to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

Trying to divert answering questions by seeking to "reach out" to me with your what happened a is very transparent. It's laughable that you ask my age.

I have no idea why discretion is such a bad thing?

The rallies of young

Why are you so defensive Piper?

I have answered your questions.

Pinot, it was explained upthread why asking people to use discretion is bad: because it implies that what they are doing is shameful. So now please tell me why breastfeeders should use discretion to avoid putting you off your lunch, as opposed to you turning your head not to look at them?

It's a bad thing because you're telling a whole group of people they shouldn't do something quite normal, in the way they want to, because you feel uncomfortable, even though you can turn your head. You still haven't answered the question as to why you're unable to turn your head

Do I have years on you... probably.

Am I wiser than you?

yeah

I can turn my head but it makes it awkward to eat my lunch that way.

You haven't answered my last question. I'm not defensive - or angry, I don't think you're reading my tone they way I'm putting it across at all (pitfalls of online forums). Women's rights, and in turn BF rights, is something in very passionate about can't you tell.

I get the passion Piper and all hail to you.

What I dont get is the name calling.

I seriously doubt that it does make it that awkward to eat your lunch whilst looking in a fractionally different direction, pinot. Surely if you're with someone you're mostly looking at them, and if you're on your own you don't spend your entire meal staring fixedly at one other person in the restaurant?

And if it is awkward to eat, why can't you move to a different seat or turn your chair slightly?

Most bfing women do feed discreetly. Once the first few weeks are over, it's boob out and in mouth in a few seconds. Certainly you stood more chance of catching a glimpse of wobbly belly flab than tit when I was doing it. My dcs' heads and a T-shirt were covering the whole boob.
Most women do feed discreetly.
In the early days it may be less efficient. Much like learner drivers.
I never met a woman who wanted to get her boobs out on display in Costa for the merriment. They may exist. But it isn't worth making the rest of the ordinary bfers feel awkward about it.
I couldn't pump. Just didn't work for me.
Live and let live people.

I can turn my head but it makes it awkward to eat my lunch that way.

Sorry, are you eating on the BF woman's lap? Unless she is BF directly in front of you in your eyeline this explanation is quite frankly bollocks. Also the baby's head covers the breast. So technically you'd only need to turn your head while baby latched on. Even if you did have to turn your head, why does your comfort trump two other people's?

Can't you see how absurd it is to insist a large group of women change something they're protected by law to do, just in case you may be in the same eatery as them sitting directly opposite?

Women can and do feed in public in a discreet way.

Breastfeeding is also a private thing to do between mother and child.

No one really wants to be a part of that in public.

Im not sure what you dont get about that?

I became rather astounded by you saying I was a childish biggot.

Breastfeeding is also a private thing to do between mother and child.

No it's not. Maybe to you it is, but not to people who want to BF in public

No one really wants to be a part of that in public.

Evidence?

Im not sure what you dont get about that?

I can't get something that's not true

I've explained why I think you're childish and a bigot I don't want to labour the point

Who says no-one wants to see a mother breastfeeding her child in public? IME most people are indifferent to it, some actually like it. It is obviously the case that many mothers do in practice feed discreetly because it's not the tit-lobbing activity some people depict it as, but you continue to avoid the question why it should be a requirement, pinot.

Protected by law aside - who is really that bothered?

I've once actively noticed a woman breastfeeding in public, because my weirdo bil pointed it out and proceeded to talk about it (positively to be fair) for about half an hour.

My friends who actually breastfeed? I'm aware they're feeding their baby because I'm sat next to them but if anybody else is aware, it's more they notice and just carry on with what they're doing "oh, breastfeeding lady, should I have a Danish pastry or cinnamon bun with my coffee", that sort of thing.

Nobody cares.

I think men can struggle with the whole concept and given the society we live in, that isn't surprising. Calling an otherwise good new father a dick or controlling for feeling uncomfortable isn't helpful. Encouraging the op to carry on and be encouraging towards him probably would be. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Im off to bed.

Stop banging on about something that women have already had the gumption to make legal.

Stop banging on about women being discreet in public.

Find something that needs changing.

An apology for calling me a bigot might not go amiss.

Couple of things to point out here, to those doing a fantastic job of defending the breastfeeding Mums.

1. There is a previously banned poster on this thread, who has been banned several times now but keeps coming back under new names, again and again.

1. There is a clear troll/goady fucker here who is clearly only here to wind posters up. And I suspect more than one person is posting under that name because the style of writing keeps changing. I've followed the time line through and they're only posting late at night. I'm thinking either men from another website having a laugh or teens piddling about.

Stellar work on this thread but I would completely disengage with the two I've mentioned because they're not interested in a breastfeeding debate and they're getting their kicks from winding people up.

I don't apologise for things I believe are true. I dont know why it shocks you.

You are the one banging on about discretion. And judging by the appalling comments on this thread, A LOT still needs changing. So I'll stick with my belief in this, despite your helpful advice

You're right Lilac, I personally have a knack for rising to the bait

Pinot, you're the one who is banging on about women being discreet. But if you want to stop, by all means, please do.

Id like to find this unbelievable but sadly I dont.

Pinot, if you're going to keep coming back to the thread, how about actually engaging with the questions you've been asked? It's hardly surprising that people become exasperated with you when you keep avoiding them.