to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

How someone ends up having to go to such levels.

Now Im 10 and childish.

Damm phone.
Maybe people have no reason for not liking bf or maybe they have a private reason that they don't wish to state on here.
They are allowed to say they don't like it.
I've always stated i'll support my friends but my choice will be to ff or express. I don't have much of a reason apart from not liking anything on my boobs.
Not much of a reason.
People saying they don't like it or are uncomfortable are reasons.

but if you're question is serious Elle* refer to your own photos. That's how they do it.

pinot are you going to tell us or not why you think BF should be done discreetly in public?

Oh for godsake Piper stop it.

(sigh) I don't not like seeing breastfeeding. I breastfed last year and shall be doing so in January when this nipper joins us.

However, I will try to find a suitably private space or make sure my breast is covered so that no one is subjected to my gargantuan chocolate nipples.

OK, pinot, as you're avoiding a simple question tonight, we have to conclude that you have never explained why you think people should breastfeed discreetly, and you can't do so now. Just like, last night, you carefully avoided all questions about why, if you didn't like seeing breastfeeding, you couldn't turn your head away.

So, as I said upthread, we are left with the unavoidable conclusion that you aren't explaining your views because you are unable to find an explanation. I think that tells us all we need to know about how much weight we should put on them, and leaves breastfeeding mothers free to carry on breastfeeding publicly in whatever manner they find best.

kali if people don't want to BF because they don't want to, without reason, that's fine. Their body, their choice.

But saying other people shouldn't do something, without giving reason for why theyre imposing rules on a large proportion of the population, is NOT ok. If you're going to state how other people should act - especially when your opinion goes against equality laws - then too right they should give a reason.

Kali, the issue isn't people saying that they're uncomfortable with breastfeeding.

The issue is people saying that they're uncomfortable with breastfeeding, therefore women should only breastfeed in public if they can do it discreetly.

I don't think anyone has an issue with people who admit to feeling uncomfortable, but acknowledge that this is their problem and that women should be allowed to get on with breastfeeding in public without having to worry about being discreet.

People saying they don't like it or are uncomfortable are reasons

No, they aren't reasons, kali. If you don't like seeing someone breastfeeding or find it uncomfortable, that is a reason for you to look somewhere else. It isn't a reason for saying that the breastfeeder (who is, after all, carrying out a perfectly lawful activity) should do it "discreetly".

pinot you're clearly not going to give a reason for your bigoted opinions. Which is probably because you know you don't actually have any reasons. Which is probably why you keep posting short sentences, to claim your continuing stake on the thread, so it doesn't look like you've left, but without having to answer the one question you can't really answer.

Therefore I am no longer wasting my time in engaging with you. I suggest you leave the thread as you are contributing nothing and coming across terribly

Do I need or want to rise to this

Ummmmm

No

Happy Halloween!

However, I will try to find a suitably private space or make sure my breast is covered so that no one is subjected to my gargantuan chocolate nipples.

Elle that's fine if that's what makes you feel comfortable. But why your insistence that every other BF mother should do the same?

Look, even breastfeeding women themselves will - if they have any sense of self-awareness - attempt some discretion whilst feeding. What are we to conclude, then? You will say 'well it's no wonder with prudes like you lot making them feel ashamed!' whereas I would say 'well, in our (sadly) highly-sexualised society we can no longer ignore the fact that some folks are nork mad/tit-aversed/breast phobic/buzzwam discomfited, and so it would seem the decent thing to not sit topless in a public place.
..

Piper, I'm not so unreasonable as to insist, but I would wonder why other women are quite happy to exhibit their gargantuan chocolate nipples in public. It's all very well saying this simply doesn't happen but it does .

And yes, I have seen the photos of African women doing the same and no it doesn't alter my opinion about Western women one scintilla.

Is it really such a issue though? Are there that many women whose main objective is to make a statement when breastfeeding and thus, show as much boob as they can? My experience of women, especially mothers, is that they tend to be fairly body conscious and don't feed particularly "ostentatiously" (LOL) anyway.

So you're reasoning Elle for believing women should be discreet is to pander to those who can't separate breasts in a sexual sense to breasts being used to feed a baby? Do you not see how ridiculous that is? And what if the mother can't (or doesn't want to) be discreet due to fussy baby/breast size etc, who then 'wins'? Should she just realise that some people can't think of breasts in any other way than for sex, pop it back in her bra and let her baby go hungry?

I think you underestimate people's intelligence - there very few who are so blind sided by sex that they can't handle watching a baby feed from its mother. And we certainly shouldn't pander to those few. And please stop using ridiculous words for breasts, you're not a child, and it adds nothing to your argument

But breastfeeding women don't generally "sit topless". They expose enough of their breast to feed the baby comfortably, and then sit there with a baby's head in front of it. OK, you may get the occasional flash of nipple as the baby latches on, but again that isn't sitting topless. If women need to "do the decent thing" about a breast-obsessed society, surely they should stop wearing low-cut dresses which tend to expose a whole lot more than breastfeeding does.

My point exactly: it is normal for women to feel body conscious.

And it is normal for strangers to feel conscious of other's bodies.

What's so awful about nipples, Elle? Men expose them all the time. The size and colour can't make a difference, surely?

Some of us don't have gargantuan chocolate nipples and yes I was more than happy to display my non-chocolate nipples if it meant my DD got fed. If people didn't like it I wasn't forcing them to look, they could turn away. Is this not an option in your buzwam theory?

• I am furious that autocorrect keeps insisting upon 'discrete' and that my deliberate use of the apostrophe in 'others'' was changed too. Grr.

I'm so tired. Anyone else fed up of all this?

And do you you really want to live in a world where we just accept being self conscious of ourselves and others, or do you want to change that so we're happier about ourselves?

No, I find it insanely difficult to avert my eyes from ostentatious displays. Honestly, on holiday abroad I am one of those creepoids who stares and stares and stares. Especially at really old people topless. I find it utterly compulsive viewing and nauseating