risk of bumping into a parent when carrying the sheets who might try to take them off him, finding out they're wet. Too risky to strip the bed!

Alisvolatpropiis · 01/11/2015 19:29

He was provably mortified beyond words, poor kid.

HPsauciness · 01/11/2015 19:29

Slightly younger, but one of my dd's friends wet her leggings while borrowing them round our house. She did not mention it and they were really honking, so I suggested she change for some spurious reason and never mentioned the actual reason, to her or my dd.

Some children are extremely mortified by not being dry, I think you are expecting a lot for him to strip the bed, carry it down and put it in the washing machine in a strange house in front of you and your son and anyone else in the house. The most he should have done is to have had a quiet word with you and told you so you could have done it.

It's a very embarrassing situation and with the best will in the world, I don't think many under 16's would handle it very well, and plenty of people just leave stains and hope for the best if they have an accident in hotels etc.

Not right perhaps, but don't judge him harshly.

manicinsomniac · 01/11/2015 19:31

Agree that he must have been totally mortified and wanted to hide it from his friend. Maybe he thought it would dry and you wouldn't notice.

If he'd stripped the bed, it's not like he'd have got away with it, is it? The mattress would still be soaked.

There was no way out and he must have known that. Can't imagine anything more embarrassing.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 01/11/2015 19:32

Look up that thread about shit getting on a towel.

Reminds me of THAT scene in trainspotting.

Sallystyle · 01/11/2015 19:34

Poor kid. How upsetting for him.

FlowersAndShit · 01/11/2015 19:36

Barring any disabilities/bladder issues, I don't get how a 13 year old can still piss the bed Confused

Sparklingbrook · 01/11/2015 19:37

I feel sorry for him. Sad His pjs were presumably soaked too so his parents will know now too.

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